Peace Times Three

May you enjoy peace with what is.

May you experience peace with what has been.

May you enter the realm of peace with what will be.

Peace with what is seems the easiest of these three for me. I place myself fully in the present moment and feel deeply an acceptance and appreciation for what is, for what surrounds me, for what I am in the moment. In this way, I enjoy peace with what is.

Peace with what has been is something that I have worked toward, moved toward slowly, progressing through many moments of regret, anger, resentment, guilt, shame or deep sorrow, grief and mourning for what had happened, for what I had experienced. As I moved these feelings through me, allowing them, recognizing them, honouring them as a part of my life, and then releasing them, I brought myself to peace with what I had experienced. In this way, I brought myself the incredible gift of an ongoing experience of peace with what has been.

Peace with what will be is a new experience for me. I have courted and practiced trust in the process of which I am an integral part over many months, even years. Now, I walk on newly sanctified ground and I call this place the realm of peace with what will be. I am at peace with what will be when I step so completely into the will of my higher self, my divine self, that I know only peace when I look into the unknowns that are ahead of me.

For me, this peace with what will be represents total freedom from fear. What is left within me is only love, love times three that mirrors and celebrates my peace times three, love for what is, for what has been, for what will be.

And it is logical, in a magical way, for me to feel peace with what will be. If peace with what is has become my always now being, my 'new normal,' then logically, I can easily slide into the experience of peace with what will be. As I become so accustomed to non-resistance, to acceptance, to joy and appreciation for whatever I encounter in any moment, then there is no reason at all for me to be other than always in the experience and expression of this peace.

In this way, I enter the realm of peace with what will be.

This morning, I realize that it is only when I am at peace with each of these, at peace with what is, at peace with what has been, and at peace with what will be, that I am truly at peace.

Peace be with you.

Love is All There is

Briefly, because words just get in the way most of the time with this.... vast experience of love, feel into your heart and breathe deeply.

You will feel a peace therein. Enjoy that peace.

Find space within your day, within your life, within your world, for that peace to glow quietly.

Everything else will flow from that.

Enjoy.

Seeing the Light

Years ago, I met a woman with a wonderful library. She had many books on spirituality, on the quest to come closer to the divine. She had A Course in Miracles. She had Zen Bhuddism. She had Conversations With God.

I had already done extensive reading on the subject of being human and seeking God. I began to read the books in her library and we would sit together, on her massive sofa, and talk and talk of what we had read, what we had realized, what we had experienced in our quest for God. And often, we would say, "They are all really saying the same thing, just using different words," and we would feel the truth of that, how we are all, everyone on this planet, using different words and different paths to come to the same glorious and transcendent Union with the Divine that we KNOW is there. We can feel it.

Lately, I have come to hold an image within myself, an image that I would like to share with you now.

Imagine a vast circle - so large that every single human being can be standing at the outside edge of the circle and they can barely see the person on their left and the person on their right. At the center of the circle is the pure and glorious light and love that is Creator, that is God, by whatever word you choose to use to name that which is more than can ever be named.

Over the years, we have all been travelling toward that light. Slowly, but surely, with some stops and starts, some turns and twists, we have been moving toward that light.

The closer we get to the center of the circle, to the pure and sacred light at the center, the closer we get to each other as well. As we move toward the center of the circle, we all become closer to each other on our paths to Source. When we get really close to the One that is ALL, we realize that each path has been a perfect and a sacred path all along. We realize that all of the people, every single human being on this planet, has been moving closer to that light, has been going to the exact same place that we have been going to. It's just that they came to it from a different angle, from a different place on the outside edge of the circle.

When we get so close to the center of the circle that it becomes really difficult to know where we end and the light there begins, we realize that every single human being on this planet is bathed in that same light. We look to the left, and we see the light and the love of Creator. We look to the right, and we see the love and the light of Creator. We look within ourselves and we see this love and this light. Even in our darkest corners, the light shines. We look into the eyes of those nearest to us within this vast circle of human beings, and we see this love and this light. We see that even in their darkest corners, the light shines.

We can remember the vast stretch of the circle. We can remember how far from Source we were and how distant other seekers seemed to be from us in our seeking, how different their paths seemed to be from our path, our sacred and holy path to the Divine. We can remember this, but we are so bathed now, in the light of the Divine, that we realize our own brilliance, our own divinity within us, and as we look to left and right, we see throngs of human beings, we see multitudes. This circle is filled now with the multitudes of human beings, moving fast or slow, moving with certainty or with many questions, but always moving toward the center of the circle, toward the incredibly pure and beautiful light that is the One that is ALL, that is Source, that is Creator.

It has seemed that we were so far apart from each other. It has seemed that some were so different from us. It has seemed that we might get there, might be able to get there, on our path, but that others could not do so, for they followed a path so different than our own. It seemed that we were so isolated, so alone, some of us, on our path to God. In reality, we were just on a different part of the circle. In reality, every single person on this planet has been moving toward the center of that holy circle, each in his or her own way, each on a sacred path to God.

And we have not been mistaken. We have not been misdirected or lost. We have not been alone on this quest, alone in this seeking, although it seemed that way. We just couldn't see the others, on other parts of the circle, until we got this close to the center, and realized our essential togetherness as we come so close now, multitudes of us together, so close to that light.

And we realize, as we get so close now, that the closer we get, the smaller the circle becomes for us, until the Oneness is ours, until there is no difference, no separation, between my path and yours, between my seeking and yours, between my love for God and yours.

And then, we are there. We are standing bathed in that incredible brilliance, that incredible peace, that incredible love. We are there and we realize that so is everyone else. Everyone else is there too. Everyone has been moving toward the center, coming in from the far distant edges of this vast, beyond all comprehension vast, circle. And we rejoice, then, in our love and our light. We rejoice in our unity with that divine center. We rejoice in those who are so close to us, multitudes of human beings, all drawn by their own divine center within, to this union with the One that is ALL.

What Will I Create Next?

Suddenly, I have such a clear sense and appreciation for all the great creations with which I have gifted myself.

I trust that I am continuing to create my first choice, my highest good, my best way forward.

What will I create?

I realize that it has nothing to do with my mind. My mind didn't create my friendship with Lui, didn't create my job for Bert, or for Sharon Davis, or my friendship with Bobbie. My mind didn't even know that these people existed until they came into my life and offered me friendship, employment, blessings. My mind didn't create stillstream.com and its effortless, endless flow of peaceful music, or the joys of the path that I am on.

I feel teary about it all, because I am so grateful. My mind didn't create these solutions, these situations that were so perfect for my needs. I trust, and yet, I feel a bit out of the loop. It is my gnost, my spirit, if you want to use that word, my divine creator-being ability and knowing that create these solutions.

So, this is my truth: I do not know. I step into divine will. I trust.

I do not know. I trust.

The New Earth

You are God in the world when you love the world with compassion, when you feel that unconditional love, that peace, within you. By radiating these attributes of the divine, you embody the divine in the world.

When you feel that complete lack of fear, of ego-mind concerns, you are creating the New Earth just through your being.

You bring that divine energy to the world when you, as you are now, love the world. Your love for the world changes the world.

Feel the simple joy of being and doing whatever it is that you love to do.

Love unconditionally. Feel it within you and then radiate it outward. By doing this, you radiate the divine essence within you.

When you live in this way, you will feel ego concerns diminish, become thin and almost faded to the point of non-existence. Soon they will be completely gone.

Creation Through Feeling and Being

We are constantly creating our world. We create our situation, our surroundings, what we face, what faces us.

When we are no longer in resonance with what we have previously created for ourselves, a relationship, for example, or a job situation, we are then out of agreement, out of harmony with what surrounds us, and so we create again. We re-create.

It is not a fault, or a problem. It is not a failure. It is a recreation.

Most creation is co-creation. That is to say, most of the time, we are dancing with others rather than totally alone. There are some creations that are solo works, but most, the vast majority, are co-creations.

When we are co-creating, we put our delight, our joy, our preference and our love out into the world and we attend co-creation with other creator beings, aka, human beings.

(We can also create through fear, dread, worry and anxiety. Just thought that I would mention it. )

It is not, at the level of love and joy. at the level of soul-truth, a competitive thing; it is a constantly improvisational, immediate and connecting thing.

We send signals all the time, and beings respond whether they are aware of our signals or not. Sometimes, they are so far away, or so out of resonance with our signals, our frequency, that they are not aware of them. The signal is sent regardless. The world of energy responds to our energy.

This is creation. We create. We connect with like energies and we co-create by forming agreements with each other - energetic agreements. We don't need to be conscious of this. We don't need words for these agreements. In each moment, agreements are being made on subtle levels. When we are in physical proximity, we make these agreements on physical and overt levels as well.

We recreate whenever the creation that we had before no longer serves us, no longer resonates energetically with our energetic frequency.

Enjoy the creation, the co-creation and the re-creation. You do not err or fail when you choose a new frequency and create something different than you have known.

Nowhere Better

There is nowhere better than here now.

Many of us are trying to get to someplace else, to enjoy ourselves.... when we have... or when we are...

I see people leaving their lives to go somewhere else. They are excited and exhilerated to be doing this. I have wondered about this vacation of one's life, because I do not do this. I have not been on or in a vacation in decades. It is literally leaving one's life vacant while one goes somewhere else for a time. This is not the same as being one who travels and builds a life and a career or a calling upon that travel. This is literally vacating one's life. I did it many years ago and I remember how empty and sad my life seemed when I returned to it.

Vacation is also not the same thing as recreation. Recreation is literally re-creating your experience by creating something that excites you, that you feel passionate about and bringing that into your experience within the context of your life.

People associate the word 'recreation' with fun, and so it is. It is often a whole lot of fun. Recreation for me recently has been creating drumming circles and singing circles to share my passion for sound and rhythm with others. These activities re-animate my joy in simply being here, embodied upon this Earth at this time.

Another recreation for me these days has been the creation of a talk radio show brought to you world-wide through the internet. Look for us live on Saturday mornings at 11:00 Eastern time (Eastern North America), at www.BlogTalkRadio.com. Search for Talking Stick Radio on the BlogTalkRadio site and you'll find us very easily. My friend, Susan, and I are talking about empowerment of self and others through knowing and speaking one's truth in a safe circle of sharing and compassion. This is another recreation that is bringing great joy and therefore, new energy into my life.

I love the world. I love my life. I wouldn't trade this for anything. When I am completely honest with myself, there is nowhere else I would rather be and nothing else I would rather be doing. I live simply. I live quietly. I love the space in which I live and the way in which I live there.

I ground myself into my truth, into my life, more and more each day.

There is nowhere better than here. There is no time better than this moment. There is nothing, no experience, better than this one, right now.

Realization of Truth

I was trying not to deny anyone their truth, their reality.

I was, in fact, denying my own truth, always bending my energies and my perceptions to fit with other people's energies and other people's perceptions.

I realize now that I do not deny their truth when I affirm my own.

I do not deny their reality, when I affirm my own.

I do not deny their creations, their frequency, their world, when I affirm my own.

This realization is echoing through me now, echoing through my life.

I feel allowed to be all that I am. I feel that I allow myself to be all that I am now. And in doing this, I do not deny them.

I allow.

In the Moment

Now, in this moment, the house is bathed in brilliant sunshine and the colours are gorgeous. 

I hear a voice within me say, “But it’s not always like this...” And there is dissatisfaction, fear and anxiety in that voice. 

In this moment, I understand the complete futility and nonsense of that thought. It doesn’t matter what it was like or what it will be like; it only matters NOW what is. That is all.

Follow your bliss in the NOW. Court your magic in the MOMENT. Do what is most exciting for you right this instant. Now.

The past is healed in your joy NOW.

The future is created in your excitement, your joy, NOW.

That is all.

No One Gets Left Behind

When we choose, say, radiant happiness, we change the world. But we only change that manifestation of the almost infinite potentials. So if I choose radiant happiness, every other Lu, and every other person whom I would interact with can continue to explore other choices.

So what this means for me right now, is that when I make choices for myself, I am not limiting others. That version of my husband who is able to accompany me into radiant happiness and joy will do so. Other versions of my husband will not do so. They will be with other versions of me, those versions of me which did not choose radiant happiness. Therefore, if I choose radiant happiness and my husband chooses depression, he has not been abandoned. He will be with another version of Lu.

Therefore, I don't have to wait for him or for anyone. He will not be left behind. He will not be abandoned.

I've been holding back thinking that I am here for them, my husband, my mother, my best friend, thinking that I have to wait for them. I don't have to wait for them! I am free.

As I move forward, very quickly these days, into joy, bliss, unity and peace, I will be accompanied by a version of my husband, my mother, my friend, who is also joyful, blissful, in unity consciousness and peaceful. And if they cannot be that, then they will disappear from my reality. I'm free.

And this is how creation of our reality works. It isn't what surrounds us, but what we choose and what we believe will surround us that matters. Live as if it were true. Just assume that it will be. Or better yet, make it true within yourself and radiate the joy of that reality.

I always thought that was impossible because of other people and their beliefs about reality. Now, I understand that it is possible, because the version of them that I will experience will be compatible with that reality which I have chosen.

Each person, each I AM consciousness, chooses for itself. You can live in a healthier, happier and more peaceful world and you will then only experience people who share that world with you, who share that vision and that version of the world. And I've been seeing this more and more in my life.

These days, I am glowing with joy, happiness and bliss. I don't mind what happens. I am in peace. And I no longer have to wonder at all about the people whom I love and who are not feeling as I do. They will take what they choose to take of my joy, my happiness. I will experience only those who are compatible with my choice of reality. Each person gets to choose, in total freedom, his or her reality.

We are all free to choose at every moment.

Make Your Choice

There are so many stories, so many programs running, about what we are here on Earth and what we are doing here.

There is a program running through the collective consciousness of enslavement. It is a very strong program, a very strong story, that we can all feel to a greater or lesser extent. There is an associated program of victim and perpetrator, also known as ‘good guys and bad guys’ and we have run stories associated with this victim and perpetrator dynamic for millenia.

We receive much information, much of it conflicting information, about what we are and what we are doing here, especially at this time. We have also been told frequently that our discernment is very important at this time.

I choose to believe that whatever comes to me, as point of view, as story, as information, comes for a reason. Therefore, I will listen, or read, and then process the information, fitting it into my sense of what is true, what is worth paying attention to… I will ‘make sense’ of it.

Recently, something came to me which conflicted very strongly with my sense of why we are here and what we are doing here. This prompted me to write this text. This is my ‘sense’ of what we are and what we are doing here, where we came from and why.

*************

All that Is wished to know itself. All that Is therefore split/broke into a multitude of Isness being separate. Instead of being One Allness, All that Is became many Isness’s. And the game/experience of ‘Who Am I?’ began.

And this was a beautiful and terrible game/experience. Because for All to be Nothing was unfathomable, so an answer to the question ‘Who Am I?’ was a constant imperative. And one of the most compelling things to be is to be in opposition.

It is easy to push against something. So, as Universal Beings of Light, divine, creative and immortal, these Isness’s began to move either with or against each other, feeling the edges of their Isness. They were feeling what they were not, so as to better understand what they were. And there was a lot of pushing and bumping and at the level of divine creator being, this meant a great deal of movement, creation and destruction on vast scales to our human minds.

This went on for all of ‘Now Is’ until quite recently in the story of All-being. And it was felt by some that this served nothing and no one and was a block, a dead-end. We were all stuck in our attempts to return to the Oneness, yet honour the Isness which we had become.

Some were becoming more and more oriented toward cooperation rather than opposition, toward recreating the Oneness from which they had emerged through the energy of unconditional love while retaining their own Individuality as I Am’s.

Some continued to move toward more and more individuation, separation and definition as I Am not what you are.

There were two movements in the I Am’s, or individuated Isness’s, some moved toward Unity with ALL within the Self as unconditional love and some moved into even greater differentiation and separation from all that is not Self. Neither is better than the other. Both serve the ALL as ways to answer the question: What am I?

Some have labeled these two types of service as Service to Self or Service to Others.

Ultimately, all That Is as individuated I AM desires to return to the Oneness from which it has emerged, but in the interim, we play games, tell stories, create and destroy whole universes and experience, experience, experience.

Earth is a grand and novel experiment in one story, told from one point of view. Earth is a prison colony in another story, told from another point of view. Take your pick as to which one you will give your energy to.

Earth is populated with Divine Creator Beings, also called human beings, in various stages of awakening to their I AM beingness and their sovereignty. There are a tremendous number and variety of stories of enslavement, cruelty, and suffering on this planet. There are also a tremendous number and variety of stories of joy, love and triumph over terrible adversity. We are embodied and dense, slow, and only more or less aware, although this is changing. We have created stories, dramatic plays, poetry, novels, films, artwork and musical compositions, sculpture and even landscapes to express the fullness of our experiences on this planet. We love cliff-hangers with their great suspense. We love come-back stories, where one triumphs in the face of seemingly impossible odds. If experience is the currency of the Allness, we are incredibly rich.

I believe that experience is the currency of the Allness.  I believe that we are here to slow the vast and lightning quick creation and destruction and conquering and enslavement, the endless game of trying to steal energy, to amass a vast holding so that we become more and more and more until… what? Until finally we are All again. You can probably see my bias. I do not believe that this power over others will get us back to Allness. Indeed, it will not.

I believe that it is Love, the Love that Yeshua ben Joseph (aka Jesus Christ) brought here and that we have carried as a golden potential ever since, that will bring us back, ultimately, to the All from which we emerged. I can feel it in my heart and I am joyful within this feeling.

We are here, Divine Creator Beings, to slow and weigh ourselves so much that we can bring these creations and destructions, these acts of enslavement and degradation, torture and stealing of energy, into a slow enough pace that they can be truly seen for what they are, so that compassion and love for self and others can slowly emerge from the chaos of our strivings.

We mirror the universal battlegrounds of the All as Many trying to make sense of the task of answering the question, ‘What am I?’ We came here to do that.

We came from all over the galaxy and from further galaxies. We are supported by many who remain off-world but intent upon our doings, our becomings and our success in our work to bring a new energy into the universe.

We have been ‘quarantined’ from other worlds, from other Divine Creator Beings, for this work to be done. Those who have been screened from us, who have perceived the screening, have perhaps wondered at why it was there, have perhaps come up with their own stories about why it is/was there (for the screening is thinning, dissipating, dissolving now).

And this brings me to what I want to say here.

I believe that nothing happens for no reason. My friend brought to my attention a text of an ‘interview’ with an alien. (If you’d like to see it, you can google it, I suppose. I won’t provide the link here as I do not wish to do so.) This text is thought-provoking because it gives us the view of our planet and of our being here from the point of view of an off-world Divine Creator Being who is NOT part of this project, not as a human being on the planet, not as part of the angelic support group off-planet. So, we then are given a view of ourselves as we are seen by others who call us prisoners, trapped in servitude, crazy, perverted, etc. And it makes us question ourselves, and question our stories.

I believe that the Being who communicated in this interview is one who has grouped herself with a Service to Self group, believing that constant expansion through conquer and control of others is the ultimate path to Completion and Union or Reunion with the ALL. I believe this because of the focus on opposition to others that I perceive in this being through the communications provided in the interview transcript.

This kind of experience is perfect for us at this time. It is not surprising to me that this came to my attention now. This experience serves us. For the veil is lifting, the screen, the quarantine, is lifted and dissipating. There will be more of these encounters to come. And it is perhaps best for us to prepare ourselves for this.

For me, this preparation comes as growing clarity about what I Am and what I Am doing here and why. For me, this preparation culminates in knowing beyond all doubt and all questions the truth of my being Love and Compassion, of holding within that love and compassion the ALL. For we do not go Home to Union with the Divine; we bring Home and that blessed Union with the Divine into us and so into the world.  

What we have done, we have done for the Whole of the Multi-verse, the vast beingness that is the ALL. This is what I believe. Our work is largely done. We have created love and compassion. We have grown them and contrasted them to all else. We have, many of us, chosen Love as opposed to Fear, Service to Others as opposed to Service to Self. And when we feel into it, we can feel this new energy within us. I call it compassion. I call it unconditional love.

Some of those who come now to see what we are, will be deeply implicated in the stories of dominion and conquering, of opposition, of us versus them. These are the off-world ‘wars’ that we have heard about. This is the fifth dimensional ‘chaos’ that we have heard about. We are re-entering the galactic environment which is populated with these energies. Our choices remain the same. Do we choose love or fear? It is time, for those of us who open ourselves to these questions, these experiences, to make our choice knowing that we are not alone in the universe and that we are in no way less than the other Divine Creator Beings who populate the universe.

This is Interesting....

I've been feeling many emotions very strongly around the sense of not having done much with my life, not having achieved much, not having my creations, my prose, poetry, photographs, songs, artwork - be desired by others, be appreciated by others. I'm working with this right now.

There is ego-mind involved here - a strong ego need for recognition, so that ego can feed on that. There is also an issue, for me, of provision of abundance. If my achievements are limited, so limited, then so is my abundance. There is a part of me that believes that. Our need for recognition is tied to our sense of self-worth and our sense of self-worth is tied to our issues of abundance and enjoyment of what life has to offer.

I come to understand at a very deep level that I chose this non-achievement in the material sense for this lifetime as I chose to delve very deeply into the interior self, into self-awareness and self-actualization.

I chose to live ideas like unconditional love and honouring, compassion and total acceptance of all that is. So I chose a quiet, unassuming life, a 'little' life in the 3D view of things. I am simplifying here because it's really quite big, but there aren't enough words to convey the totality of it. My ego-mind self struggles against this limitation of my being seen in the world and doing things that are lauded and applauded. I chose to limit my doing so that I could concentrate on being.

So, I'm feeling my way into all of this, and working toward acceptance of this and transmutation of the ego-tripping part of this. My ego-mind self has been yelling and causing a ruckus and that is to be witnessed, honoured and understood. And I do understand it. Ego feels ripped off!

But, this morning, in quiet safe space, I gave my ego-mind a little taste of my I AM presence energy and it was really interesting, because ego got really quiet and felt different when I did that. Ego got very calm and accepting. So, this is interesting.

We come into this incarnation, this being in the world, with a certain soul level, divine self level, purpose and thus a sense of what is vital to this incarnational journey and it doesn't always jive with ego-mind or human consciousness perceptions of what is important or desirable.

Will I experience abundance? I already have and will again and again and again. The light that I shine as I AM here on this planet is a gift of great value and in return for that gift that I give, I receive abundance, grace, ease and joy. But I don't experience everything that my ego-mind wanted to experience. I was gonna be somebody!

It feels like a tragedy of promise and potential unfulfilled. It is a very very hard row to hoe, a hard life to experience. I would have had a much easier time of it if I had 'amounted to something' in the eyes of others, in the eyes of my family, my coworkers, my ego-mind self. My own ego-mind self judges me as being a failure. And this is what needs to be released and transmuted.

Last night, I realized that my sister and brother had judgemental and critical energy being sent to me when I was younger, and were doing that by agreement with me, as I wanted to be kept small, kept interior looking, self-critical, self-doubting and self-aware. I suppose that I internalized that judgement of myself. I choose to release that now, today.

So, I sat with that and worked with that for awhile and I have completely released that, and the anger of my ego-self aspect at not being able to experience ‘success’ and the recognition of others’ that I am successful. I’ve come to deep resolution of this and acceptance of this. I made these choices pre-incarnation. It has not been easy, but it has been absolutely worth it to become all that I have become. I have actually ‘succeeded’ in this incarnation 100%, and I am all that I should be now and always have been.

And this is true for everyone. We are all exactly where we should be all the time. We are all exactly as we should be all the time. It might not seem that way to our ego-minds or to our human consciousness.

Step into the I AM consciousness within you. Center yourself in your heart and your heart's truth to find it. When you have done this, introduce the I AM to your ego-mind, and see what happens.


 

What Are We Here For?

I just received an email from a friend who is struggling to make sense of his life.

He rarely expresses himself so openly and when he does, I treasure it because it speaks of his trust in me, in our friendship.

Well, I answered his email straight away with as much wisdom, compassion and unconditional love as I could possibly put into an email. I would do more, but he shuns closer contact. This is a person who struggles to look into the mirror. This is a person who doesn't always like himself, much less love himself.

As part of the email message that I sent to him, I encouraged him to trust our friendship enough to lean on me from time to time. I asked, "What do you think I am here for?" And then I answered my own question: That is what I am here for.

And this is what I want to say in this post: My heart is filled with love and joy to be able to help someone who is feeling sad or confused about his life, or is maybe judging himself and seeing that he comes up short of his own estimation of what he should be. All I want to do in this world is to be that friend, to be that counsellor, to be that person. That is what I am here for.

My heart is so full these days. My heart's love and wisdom is what I am here for.

What are you here for?

I know you will come to an answer that fills your heart with gladness, peace and joy.

I know that we are here to change this world, to make it a more loving place, a place that holds warmth for every single man, woman and child. I know that this world is ours to create.

That is what we are here for, all of us together.

Regrets Released

I recorded a song, slow and filled with feeling. It matches the mood and feel of the song that I sang on the land just a few days ago.

Here is the link to that song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gs6YeryP0uc&feature=plcp

I am pleased with it because it truly represents the way that I sing to the land these days.

A Heaven of Colour and Sound

Day before yesterday, I sat on the autumn-hued hillside looking out at the bare branches of the hickory and maples, the deep green of the hemlocks and the copper tatters of beech leaves still holding on. One young beech had brilliant yellow leaves clinging inspite of the wind that had me drawing my collar up.

I was facing Mount Pinnacle, seen through the branches and across the valley. It looks like the breast of a young woman lying on her back. It is very graceful and soft and its colour was purple-blue.

I started to tone. This was not the sounding that I have been doing, but a song to the moment, to the scene. It was incredibly melancholy and slow. There was a sense of quiet release to it. I decided to call it 'Regrets Released.' I would have liked somehow to record the song as I toned it there on the hillside.

I will try to somehow recreate it this coming weekend with a microphone and digital recorder in the house.

That same day, I toned very differently over by the mountain stream. The water was black and silver and the mosses glowed green on the dark rocks, wet from the spraying stream water as it rushed over and down. As I toned, chickadees came in close and sang along.

I am living in this Heaven of colour and sound.

Feeling Into the Truth

The days here in southern Quebec are getting shorter. My dawn walk must be postponed until almost seven o'clock now because the darkness lingers. The mornings are often cold and wet so that I am reluctant to leave the light and warmth of the house. Still, I call my neighbour on the other side of the ridge and we agree to meet out there, in the chill and the dim light. We encourage each other.

 It was earlier this year, when the sun was still bright and warm in the mornings, that I made a decision that changed me deeply.

I decided to always be in the truth of myself, no matter what that truth was. I decided to ground myself in the truth of myself in every moment.

So, if I am frustrated, then I accept that. If I am craving a cigarette after quitting smoking ten years ago!!!! Then I accept that also. If I am filled with sadness because I find myself still longing for things that I do not have, then that is my truth in the moment and I accept that as well.

From this acceptance of my truth, this acceptance of what I am feeling in every moment, I am free. I am no longer trying to avoid the truth about myself. I am no longer in denial, resistance, or struggle against my situation and my feelings about my situation.

It doesn't matter what I am experiencing in the moment, because it will be accepted by me. Nothing can shake that solid foundation, which is the courage and the clarity to accept my experience in every moment.

I feel whatever I am feeling. I am centered and grounded in the truth of my being and that is a solid place on which to stand.

I practice acceptance, appreciation, unconditional love, non-judgement, non-resistance, trust, peace, enjoyment and gratitude.

Whenever I stray now, into resistance of my own truth in the moment, I can feel it, like poison in my veins, like lies poured into my soul, like injury to my very core. I don't stay there for very long, I can assure you.

So, even though the days are darkened and the winds are cold, I surrender into every moment of every day and I find the days good!

I vow right here and right now that I will always embrace my own truth in the moment, the whole truth of my being, my feeling and my knowing. This is a safe space for me. It might seem like it would be the opposite, but this is a safe space.

Which Comes First?

Do I choose to have a good day and so have the experience that my day is pleasant for me?

Or do I experience pleasure and thusly conclude that I am having a good day?

Today, a Sunday, the sky is grey and the rain is falling steadily. I could easily feel discouraged or disappointed by this. Yet, I have chosen to accept what life brings to me and to find the peaceful core of every moment. So, in the dim morning light as the cold rain falls, I think about busying myself in my kitchen, preparing foods for the days to come and warming my home at the same time.

We experience the world around us as a reflection of our vibration, not the other way around. We experience happiness because we choose happiness as our way of being, our frequency of being. It is like tuning ourselves to a particular radio station. We are tuning ourselves to the 'radio station' called happiness, or contentment. And everything that we experience, if we accept it as it is, then becomes our accepting and happy experience of the world.

It is easy to fall back into discontentment and dismay. All we have to do is to be in resistance to something that we are experiencing. In this way, we are saying, "No. I do not accept this situation, feeling or experience." We separate ourselves, in this way, from the divine flow of being and becoming that surrounds us, that lives within us. We become separated, alienated and discontented.

Therefore, acceptance and allowance of all things are the way forward if we wish to experience peace, joy, happiness and the feeling of being part of life's divine and graceful flow.

What You Are to Me

This morning, I realized how much I love to be doing what I am doing, helping others as best I can, being the self I have seen in my most compassionate moments.

I also saw within me what a beautiful tangle I am.

And you are also a beautiful tangle to me.

And I have fallen in love, this morning, with the world and all of its tangles. Once again, I have fallen in love.

All of Your Needs Are Met

Just breathe into that truth for a moment.

We tend to place ourselves in a world where that is decidedly NOT the reality. Yet the world in which we place ourselves is of our own making.

In truth, all of your needs are met.

Where you experience hardship or lack, this is serving you in some way. It is not that you should enjoy it, or that it is easy. It is that the difficulty and the struggle are serving you.

And you are provided for in that difficulty and in that struggle. All that you need to accomplish the realization that you are seeking is there.

This is something that needs to be felt, rather than thought. This is something that needs to be breathed into the body and then allowed to find itself there.

All of your needs are met. You always are exactly where you should be.

You are safe, even as you continue to challenge yourself to realize more and more of the beautiful truth of yourself, the height and breadth and depth of yourself, you are safe. You are provisioned and provided for. The ground beneath your metaphoric feet is steady, even when it appears to be otherwise.

Feel it and breathe. Then go on into the myriad tasks that await you in your busy and challenging life knowing that you are supported by the very Earth upon which you stand.

A New Level of Love for Self

In the past, I have loved my mind, my soul, my heart, my emotions, my process and all of my experiences - the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

I have loved my skin and my muscles too.

Sitting in my comfortable chair the other evening, calm and restful, I suddenly perceived my internal organs.

I began at the base of my torso and could perceive with my mind's eye, very clearly, the organs situated there. I loved them completely, delightedly, passionately and compassionately.

Then, I moved upward and perceived the viscera of my digestive system and felt a huge love for them.

And on it went, up through my lungs and heart, my brain and the whole system of ears, nose, sinuses and throat that processes air, scent and sound.

Suddenly, I was intensely aware of my bones, my skeletal structure, almost as if I were a medically trained professional and could see my body as a series of systems, intricate, complex and perfectly designed as my physical vessel through time and space. The love and joy were total within me and were delightedly spreading through my body, not just at the level of my skin and muscles, as before, but deep into my viscera.

And the level of self-love that now permeates even my liver, my kidneys, my bowels and my bladder feels miraculous to me. This is a whole new level of self-love.

The peace and trust within me are complete, it seems.

Life is easy, joyful and calm.

A New Level of Trust

Throughout all of the interactions and situations of this day, I dwell in a new level of trust, a level which has come into me sweetly and is resonant and consistent, and enduring… (This is the wrong word as it connotates suffering and struggle… long lasting is the sense of it.)

This new trust is not just that nothing terrible or bad will come to me, but that the exquisite perfection of my highest good and the highest good of all is unfolding within my experience in a grace so sweet and serendipitous and melodic that I find myself weeping just to express my gratitude and appreciation for it.

Beautiful Tangle

 

 



I was visiting my mother, aging and somewhat disabled by her lack of fitness and muscle tone and the pain in her knees. Her old dog, Riley, had been my brother Christopher's dog and when Christopher died by suicide in 1996, Riley became my father's dog, and when my father died in 2000, Riley became my mother's dog. So this old dog was our last link to my dear brother who died alone and in despair in ’96. Riley was deaf and blind in 2007, when this picture was taken.

The old dog and I went down the length of the Island where I grew up, an island about one mile long and half a mile wide, in the middle of the St. Lawrence River, which is quite large. We walked slowly to a beach down by the old community dump. It was quiet, out of the way, peppled and reedy. There were ducks swimming out beyond the reeds. The shoreline was weedy and seedy and poplar trees leaned perilously overhead.

So there I was, filled with sadness, thinking about my mother being so dottery and Riley so old and disabled, blind, deaf. I had to touch him on his back to get his attention, to 'tell' him that I was changing activities. No longer walking, now sitting. No longer sitting, now walking. His nose did the rest. Riley who had been so young and filled with enthusiastic, doggy life. Riley, my last living link to Christopher, was dying before my eyes, for a dog with no sight and no hearing cannot live long, and as old and feeble as he was, his days were indeed numbered.

Add to all of this my own emotional tangle. My love for the Island, and knowledge that it had irrevocably changed, would never be again what it once was when I was a child, my life with my husband, the struggles and the fears, and all of the unknowns.

Yet, in that moment on that beach, with the camera, taking photographs as I love to do, I came across this tangle of vegetation. And although I am an avid amateur botanist, I do not know what this plant is. I fell in love instantly with the colours, the form and the texture of the image. I had to get it on film. I lay down among the mosquitos and spiders and pressed my body into the grey stones and pepples to get the image.

When I left the beach, Riley stumbling into things behind me, my heart ready to grieve for him, my eyes near to tears, I felt the perfection of each moment, the perfection of the beautiful tangle. Dead or dying, or newly born, all that we experience is perfect in itself.

 

Offering Sounding as a Therapy

I began to realize that the sounding that I do is deeply and almost mysteriously beneficial for me.

I wondered if it might be beneficial for other people as well and thought that I'd like to try it out on some friends and acquaintances.

So, after I had done this for a few weeks, I began to realize that this 'treatment' really is beneficial for people who receive it.

People report feeling deeply loved, feeling joy, feeling peaceful during the treatment. They report that it feels wonderful to hear these sounds.

People also report that after having received one treatment or two or three treatments, they see changes in their life. They report that blocks to getting things done are removed. It is as if the energy is now unblocked after the sounding session.

Here are some direct quotes from people who have received a therapeutic 'sounding' session with me.

"Lu and I had our first sounding session on Skype on August 2. I enjoyed listening to her singing and toning and the sounds she was making. I knew there were some big blocks in my energetic field, blocks to my creativity, and I was ready for anything that could open things up.

On August 5 I woke up with the idea to create a blog with all those poems I'd written five years ago that were just sitting on my hard drive. For the next 48 hours I created the blog and read through and posted those poems like a madwoman! This was nothing short of miraculous. It had never occurred to me that I could publish them all, or anything I wanted, on a blog! Since then I've been writing daily, a second miracle.
The third miracle was getting over the fear of going global, of finding my voice and speaking my truth. That's happened in a number of different ways, too numerous to recount, all since the beginning of August, and it happened spontaneously and so fast!
The fourth miracle was organization. Since early August I've spent days cleaning out the closet and the garage, weeding the garden, and yes, I've even started tending to my bookkeeping. It's time for me to create a new relationship to money and all things financial.
After our first session I was so amazed and excited, the changes were happening so fast, that Lu and I agreed to do a number of sessions together for a period of time.
All of Lu's sessions are different. Things I've felt during sessions have ranged from feeling like I was wrapped in a pleasant sort of energetic bubble wrap, to feeling like I was lying down somewhere, being fanned off by a medicine man, hearing him chanting over me, to feeling a waterfall of energy bubbling and trickling around me and fizzing, like champagne pouring through my energy field.
It may be later in the day or after a few days that I'll "see" what that session was all about. I don't "know" what's going on intellectually during the sessions. A pattern will develop in my life, a theme will emerge, and that will tell me what was going on.
I very much recommend having a session, or several sessions, with Lu and her miracle-inducing gift of sounding. We still have several more to go and I'm very excited to see where this co-creation of spirit will take us both."

This is a long quotation, but I wanted you to really understand how much more freely the energy is moving and being expressed now for this person. 

Here is another quotation: 

"As the session begins, I feel it bringing me into balance, clearing any distress or emotional turmoil from my being.

From within my center, I am then able to make the choices I feel in my heart, and to know I have the strength and ability to carry them out.

This greatly enhances and accelerates the process I'm going through right now: I feel comfortable taking steps, crossing thresholds, that would otherwise take so much longer to reach and overcome.

For me, the sounding delivers whatever it is I need: a guide that holds my hand, an energy that allows me the rest when I need that, a support that comforts me and gives me strength when I feel doubt or anxiety,...

And I think for all, it will be a blessing, and a gift, in whatever way they need it, as it is for me.

I wholeheartedly thank Lu for sharing her abilities and gifting us with this beautiful gift of healing!"

I do not know why this sounding began to come through me as it did. I am deeply grateful that by using it, I am able to help other people to do what they choose to do.

We are being encouraged, indeed, even pushed now, to grow and change and express ourselves. This sounding helps people to do this. It seems to have great benefits for those who experience it.

A sounding session only takes about 20 or 30 minutes. It can be done for anyone anywhere in the world who has skype or has access to skype, and I can use the telephone in most countries in the world also.

So, I'm really excited about this! I know what it has done for me. And of course, whenever I feel a bit tense or stressed, I can give myself a 'sounding session.' More importantly though, I know now what it has done for other people and I am in awe of this.

Because I value my own energy, sanity and time, I choose to charge a small fee for giving a sounding session, but I have made the fee a small one so that it is affordable for everyone, and I've been told that it is a very reasonable amount: $30.00 Canadian.

I have set up a PayPal invoicing system so that anyone anywhere in the world can pay for a session in their currency using PayPal, which is a secure internet payment system, and PayPal will convert their currency into Canadian dollars.

The technology allows me to provide this truly beneficial therapy to whomever would like to receive it. I am working on a website now which will provide all the details to people who would like to have a session.  If you would like to have a session before the website is up and running, just email me to set up an appointment!

This is really exciting, amazing and it has changed my life in just a matter of weeks.

 

Sounding

I want to express my deep joy and gladness about the new direction that I am moving in.

I am sounding from somewhere deep within my soul-self, my spirit, my divine being in the world.

This began as an extension of my love of singing and toning. I would often sit somewhere quiet and peaceful on the land, perhaps in the forest. I would sit and a simple tune would come up within me and I would sing it, bringing in slight variations, prolonging some notes, repeating phrases. I would sing it as a sort of offering to the beauty and peace of the land.

About six months ago, I noticed a change in the sounds that I was making. It was less a simple tune and more like a strange language that perhaps existed on this Earth many many years ago. I still enjoyed making the sounds. I thought that perhaps it was just a new way of singing.

I began to sing/sound this strange language to individual trees. Then, I began to realize how good I felt when I made this sounding. I began to do it for myself, to myself. Then, recently, I began to want to do it for other people.

There is a link on this blog page, at the top of the page, to a youtube video that I made of the sounding, so that people can understand what I am talking about.

I began to offer to do this sounding for friends. I have now done this sounding for seven people. I have done this for some people three or four times. When it is done in a series, with each sounding being about one week apart from the previous sounding, it seems to have a greatly beneficial effect for the person.

This morning, I did a third sounding for a dear friend. All I can say is "WOW." And she felt it also. We are both in awe of this. It feels like the most beneficial energy massage. It changes the balance of energy in the person's energetic body and enables them to remove blocks and grow and become the person that they are choosing to be.

I will write more soon about this and more.

The Second Coming of Christ

I get a jolt of energy when I write that title for this post. And with good reason; there is a lot of old energy, a lot of strong expectation in the collective consciousness with regards to this 'second coming of Christ.'

It is happening now. We are the ones who bring the Christ energy into our hearts and we are the ones who allow and even invite our own divine souls to come into us at this time, to inform us with our own divinity.

I wrote this to a Christian woman a few weeks ago:

It is time now for all of us to lift up our hearts to the love that is limitless, the love and the light that is Christ. It is time now for all of us to become that love, only that love, to surrender all that we are, all that we have ever been, all that we feel is unworthy in us, to Him.

We have, some of us, been faithful to Him through many many years. And this is good and this is true devotion.

But now it is time for us to raise ourselves up through the love that we are, the love that we become when we surrender completely to Him, so that there is nothing in us that is not love, that is not peace, that is not faith in the perfection of all things. When we do this, we allow our own divine soul, our own eternal and sacred soul to join the Christ within us and this is the beginning of a process which is beyond words, beyond my human understanding, but which is not to be feared. It is our coming back to Him as He comes now to meet us. The time is now.

All the World's Words

Every single person on this planet is feeling the effects of the times that we are living through.

Our planet, our home in space and time, is currently aligned with our sun and the very center of the galaxy. There is a direct line from the center of the galaxy to our sun, and then to Earth.

Energies are flowing from the center of the galaxy to our sun, which amplifies them and then beams them out to every planet in our solar system, including Earth. We are all feeling the effects of this massive inflow of light energy, information and transformation.

This alignment is fact. How we respond to it, what we choose to call it, is entirely subjective and we bring all of our beliefs, our imaginings, our hopes and our fears to the words that we use to talk about what is happening to us, through us, within and without.

This alignment is a thirty-six year event, with the year 2012 in the middle of those 36 years. So we've had roughly eighteen years leading up to perfection of the alignment and then another 18 years as we slowly move out of alignment. This astronomical alignment happens every twenty-six thousand years or so, so it is a very big deal. And we really do not know how it will affect us. We have no written records of the last time we were aligned astronomically in this way with the center of the galaxy and our sun.

This time has been called the shift from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius. It has been called the Awakening. It has been called the Lifting of the Veil, or the Apocalypse. It has been called Earth's Ascension to a higher dimensional existence. It has been called humanity's Ascension to a higher dimensional existence. It has been called the End of Time. It has been called the Gathering of Souls. It has been called Enlightenment. It has been called the Quickening. It has been called Earth Changes. It has been called the emergence of the New Earth. It has been called the Christalline Age or the Christalline Era. It has been called the Second Coming of the Christ. It has been called the Age of Christ Consciousness. It has been called the emergence of New Energy. It has been called the End of Duality Consciousness. It has been called the emergence of Unity Consciousness. It has been called the shift to Fourth Density from Third Density.

Take a breath.

Which of these are true? Which of these are false. Are any of them true? Are any of them false? Does it matter what we call it? Can we even ascribe words to this? Can words even come close to meeting our need to understand this?

I suspect that they cannot.

I am in awe of what is currently unfolding and emerging upon our planet and within each one of us.

I have been watching, listening, thinking and feeling about this time that we are living through actively and with great energy and enthusiasm since 2005. I have strong feelings about it. I have a powerful sense of certainty about it.

I know that this is real, that this alignment is impacting us greatly. We are being challenged as we have never been challenged. We came into this lifetime for this challenge, to experience this time. We are being asked to literally 'rise to the occasion' as the light and love energies flow to us from the center of the galaxy, into our sun, and are then amplified and beamed here to our Earth and into our very bodies, our minds, our hearts.

You can call it whatever you like. I call it everything that I listed above and more besides. I call it the Reckoning. We are being asked to accept everything that we are now and have ever been. We are reckoning our own experiences and bringing them all into account as we literally bring ourselves face to face with God. And it is when we look into the mirror that we face God.

And there is no saviour here, nor a need for one. We are the seeker and that which is sought.

We are God and we are the desperate separation from God.

We are the longing for love and the love which answers.

The Christ that some seek sign of is found only within themselves, but until they can accept their humanity, they will not know their divinity.

I was talking to some people the other day, shining love as much as I am able, and one of the people to whom I was talking professed herself to be an atheist. And I realized in that moment that it doesn't matter whether you profess yourself to be an atheist, a Christian, a Muslim, a Sufi, a Hindu, a Bhuddist, a Jew or a Pagan. This invitation to ascend to our own divinity, our own perfect peace, our own love that is ALL, this is for every one of us. This door is opened to everyone, and everyone is feeling it in one way or another.

For Christians, who have waited faithfully for the coming of the Christ again to this blessed Earth, this is an especially awesome time. Everywhere I look and feel and breathe, there is the Christ. We have only to raise our own consciousness, to take that step up, and the love and light that is Christ will meet us halfway and millenia of faith will be answered.

The time is now. Right here. Now. Breathe and know that all waiting is done. No matter whom you pray to, whom you lift your eyes to, you can lift your consciousness, centered in your heart, and the union with your own divine and eternal Soul will complete itself.

We are the Christ. We are the divine in human form. We are the ones we have been waiting for.

It is time.

Being a Divine Human on Planet Earth

My long journey to this way of being has taken place over many years. Decades have passed and during those decades, I have been fascinated by what it means to be human. It began with poetry and psychology and I have not stopped since that time, but have steadfastly gone deeper and deeper into the mystery of being human, which means being both infinite and limited, eternal and mortal, divine and despairingly separated from Source.

I remember moving to a new shared residence, living on a communal farm in south-eastern Ontario in the early 1980's. I was looking at what treasures might be found on the communal bookshelves. I remember saying to myself, "I choose to be wise, and so I will read these books that I see here, Sartre and Camus, Rollo May and Aldous Huxley. All my adult life, I have sought such wisdom as I could find in any situation, in every situation. And deeper and deeper I have gone into the mystery of the human condition.

Whether one is a Christian or a Jew, a Muslim, a Bhuddist, a yogi, or an extra-terrestrial, there is a fundamental truth that all of us navigate and do our best to come to terms with. We are not God and yet we continually aspire to God. We are separate from the world and we struggle within the unbearable context of our essential separation.

This struggle is in itself a testament to our divinity. We would not seek if we did not somehow know that which we seek.  Indeed, we are divine. We are God voluntarily separated from God so that we can look out and see God. We are mirror. We are frame. We are the absolutely priceless gift of the experience of being human and in every moment we are giving this gift to God, to Source, to Creator.

And this incredibly courageous and precious gift that we are, in our very being, is so perfect that it is time now for us to rejoin our consciousness of being God also. Our divine and eternal souls are ready to reunite with us. This merging of the human and the divine is happening now. Call it what you will; there are many many names for this.

I will write more soon of the various words which we beloved humans have attached to this reunion with our own divinity. For now, breathe deeply and know the profound perfection of the service that your consciousness and your heart's truth have provided to the ALL.

New Understanding, Greater and Greater Love

I continue to look back at the journey that brought me to this time, this moment and all that I am now.

The wisdom and compassion that I found so soothing and so enlightening in the channelled words of Those of Q'uo led me to consider other channelled information that I would have ignored and even belittled only six months earlier.

I joined a small group of spiritually-minded people in a 'Spirit Circle' where once a month we would sit and share our growth and becoming, our insights and challenges as we sought to become ever more clearly a voice for our own spirit and for the spirit of ALL that is in all things. The organizer of this monthly gathering was a man named Ji. He spoke the word Ascension in a way that made me want to know more. He brought to my attention the channelled words of Tobias, channelled through a man named Geoffrey Hoppe in Colorado. I began to study the channelled words of Tobias and found a way forward for myself there.

Those of Q'uo had given me the feeling that I wanted to embody more and more. Tobias gave me the background, the story that allowed my human mind to work its way slowly to that vast, limitless feeling of love and peace, of honouring and of witnessing the world with limitless compassion that is the resonant vibration, for me, of Those of Q'uo.

Tobias would invite other beings to join him in the channelling of energy and information. He invited Archangels Michael and Rafael, Gabriel and Uriel and he invited Einstein, St. Germaine and Kwan Yin. He invited God and His divine embodiment, or son, on Earth, Yeshua Ben Joseph. When I read the channelled words of Yeshua Ben Joseph, I could feel myself vibrating, like a bell that has been struck. And all that I read, I took in and used my own discerning intelligence with, so that over time, I took what resonated for me and left the rest for others, for there are as many ways to reach this perfect Center of the infinite Circle of Being and Becoming as there are human beings on this planet at any given moment. And each of those beings and each of those ways of reaching the Divine is perfect and whole and sacred.

So, there I was, following my own particular path, for years. From early 2007 until the summer of 2010, I soaked up everything I could find that rung that bell within me, that bell of love for ALL, of compassion and joy and sacred Union with all that is. And I struggled a great deal as well, for all that is not that love and not that joy within me, within my life, within my experience weighed very heavily on me.

One night, in the middle of the night as I lay in sadness and despair on my bed in the darkness, I called to Yeshua Ben Joseph and He was there as surely as this computer screen is in front of me right now. He was there with a love and a light so powerful that I was greatly comforted and knew again so clearly the way forward for me. I said, "I would like to embody the Love that You Are! I would like to bring that Love into the world." And the answer that I got back was, "And so you do. What I am, you are also." And I could feel it. And I just let it sink into me and did my best to become that love and that light so that I could then recall it, remember it. Ever since that night, I have known that my path through this shift of the ages, my path into the experience of Ascension, whatever that ultimately reveals itself to be, includes my devotion to Yeshua and my vast and unending love for the energy that is Yeshua.

I have been doing the best that I possibly can since the summer of 2010 to embody and realize the divine that I am as I follow the light that is Christalline, the light and love that is the Christ on this Earth. I call this love and light Yeshua. Call it whatever you will. It is this that moves me, inspires me, challenges me, informs me, enlightens me and provides the sense for me of what my service is at this time. Words cannot convey the experience of it. They can only touch the surface of it, the edges of it. That will have to be enough.

The divine that I am and the divine that you are are needed now in the World. This I know to be true. It is time.

Earth Changes

I will continue for just a few more posts with the story how I came to hold the beliefs and energies that I hold today.

In 2000, my world fell apart. I lost my job, my father and my brother in the space of two months. I was devastated. I stopped looking for miracles, stopped seeing grace and struggled just to get through each day. Yet, even then, I said with determination, "This too is the love of the Goddess." I did not lose my faith, but I did lose my will to continue. I wanted more than anything to join my brother on the other side of the veil. He and I were very close. I always felt that he was the only person in the world who really understood me and saw me clearly. And I always felt loved while he was in the world. When he was gone, I wanted to leave too. Yet, I stayed. My family had already been though the suicide death of my younger brother as well as the deaths in 2000 and I swore I wouldn't put any of them through any more grief.

So, I began a sort of pilgrimage back to joy. It took years and there were many challenges, not the least of which were health problems, a six month struggle with Lyme Disease, and moving to the United States to take on a new job.

In Chester County, Pennsylvania, I met the man who is now my husband and we began a slow courtship and the measured, wary building of a friendship. I was afraid, terribly afraid, to love anyone. Those men I had loved, my father, my brothers, had died. Still, my husband is a patient man, a man used to taking his time and meeting challenges with courage. On the day after our wedding in September of 2005, I was showing my mother and friend around the neighbourhood where I then lived in Pennsylvania and took them into a Whole Foods store and cafe. I loved that place! They had books and medicinal herbs as well as healthy organic foods. I was leaving the store, my guests just ahead of me, when a book in a liquidation basket literally fell into my hands. It was on clearance sale for the price of $3.00. It was called Earth Changes and was written by a woman whom I had read before, Diane Stein. I dug into my pocket and pulled out all that I had, which was $3.00. I bought the book.

When I had finished devouring that book from cover to cover, I checked the date on its copyright notice. It had been published quite some time before and was delving into a very timely subject, being the imminent approach of the year 2012. I decided to do something that I had never done before. I decided to search the internet for references to earth changes and to 2012. I used the internet at that time just for email and to buy things from amazon.com. I had heard that if you spent too much time on the internet, you'd get viruses in  your computer, and I had never liked being in front of a screen for too long. I preferred to be out of doors. I was one of those people who came late to really making full use of the internet. Never-the-less, in autumn of 2005, I began to search for more up-to-date information on earth changes and the predictions of events to come in 2012.

There is a lot out there. Most of it, in my opinion, was a bunch of fear-mongering crap. I wanted nothing to do with it. Yet, that book had fallen into my hands from a seemingly secure spot on a clearance rack shelf. There had to be something out there for me to find. So I kept looking. I used my discernment. I've always had a strong and active bullshit detector and it came in very handy.

I came across the name of David Wilcock. Most of what he had to say didn't interest me, but his website led me to another one. This was the website of a non-profit group called L&L Research. The L's were acronyms for Love and Light. A woman was channelling an extra-terrestrial group called Those of Q'uo. It was pretty far out there for me, but something was pulling me toward it. I read a little bit of one of the archived channelling sessions and I was intrigued and somehow answered, somehow at home.

I began to delve into the archived question and answer sessions. They contained something more and more precious to me. It wasn't the words, which quite frankly, were slow, repetitive and only sometimes interesting. It was the perspective of off-world intelligence and more than that, it was the energy behind the words, strongly felt by me every time I sat in front of the computer screen and read from what had been channelled. This group, Those of Q'uo, honour the free will of Earth's humanity so completely that they wouldn't even speak unless it was to answer a question and every answer was offered with the caveat that the listener or the later reader use his or her discernment to take in only what resonated completely with their own sense of truth and relevancy. The energy of honouring and of unconditional love was strongly felt by me and I drank it in. I felt that I had found what my higher self had wanted me to find when that book fell into my hands.

It wasn't really about earth changes. It was indeed about the year 2012, but only as a marker, as a signal to us here on this planet that we are doing something extraordinary now. It is not solely because it is the year 2012 that we are doing this, although our galaxy is very much a part of our transition at this time. It is within us. It is a quickening, a coming to truth, an awakening, a transition to a new age. I was brought into awareness of all of this by the simple fact that on the day after my wedding, a book fell into my hands.

I highly recommend that you sample from the 2005 channelled session archives at the L & L research site. Reading from that site changed me; it changed my energy. And I am so grateful! I don't care if channelled stuff is seen as being wonky in some way. It helped me. It might help you.

More to come in another post.

My Path - Exploring Alternatives

As I came into adulthood the world seemed to open up before me and I began to explore it.

I sensed the vast array of paths before me and chose carefully where I would go. It had to feel right. It had to feel true. I suspect that many of us choose this carefully, especially when we are young.

I followed paths of poetry and philosophy, psychology and music. I followed folklore and the wisdom of country people living simple lives close to the ground, close to Earth's own wisdom and truth.

My passionate desire to be on the land in love was an expression of my great love for the Earth itself, and I followed this path, this devotion, steadily all through the years.

I no longer struggled with the teachings and words of the organized Christian congregations. I chose to explore alternatives.

I was introduced to the ideas and energies of Wiccan reclaiming traditions in the late 1980's, when I was in my late 20's. I liked the free and loving raising of my sights to the divine as conceived by me. Wicca is an anarchic and free-spirited path and this appealed to me very much. I began to explore this path in earnest.

Wiccan practices have only one central principle or rule which must be followed and it is a simple, but profound one that reaches out in every direction and cannot be ignored in its power and its simplicity. As long as it harms no one, do as you will.

I studied this principle for a long time, over many years. I also began to delve deeply into various words that go along with this idea; words like 'freedom,' and phrases like 'free will,' came to occupy my conscious thoughts. I thought for a very long time, and did a great deal of feeling as well, about the word 'love.'

Wiccan practices center on the seasons of the year and the slow progression through the rebirth of spring, into the fullness and accomplishments of summer and autumn and then to the inevitable death and decay of late autumn and winter. The winter solstice marks the great turning point from the descent into endings and loss and letting go, the darkness, mystery and despair of deep winter, to the return of the light and the ascent into new beginnings, new awareness, enlightenment and joy. I explored these deeply meaningful themes over many years and came to a great love for the divinity that exists in the world and in its every mood and season.

Wicca also invites the working of one's own creative will. There is a sense of being able to bring one's vision of what can be into one's awareness with clarity and then releasing this vision out into the world with one's will and love. As long as it harms no one, my will be done. I practiced this working of my will and enjoyed the practice. There was the sense that I do make a difference in the world, just through my choices. I began to gather with a small group of friends and do 'Earth Healing' work, where we would share our visions for a clean environment and peace on this beautiful planet and then send those visions out into the world with joy.

Wiccan tradition focuses on the female principle of the divine. So Goddess replaced the troublesome God of the Christian tradition that I had grown up with and I was able to embrace Her with all of my heart and soul as a much needed balance in the world to the male energy of the Christian God.

Over more than a decade, I called to the Goddess by many names and came to feel and know more and more Her presence. I lived then in the grace of Her love and a wisdom that is older than the world.