Present Perfect Tense

Sometimes, it really is perfect.

I wrote a poem about that sudden realization of the perfection of all things. I experienced it last winter one day and wrote the poem. It broke me open and rained blessing upon blessing into me so that I was changed.

You can find the poem on my 'other' blog: www.hereandnowwithyou.blogspot.ca

Most of the time, however, I am not in that divinely inspired bliss of knowing the perfection of all things. It would be awesome if I was in that, but perhaps I would not be able to be in the world for very long if I sustained that sense of perfection because it is a kind of transcendent bliss.

There is a more quiet and easy to maintain sense of the perfection of all things, however. It is in the heart and the mind. It is a sort of a hum. Whenever the events and experiences of our days jerk us out of that peaceful sense that all is perfect as it is, we can remind ourselves that indeed, it is all perfect. And  ---- boom ----- a quiet boom, there we are. Back in that hum, we proceed.

I don't get vacations in my part time work. So, for 3 years and three months, I did not have a vacation, except for the occasional long weekend. Since I don't work full time, it didn't seem so bad, but at one point I really wanted a vacation! And of course, I created one for myself. I ended up with almost three full weeks of vacation and didn't even have to worry about being paid while I was not working.

I wanted to enjoy the free time that was suddenly available to me. So, I went out one day on a long scenic drive. It was Autumn and the sky was graced with clouds and sunlight. It was one of those dancing days, of sun sparkles and purple grey clouds against sky blue sky. But I was so intent on having it be perfect that it wasn't.

I went outside of my knowing that perfection of all things because I was wanting it to be perfect instead of knowing it as perfect.

I came home disappointed.

I have set out - in a rush - to run errands in the village and on the way there suddenly realized the infinite perfection of it all. It is not that we have to be 'on vacation,' or at our complete and total leisure that we suddenly see the beauty and perfection of our world, our lives, ourselves. It happens in the instant that we stop wanting it to be in any way different than it is right now.

You Are Supported

I was walking in the peaceful morning one day, not so long ago now, when I suddenly heard a voice within me say, "Allow yourself to be supported." And I promptly burst into tears.

When we have an emotional response to something that seemingly would NOT normally provoke such a response, we can be very sure that we have touched upon something that lies deep within us and seeks release. And since we all want to be clear and free and joyous, this opportunity to allow release should not go unfulfilled.

So that morning, as I walked, overcome with my emotional response to that very simple statement, I dug down into my reaction. I had not felt that I could be supported. I had not felt understood. I had not, in fact, felt that I even belonged on this planet. I had felt - not abandoned willfully - but left to fend for myself and I had felt that this fending for myself was terribly terribly difficult and distressful. That explained my reaction to the message that came from deep within me. "Allow yourself to be supported."

So, I breathed into the emotions and released them slowly. I breathed deeply again and again. I repeated that simple suggestion, invitation really. "Allow yourself to be supported."

Over the past months, since that day, I have been supported in ways that I could not have foreseen. Money flows to me effortlessly. I have so much money compared to what I used to have and it has involved no extra effort on my part, nor any change in my work. I received a three week paid vacation from my part-time job (part-time jobs don't usually give any paid vacation) courtesy of the United States Government when they shut down last October. My days are flowing and easy and relaxed. I am truly supported. I feel it. It feels so incredibly good! I feel supported. I don't have to know how or why. I just am. I just am completely safe, supported and provided for.

And I just wanted to share with you how good it feels to be supported. We have to allow ourselves to be supported. We have to release any block that lies within us to being supported. And we have to realize that being supported does not mean being dependent upon or beholden to. It does not mean that we are not free. We are supported by the world itself, by the Universe, by God. We are supported in our freedom, our creativity, our joy, our process of emotional release and increasing clarity. We are supported in all that we are and all that we choose to be. This support is frankly magical. It feels like the love of God at work in my life.

So I invite you to allow yourself to be supported. I invite you to realize that you are supported and if you already know this and feel this, then just bask in it and flow gratitude and acknowledgement of your blessedness out from you to share with the world.

Connecting to your Own Guidance

We all have wisdom within us. I love to look for the wisdom in the people around me, because invariably I see it. And it is so lovely to behold!

Often, there is uncertainty surrounding the inner wisdom that keeps it from coming through clearly.

When I connect with my own guidance, my own knowing, my own wisdom, I almost always experience great success. I ask a question to which I do not 'know' the answer with my mind's knowing. I simply ask the question and then sit quietly for a moment. The knowing comes through as a quiet voice from within me, explaining and providing the answer to my question.

In spite of the success and clarity that I have experienced, as I have accessed my own knowing over the past months, there is still a lot of resistance within me, contemplating 'getting it wrong' and 'being mistaken.'

My advice to myself is the same advice I will give to you: Breathe and do it anyway.

Ask the question. Listen quietly for the answer. Trust what comes. Rest. Repeat.

Practice accessing your own wisdom to become more and more aware of the exquisitely personalized guidance that exists within you. It is timely, relevant, sensitive to all that you are, aware of the complexities of your situation and loves you beyond all reckoning.

Life as Project

When I worked as a teacher and co-director in an alternative school, a school of child-centered education, holistic and organic, we used learning projects as the basis of our pedagogy.

The idea of projects appealed greatly to me and I began to see the various fields of endeavour of my life as projects.

The thing that I really like about a project is that is is an ongoing experiment. It is a process of trying things out because they are interesting. It is not a 'have to.' It is done for the sake of doing it.

So, in the context of a project, there is no success or failure as we usually define these. There is learning. As part of my vast project of creating a garden on these ten acres where I live, I planted some hollyhock seeds that I bought from a woman on Etsy. I could have purchased hollyhock plants at the plant nursery, but I prefer the single bloom heirloom varieties and in the plant nurseries, all they offer are the double bloom modern hybrids. I planted 24 seeds and 3 tiny little plants emerged. 3 out of 24 doesn't seem like a very good outcome, but I have learned from this experience. I planted the seeds a bit too deep into the soil. I'll know to do it differently next time.

And so it is with all projects. There is development of the project. There is learning and becoming. There is growth and development. The project has a beginning and it may eventually come to an ending of sorts as well. But it is more likely to be an organic part of the whole that you are. There is change, shift, adjustment and redeployment. The flow continues.

I have come to see all that I undertake as a series of projects. I have so many projects now! And all of them enrich my life. Each of them adds to my experience of the world.

In a very real way, my whole life is a project.

Let it Take Me Where it Will

I let go and let the divine I AM take me where it will. This is surrender of small self and of ego to the larger Self that I AM.

And it is not done by some act of will. It is a surrender because I know that only this will take me to where I am true to myself as I am now.

The practice is non-attachment and allowing things and experiences to fall away from me, allowing experiences to be what they are and then fall away. Allowing energies to slip away effortlessly, to clear out, to ground out energies that are not mine. The practice is to be in non-judgment and in compassion and then to leave that experience, whatever it is, and to move on easily and completely to the next one.

I do not say that this is always easy, but this is the way forward for me now.