Regrets Released

I recorded a song, slow and filled with feeling. It matches the mood and feel of the song that I sang on the land just a few days ago.

Here is the link to that song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gs6YeryP0uc&feature=plcp

I am pleased with it because it truly represents the way that I sing to the land these days.

A Heaven of Colour and Sound

Day before yesterday, I sat on the autumn-hued hillside looking out at the bare branches of the hickory and maples, the deep green of the hemlocks and the copper tatters of beech leaves still holding on. One young beech had brilliant yellow leaves clinging inspite of the wind that had me drawing my collar up.

I was facing Mount Pinnacle, seen through the branches and across the valley. It looks like the breast of a young woman lying on her back. It is very graceful and soft and its colour was purple-blue.

I started to tone. This was not the sounding that I have been doing, but a song to the moment, to the scene. It was incredibly melancholy and slow. There was a sense of quiet release to it. I decided to call it 'Regrets Released.' I would have liked somehow to record the song as I toned it there on the hillside.

I will try to somehow recreate it this coming weekend with a microphone and digital recorder in the house.

That same day, I toned very differently over by the mountain stream. The water was black and silver and the mosses glowed green on the dark rocks, wet from the spraying stream water as it rushed over and down. As I toned, chickadees came in close and sang along.

I am living in this Heaven of colour and sound.

Feeling Into the Truth

The days here in southern Quebec are getting shorter. My dawn walk must be postponed until almost seven o'clock now because the darkness lingers. The mornings are often cold and wet so that I am reluctant to leave the light and warmth of the house. Still, I call my neighbour on the other side of the ridge and we agree to meet out there, in the chill and the dim light. We encourage each other.

 It was earlier this year, when the sun was still bright and warm in the mornings, that I made a decision that changed me deeply.

I decided to always be in the truth of myself, no matter what that truth was. I decided to ground myself in the truth of myself in every moment.

So, if I am frustrated, then I accept that. If I am craving a cigarette after quitting smoking ten years ago!!!! Then I accept that also. If I am filled with sadness because I find myself still longing for things that I do not have, then that is my truth in the moment and I accept that as well.

From this acceptance of my truth, this acceptance of what I am feeling in every moment, I am free. I am no longer trying to avoid the truth about myself. I am no longer in denial, resistance, or struggle against my situation and my feelings about my situation.

It doesn't matter what I am experiencing in the moment, because it will be accepted by me. Nothing can shake that solid foundation, which is the courage and the clarity to accept my experience in every moment.

I feel whatever I am feeling. I am centered and grounded in the truth of my being and that is a solid place on which to stand.

I practice acceptance, appreciation, unconditional love, non-judgement, non-resistance, trust, peace, enjoyment and gratitude.

Whenever I stray now, into resistance of my own truth in the moment, I can feel it, like poison in my veins, like lies poured into my soul, like injury to my very core. I don't stay there for very long, I can assure you.

So, even though the days are darkened and the winds are cold, I surrender into every moment of every day and I find the days good!

I vow right here and right now that I will always embrace my own truth in the moment, the whole truth of my being, my feeling and my knowing. This is a safe space for me. It might seem like it would be the opposite, but this is a safe space.

Which Comes First?

Do I choose to have a good day and so have the experience that my day is pleasant for me?

Or do I experience pleasure and thusly conclude that I am having a good day?

Today, a Sunday, the sky is grey and the rain is falling steadily. I could easily feel discouraged or disappointed by this. Yet, I have chosen to accept what life brings to me and to find the peaceful core of every moment. So, in the dim morning light as the cold rain falls, I think about busying myself in my kitchen, preparing foods for the days to come and warming my home at the same time.

We experience the world around us as a reflection of our vibration, not the other way around. We experience happiness because we choose happiness as our way of being, our frequency of being. It is like tuning ourselves to a particular radio station. We are tuning ourselves to the 'radio station' called happiness, or contentment. And everything that we experience, if we accept it as it is, then becomes our accepting and happy experience of the world.

It is easy to fall back into discontentment and dismay. All we have to do is to be in resistance to something that we are experiencing. In this way, we are saying, "No. I do not accept this situation, feeling or experience." We separate ourselves, in this way, from the divine flow of being and becoming that surrounds us, that lives within us. We become separated, alienated and discontented.

Therefore, acceptance and allowance of all things are the way forward if we wish to experience peace, joy, happiness and the feeling of being part of life's divine and graceful flow.

What You Are to Me

This morning, I realized how much I love to be doing what I am doing, helping others as best I can, being the self I have seen in my most compassionate moments.

I also saw within me what a beautiful tangle I am.

And you are also a beautiful tangle to me.

And I have fallen in love, this morning, with the world and all of its tangles. Once again, I have fallen in love.

All of Your Needs Are Met

Just breathe into that truth for a moment.

We tend to place ourselves in a world where that is decidedly NOT the reality. Yet the world in which we place ourselves is of our own making.

In truth, all of your needs are met.

Where you experience hardship or lack, this is serving you in some way. It is not that you should enjoy it, or that it is easy. It is that the difficulty and the struggle are serving you.

And you are provided for in that difficulty and in that struggle. All that you need to accomplish the realization that you are seeking is there.

This is something that needs to be felt, rather than thought. This is something that needs to be breathed into the body and then allowed to find itself there.

All of your needs are met. You always are exactly where you should be.

You are safe, even as you continue to challenge yourself to realize more and more of the beautiful truth of yourself, the height and breadth and depth of yourself, you are safe. You are provisioned and provided for. The ground beneath your metaphoric feet is steady, even when it appears to be otherwise.

Feel it and breathe. Then go on into the myriad tasks that await you in your busy and challenging life knowing that you are supported by the very Earth upon which you stand.

A New Level of Love for Self

In the past, I have loved my mind, my soul, my heart, my emotions, my process and all of my experiences - the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

I have loved my skin and my muscles too.

Sitting in my comfortable chair the other evening, calm and restful, I suddenly perceived my internal organs.

I began at the base of my torso and could perceive with my mind's eye, very clearly, the organs situated there. I loved them completely, delightedly, passionately and compassionately.

Then, I moved upward and perceived the viscera of my digestive system and felt a huge love for them.

And on it went, up through my lungs and heart, my brain and the whole system of ears, nose, sinuses and throat that processes air, scent and sound.

Suddenly, I was intensely aware of my bones, my skeletal structure, almost as if I were a medically trained professional and could see my body as a series of systems, intricate, complex and perfectly designed as my physical vessel through time and space. The love and joy were total within me and were delightedly spreading through my body, not just at the level of my skin and muscles, as before, but deep into my viscera.

And the level of self-love that now permeates even my liver, my kidneys, my bowels and my bladder feels miraculous to me. This is a whole new level of self-love.

The peace and trust within me are complete, it seems.

Life is easy, joyful and calm.

A New Level of Trust

Throughout all of the interactions and situations of this day, I dwell in a new level of trust, a level which has come into me sweetly and is resonant and consistent, and enduring… (This is the wrong word as it connotates suffering and struggle… long lasting is the sense of it.)

This new trust is not just that nothing terrible or bad will come to me, but that the exquisite perfection of my highest good and the highest good of all is unfolding within my experience in a grace so sweet and serendipitous and melodic that I find myself weeping just to express my gratitude and appreciation for it.