What a roller coaster ride of a week this has been. Last night I felt the new energies washing over this planet like waves of golden light. They admit of nought but truth; they demand of us that we live in our integrity.
Our moments string light points one from another across our being in the world and all of our moments are receiving this new energy as flashes of imperative.
I'm awash in all of this and cannot write long this morning. But before I sign out for the weekend, I want to say that I am feeling a profound kinship with all of the lightworkers and spirit-truth seekers who access this blog, as well as those who don't. We are in this together and together we will come through this transition. It is intense. So are we.
If I feel able, I may write again later today, or perhaps tomorrow. If not, I'll see you on the other side of the transition to a new year.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Moving Through
Well, the minor annoyance of an internet connection that was not working properly turned into a nightmare of not being able to.... I barely managed to get my blog post out to you yesterday. The day's web work degraded into a sort of nightmare of can't-be-done and I'm-stymied. When the work day was over, I went out for some much needed fresh air and walked and walked and walked. And as I walked, I asked myself what I was feeling. And the feelings came. Oh, yes! Those feelings came.
Feelings of anxiety, of despair and helplessness, poured through me like a downpour of sour spurned soup. Feelings of dread of the next day's struggle reminded me of a time in my life when that was pretty much the way of it every single evening, every single morning. I lived in almost constant anxiety and dread of what was to come. Phew!
So last night I sat with it. I sat and felt it. It filled my body, filled every cell. It's still there this morning, mere remnants now. I felt it and worked it through me. It's what needs be done when we get that overwhelming wash of feelings. Whatever it is that is confronting you, and I suspect that there is something confronting you right about now, you can do as I did; let those feeling move through you, face them and feel them. Give yourself the time and space to do this.
What I do is to ask questions of myself. When did this feeling fill me? What surrounded me at that time? Where did this feeling arise from? Is it mine? Is it someone else's? And I answer these questions.
And what tends to happen is that a part of me, an aspect of me, if you want to use that terminology, presents itself to me. And when that happens, I am the wise and compassionate Other for that aspect of myself.
There was a time when I felt all of this anxiety on a daily basis. I suffered panic attacks and nightmares. I dreaded facing the world every morning. There was a woman in her thirties and early forties who felt that way. Her name, like mine, was Lu. I find her and I stand with her. I stand in compassion with that Lu. Last night I told that terrified Lu that she was allowed to feel fear, that it didn't make her any less than anyone else. I told her that she could feel it for as long as she needed to feel it. I told her that she could stay with me during that time, that I would not reject her for her fears. I told her that she was not alone and would not be alone; I was with her and would stay with her. Why did I say all of this? Because the first thing that we say to someone who is afraid is, "Don't be afraid." We deny them their feeling. We send them, inadvertently, the message that unless they stop feeling that way, we might not accept them. I wanted her to know that she is allowed any and all feeling. I wanted her to know that I can and will stand that feeling, feel it to the fullest, and remain with it and remain with her until the feeling is past and done. Then together we will move on.
"But that Lu is gone," you might say. No, she is not. She lives on inside of me, in my sense of self and world. She informs my present. She is my past unresolved, in need of healing, in need of release through allowance, acceptance, unconditional love and compassion. And it is I who give these to her. For who else could possibly do so? And it is myself whom I am saving from the pain and fear of standing it all alone. My future is my past healed. My Now is my past resolved, released, set free.
Before my web browser totally conked out yesterday, I was able to scan a few signs of the times, take a reading on the energies of these days. I think that we are being asked to do this work now, of seeing all that there is to see within us, realizing our darkest, deepest secrets of self and bringing them into the light of our understanding and compassion. And if I can do this work, I know that you can do it also.
I think it's time for this now. It certainly is for me! And as scary and difficult as it is, it is necessary work. It is honourable work. It is work that takes courage and heart-felt love of self.
You can do this.
I can do this.
Let's do this.
On the other side of this struggle to come to terms with all of who we are there is a peace and a love of self and world that is literally heaven on Earth.
Oh! Remember a few posts back, how I wrote of that incredible peace? That peace is waiting for us. We are so close now. We just need to make sure, absolutely sure, that our totality of self is in its wholeness within that peace. Nothing that we are or have ever been can be left behind. And our loving soul-selves help us to ensure this inclusion of All that we are. Our electronic devices, our cars, our spouses and children and co-workers .... they are all helping to ensure that we see into all the shadowy corners and pick up all of our discarded parts and pieces.
Don't forget to breathe.
Feelings of anxiety, of despair and helplessness, poured through me like a downpour of sour spurned soup. Feelings of dread of the next day's struggle reminded me of a time in my life when that was pretty much the way of it every single evening, every single morning. I lived in almost constant anxiety and dread of what was to come. Phew!
So last night I sat with it. I sat and felt it. It filled my body, filled every cell. It's still there this morning, mere remnants now. I felt it and worked it through me. It's what needs be done when we get that overwhelming wash of feelings. Whatever it is that is confronting you, and I suspect that there is something confronting you right about now, you can do as I did; let those feeling move through you, face them and feel them. Give yourself the time and space to do this.
What I do is to ask questions of myself. When did this feeling fill me? What surrounded me at that time? Where did this feeling arise from? Is it mine? Is it someone else's? And I answer these questions.
And what tends to happen is that a part of me, an aspect of me, if you want to use that terminology, presents itself to me. And when that happens, I am the wise and compassionate Other for that aspect of myself.
There was a time when I felt all of this anxiety on a daily basis. I suffered panic attacks and nightmares. I dreaded facing the world every morning. There was a woman in her thirties and early forties who felt that way. Her name, like mine, was Lu. I find her and I stand with her. I stand in compassion with that Lu. Last night I told that terrified Lu that she was allowed to feel fear, that it didn't make her any less than anyone else. I told her that she could feel it for as long as she needed to feel it. I told her that she could stay with me during that time, that I would not reject her for her fears. I told her that she was not alone and would not be alone; I was with her and would stay with her. Why did I say all of this? Because the first thing that we say to someone who is afraid is, "Don't be afraid." We deny them their feeling. We send them, inadvertently, the message that unless they stop feeling that way, we might not accept them. I wanted her to know that she is allowed any and all feeling. I wanted her to know that I can and will stand that feeling, feel it to the fullest, and remain with it and remain with her until the feeling is past and done. Then together we will move on.
"But that Lu is gone," you might say. No, she is not. She lives on inside of me, in my sense of self and world. She informs my present. She is my past unresolved, in need of healing, in need of release through allowance, acceptance, unconditional love and compassion. And it is I who give these to her. For who else could possibly do so? And it is myself whom I am saving from the pain and fear of standing it all alone. My future is my past healed. My Now is my past resolved, released, set free.
Before my web browser totally conked out yesterday, I was able to scan a few signs of the times, take a reading on the energies of these days. I think that we are being asked to do this work now, of seeing all that there is to see within us, realizing our darkest, deepest secrets of self and bringing them into the light of our understanding and compassion. And if I can do this work, I know that you can do it also.
I think it's time for this now. It certainly is for me! And as scary and difficult as it is, it is necessary work. It is honourable work. It is work that takes courage and heart-felt love of self.
You can do this.
I can do this.
Let's do this.
On the other side of this struggle to come to terms with all of who we are there is a peace and a love of self and world that is literally heaven on Earth.
Oh! Remember a few posts back, how I wrote of that incredible peace? That peace is waiting for us. We are so close now. We just need to make sure, absolutely sure, that our totality of self is in its wholeness within that peace. Nothing that we are or have ever been can be left behind. And our loving soul-selves help us to ensure this inclusion of All that we are. Our electronic devices, our cars, our spouses and children and co-workers .... they are all helping to ensure that we see into all the shadowy corners and pick up all of our discarded parts and pieces.
Don't forget to breathe.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Choosing Our Reality
Oooomph!
I experienced a very frustrating day yesterday. My web browser was extremely slow when it worked at all, and since I work from home on the web, I felt obligated to continue to deal with the slowness and inconsistency of its performance and service. Finally, the work day was finished, and my husband and I set out on a necessary shopping expedition; neither of us enjoy shopping at all. For me it is the experience in the shop that I find overwhelming - all of those choices, all of those energies. For my husband, it is the drive to and from the shop that fills him with frustration - all of those other drivers, so unpredictable and inexplicable and in his way!
Eventually, we were at my sister's house to pick up a very heavy load (in all senses of the phrase) of old photo albums that my deceased father had put together over many years. I have taken on the task of going through them to look for any photographs that we might decide to preserve. The rest of them will be discarded, which in itself is a bit sad - all of those moments, which my father sought to capture for us, for his non-existent grandchildren, for a posterity that frankly doesn't much care.
My sister and I do not get along these days - not even a little bit. I'm trying to choose my behaviour with her carefully, but no matter what choice I make with regards to how I will be when I am around her, I cannot control how she will be when she is around me. I have decided to remove myself from her immediate vicinity as much as possible. I did leave her house rather hastily yesterday, after expressions of incomprehension and frustration were exchanged. Sigh.
All of yesterday's frustrations left me with a bad feeling in my body and in my heart center. My husband and I were both feeling a bit fed up and hungry when we arrived home. We began to snap at each other. It seems almost inevitable now that we would have done so. I went off to be by myself quite quickly. I didn't want to be in that energy. And after a few moments of quiet reflection I realized what the day's experiences had brought to me. I wasn't angry with my husband. I had thought that I was - I certainly have had enough experience being angry with him that I could have slipped into it pretty easily - mostly through habit rather than anything else. But no, I wasn't angry with him. I just didn't want to be in that energy, in that experience. So I removed myself with as little drama as possible. My husband is a wise and balanced man; he didn't create any more drama than I did. But I realized that the whole day had been asking of me that I consciously choose my experiences, my reality.
The web browser wasn't working well at all, but interestingly, it didn't actually impact my ability to get my work done. Considering that I work remotely and use the web and telephone extensively, it's notable that I was able to finish the day's work without my employer feeling at all put out by my computer's inconsistent service. I wanted to surf the web in my free moments - I have a lot of free moments during the day when I have to be present and available for that incoming phone call, but am free to do as I choose until it comes. Usually I amuse and inform myself by surfing various web sites and reading various posts and so on. Yesterday I couldn't do that. Whenever I tried to do that, I met with a frustrating inability to do so. When I turned away from the frustration, to other things, to a lovely long exercise session, to a leisurely lunch with my husband in the brilliant sunshine pouring through our big south-facing windows, I thoroughly enjoyed the day. Yet I kept going back to the web browser that wouldn't work, experiencing intense frustration with it, and then turning away in despair of it. I wasn't trusting. I wasn't seeing and accepting my experience and choosing a better one; I was wallowing in and trying to force my way through an experience that did not hold any enjoyment for me. I didn't have to do that. I could have made a different choice in the moment.
We get to choose. We get to choose where we will place our focus, our energies and our consciousness. We often run through our moments, our days, in old patterns of duty and obligation, habit and routine, that entrap us in situations and energies that frustrate, displease and annoy us. It is of great value to us to look calmly, courageously and honestly at our reactions to these - why do they frustrate, displease and annoy? Why do I not get on well with my sister these days? And I choose to find the answer to that question, to delve until I have realized that truth of my feelings about spending time with her (I feel that it has something to do with feeling unseen as I am now, rather seen as I was to her many years ago, the younger sister struggling to get along in a rather alienating world). Yet, it is also true that I can choose to place myself in a reality that suits me in the moment. We don't have to struggle with a reality that does not suit our energy or our preferences.
We get to choose. We get to choose our reality.
We don't have to do it with high drama, guilt-trips or ultimatums. We just place ourselves where we choose to be and define the terms under which we will be there.
For example, I choose to walk today, even though the roads will be snow covered and slippery. I have made my choice and will follow it through on my terms - wearing good walking shoes and using my walking poles for extra stability. I'm looking forward to it, knowing what the conditions will be underfoot. I accept them. Yet I could as easily choose to stay indoors today, or to go skiing instead of walking. I get to choose.
Another example: I could easily feel obligated to go through all of the photographs - hundreds and hundreds of them - that my husband has kindly unloaded from the trunk of the car and brought into the house. I choose to go through those photographs, yet I might change my mind as I work through them; I might choose not to go through them all. Any obligation that I might feel is self-imposed, and this is always true. We are not tied to anything, trapped by anything, obligated in any way, but that we ourselves have created the tie, the entrapment, the obligation. We are free to choose our reality. That's actually pretty wonderful. I think I'll repeat myself....
We are free to choose our reality.
Speaking for myself only, I believe that I will exercise that freedom more and more consciously in the days to come.
I experienced a very frustrating day yesterday. My web browser was extremely slow when it worked at all, and since I work from home on the web, I felt obligated to continue to deal with the slowness and inconsistency of its performance and service. Finally, the work day was finished, and my husband and I set out on a necessary shopping expedition; neither of us enjoy shopping at all. For me it is the experience in the shop that I find overwhelming - all of those choices, all of those energies. For my husband, it is the drive to and from the shop that fills him with frustration - all of those other drivers, so unpredictable and inexplicable and in his way!
Eventually, we were at my sister's house to pick up a very heavy load (in all senses of the phrase) of old photo albums that my deceased father had put together over many years. I have taken on the task of going through them to look for any photographs that we might decide to preserve. The rest of them will be discarded, which in itself is a bit sad - all of those moments, which my father sought to capture for us, for his non-existent grandchildren, for a posterity that frankly doesn't much care.
My sister and I do not get along these days - not even a little bit. I'm trying to choose my behaviour with her carefully, but no matter what choice I make with regards to how I will be when I am around her, I cannot control how she will be when she is around me. I have decided to remove myself from her immediate vicinity as much as possible. I did leave her house rather hastily yesterday, after expressions of incomprehension and frustration were exchanged. Sigh.
All of yesterday's frustrations left me with a bad feeling in my body and in my heart center. My husband and I were both feeling a bit fed up and hungry when we arrived home. We began to snap at each other. It seems almost inevitable now that we would have done so. I went off to be by myself quite quickly. I didn't want to be in that energy. And after a few moments of quiet reflection I realized what the day's experiences had brought to me. I wasn't angry with my husband. I had thought that I was - I certainly have had enough experience being angry with him that I could have slipped into it pretty easily - mostly through habit rather than anything else. But no, I wasn't angry with him. I just didn't want to be in that energy, in that experience. So I removed myself with as little drama as possible. My husband is a wise and balanced man; he didn't create any more drama than I did. But I realized that the whole day had been asking of me that I consciously choose my experiences, my reality.
The web browser wasn't working well at all, but interestingly, it didn't actually impact my ability to get my work done. Considering that I work remotely and use the web and telephone extensively, it's notable that I was able to finish the day's work without my employer feeling at all put out by my computer's inconsistent service. I wanted to surf the web in my free moments - I have a lot of free moments during the day when I have to be present and available for that incoming phone call, but am free to do as I choose until it comes. Usually I amuse and inform myself by surfing various web sites and reading various posts and so on. Yesterday I couldn't do that. Whenever I tried to do that, I met with a frustrating inability to do so. When I turned away from the frustration, to other things, to a lovely long exercise session, to a leisurely lunch with my husband in the brilliant sunshine pouring through our big south-facing windows, I thoroughly enjoyed the day. Yet I kept going back to the web browser that wouldn't work, experiencing intense frustration with it, and then turning away in despair of it. I wasn't trusting. I wasn't seeing and accepting my experience and choosing a better one; I was wallowing in and trying to force my way through an experience that did not hold any enjoyment for me. I didn't have to do that. I could have made a different choice in the moment.
We get to choose. We get to choose where we will place our focus, our energies and our consciousness. We often run through our moments, our days, in old patterns of duty and obligation, habit and routine, that entrap us in situations and energies that frustrate, displease and annoy us. It is of great value to us to look calmly, courageously and honestly at our reactions to these - why do they frustrate, displease and annoy? Why do I not get on well with my sister these days? And I choose to find the answer to that question, to delve until I have realized that truth of my feelings about spending time with her (I feel that it has something to do with feeling unseen as I am now, rather seen as I was to her many years ago, the younger sister struggling to get along in a rather alienating world). Yet, it is also true that I can choose to place myself in a reality that suits me in the moment. We don't have to struggle with a reality that does not suit our energy or our preferences.
We get to choose. We get to choose our reality.
We don't have to do it with high drama, guilt-trips or ultimatums. We just place ourselves where we choose to be and define the terms under which we will be there.
For example, I choose to walk today, even though the roads will be snow covered and slippery. I have made my choice and will follow it through on my terms - wearing good walking shoes and using my walking poles for extra stability. I'm looking forward to it, knowing what the conditions will be underfoot. I accept them. Yet I could as easily choose to stay indoors today, or to go skiing instead of walking. I get to choose.
Another example: I could easily feel obligated to go through all of the photographs - hundreds and hundreds of them - that my husband has kindly unloaded from the trunk of the car and brought into the house. I choose to go through those photographs, yet I might change my mind as I work through them; I might choose not to go through them all. Any obligation that I might feel is self-imposed, and this is always true. We are not tied to anything, trapped by anything, obligated in any way, but that we ourselves have created the tie, the entrapment, the obligation. We are free to choose our reality. That's actually pretty wonderful. I think I'll repeat myself....
We are free to choose our reality.
Speaking for myself only, I believe that I will exercise that freedom more and more consciously in the days to come.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
What's Important to You?
Another question to help us along as we prepare ourselves for the new year, for the momentous 2011. I'm quite sure that you feel it coming as I do.
{Smile}
Yesterday's post mentioned new year's resolutions. Perhaps that can be a bit of theme for us this week. New year's resolutions - what is it that we choose? What is important to us?
I can tell you that my physicality means less and less to me, in terms of how others see me when they look in my direction. So eating less of life's sweetness is not going to be one of my new year's resolutions. Exercising more strenuously is not going to be one either.
I can tell you that my energetic vibration - what I AM in the Now - means more and more to me. So, I resolve to be the Wholeness of what I AM in the world. I resolve to be in my truth in the moment. I resolve to ground myself into the totality of All that Is in any moment. I resolve to vibrate at the highest level, of love, of acceptance, of integrity, of compassion - the highest level of which I am capable.
.... How do we move toward that?
Imagine, instead of seeing a weight loss tip on the cover of every month's magazine offering at the supermarket checkout, we saw a tip about being more fully in our truth, more fully in a vibration of love and acceptance. HA! Wouldn't that be something! A world transformed, I'd venture to say.... A world transformed.
Here are my tips for being true to what is important to you as you progress through 2011:
Spend time with what is important to you.
Avoid spending time with things that matter not to you, things which pull you from your truth.
When you find yourself out of balance, out of your center, take the time to ground, to breathe and to center yourself.
When you are with other people, especially those who are not of like heart, stay in your truth and your center. Say little. Hear and feel and practice compassion, which makes no judgment, but only sees and feels with the other in complete acceptance.
Give to others when it is in you to give, when it comes from the heart of you with love. Otherwise, refrain from giving; they have all that they need, as do you.
Of all the energies swirling 'round you in the days and weeks and months to come, identify which are yours to delve into and process, accept and love. Identify which are not yours and can therefore be let go, released.
Know your soul's truth. Listen to your soul. Listen to the voice within you that speaks truth.
Get a feel for the various vibrations that you hold within you. Start to notice when your energy vibration resonates with your soul-self, your deepest, highest, most exalted state of consciousness and being in the world. Turn and tune to that vibration; honour it; court it; expand it. Notice what encourages it to hum within you; notice what drives it out and replaces it with something far less harmonious to your All-Being-Self. Choose accordingly.
Phew! If I take my own advice, which I fully intend to do, I'm going to be busy this year!
{Smile}
Yesterday's post mentioned new year's resolutions. Perhaps that can be a bit of theme for us this week. New year's resolutions - what is it that we choose? What is important to us?
I can tell you that my physicality means less and less to me, in terms of how others see me when they look in my direction. So eating less of life's sweetness is not going to be one of my new year's resolutions. Exercising more strenuously is not going to be one either.
I can tell you that my energetic vibration - what I AM in the Now - means more and more to me. So, I resolve to be the Wholeness of what I AM in the world. I resolve to be in my truth in the moment. I resolve to ground myself into the totality of All that Is in any moment. I resolve to vibrate at the highest level, of love, of acceptance, of integrity, of compassion - the highest level of which I am capable.
.... How do we move toward that?
Imagine, instead of seeing a weight loss tip on the cover of every month's magazine offering at the supermarket checkout, we saw a tip about being more fully in our truth, more fully in a vibration of love and acceptance. HA! Wouldn't that be something! A world transformed, I'd venture to say.... A world transformed.
Here are my tips for being true to what is important to you as you progress through 2011:
Spend time with what is important to you.
Avoid spending time with things that matter not to you, things which pull you from your truth.
When you find yourself out of balance, out of your center, take the time to ground, to breathe and to center yourself.
When you are with other people, especially those who are not of like heart, stay in your truth and your center. Say little. Hear and feel and practice compassion, which makes no judgment, but only sees and feels with the other in complete acceptance.
Give to others when it is in you to give, when it comes from the heart of you with love. Otherwise, refrain from giving; they have all that they need, as do you.
Of all the energies swirling 'round you in the days and weeks and months to come, identify which are yours to delve into and process, accept and love. Identify which are not yours and can therefore be let go, released.
Know your soul's truth. Listen to your soul. Listen to the voice within you that speaks truth.
Get a feel for the various vibrations that you hold within you. Start to notice when your energy vibration resonates with your soul-self, your deepest, highest, most exalted state of consciousness and being in the world. Turn and tune to that vibration; honour it; court it; expand it. Notice what encourages it to hum within you; notice what drives it out and replaces it with something far less harmonious to your All-Being-Self. Choose accordingly.
Phew! If I take my own advice, which I fully intend to do, I'm going to be busy this year!
Monday, December 27, 2010
For the World
What we are, we are for the World.
It matters, you see. It matters what we are.
As we feel within ourselves, so do we radiate to all the world. There are no borders here. There is no boundary line that marks the point where I begin and you end. We are. And what we are, we are together. What we are, we are for the World, for the ALL.
When I type it onto the screen in front of me like that, I realize how much I matter. Not in some egoistic way, but rather in terms of contribution to the Whole. And when I contemplate that, I want to become the wisest and most loving Lu that I could ever be. And I intend to be that in 2011. Slowly putting together my new year's resolutions, that one is at the top of the list.
I would be an energy of unconditional love so sure and so all-pervasive that it informs the very air that people breathe. I would speak less and radiate more unconditional love. I would use my mind less and my heart more, listen to my mind less and my heart more. I would be all that I know, deep within my heart, that I AM.
Yet within all of this choosing to be of service, choosing to give of the best that I AM to the world around me, I know too that I must always be in my truth, be true to myself and to my being in the world. Only then is the giving true.
If you knew for certain that the energy that fills you always and invariably radiates out to the world around you, how would you change your vibration? Would you change your vibration? And having perhaps chosen to change our vibrations, can we do so. I believe that we can, and quite easily. I believe that we can be whatever we choose to be through our intention and our turning towards and away from. I wrote a song about it.
It matters, you see. It matters what we are.
As we feel within ourselves, so do we radiate to all the world. There are no borders here. There is no boundary line that marks the point where I begin and you end. We are. And what we are, we are together. What we are, we are for the World, for the ALL.
When I type it onto the screen in front of me like that, I realize how much I matter. Not in some egoistic way, but rather in terms of contribution to the Whole. And when I contemplate that, I want to become the wisest and most loving Lu that I could ever be. And I intend to be that in 2011. Slowly putting together my new year's resolutions, that one is at the top of the list.
I would be an energy of unconditional love so sure and so all-pervasive that it informs the very air that people breathe. I would speak less and radiate more unconditional love. I would use my mind less and my heart more, listen to my mind less and my heart more. I would be all that I know, deep within my heart, that I AM.
Yet within all of this choosing to be of service, choosing to give of the best that I AM to the world around me, I know too that I must always be in my truth, be true to myself and to my being in the world. Only then is the giving true.
If you knew for certain that the energy that fills you always and invariably radiates out to the world around you, how would you change your vibration? Would you change your vibration? And having perhaps chosen to change our vibrations, can we do so. I believe that we can, and quite easily. I believe that we can be whatever we choose to be through our intention and our turning towards and away from. I wrote a song about it.
Whatever You Say
Whatever you say you can be, you can be it.
Whatever you say, you can be.
You can follow your heart's desire down the highway.
You can climb to the heights or make a garden below.
You can make a new start if that's what you wanna do.
You can change your whole life in a minute or two.
Whatever you say you can be, you can be it.
Whatever you say, you can be.
You can reach out and help this world that you love.
Clean the ground at your feet and the sky up above.
You can make all the waters clean and pure.
You can heal the disease, you can find them a cure.
Whatever you say you can be, you can be it.
Whatever you say, you can be.
You can touch the dear face of God with your heart.
And make a heaven on Earth just by doing your part.
You can live your whole life with sweet integrity,
Be the person you choose; choose the person you're gonna be.
Whatever you say you can be, you can be it.
Whatever you say, you can be.
I believe that there are no borders between you and me, between this reality that I create and that other reality that you create. That's why it is so difficult to be around people with whom we disagree about how the world is. Their reality comes up hard against our reality and there are all sorts of metaphoric bangs and crashes. What I am affects you, affects this other person, affects the World. And the same is true for you, for what you are.
It matters, you see. It matters what we are. It matters for the world.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Easy Does It
In this busy build-up to the Christmas Day feasting and gift-giving and travelling, it is common to feel overwhelmed.
A few days ago, the only demands on my time, apart from the usual chores and work, were to prepare myself inwardly for the energy influx of the full moon, the lunar eclipse and the winter solstice. My focus was all inward and I purposely left myself time and space to be quiet and introspective, being and feeling.
Now, only a few days later, I feel almost besieged by lists of things to be purchased, baking to be done, the house to be prepared for visitors and all the little worries that come when we receive people, especially elderly people, into our homes.
Well, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I choose the easy way. It involves trust. It is a turning to trust and away from worry. Let it be what it will be. Trust that all is as it should be; that is the natural state of things. All is well. At least three times yesterday, and already once today, I find myself saying the simple word, 'Trust.' It brings me back to allowance of the flow of synchronicity and ease that I know is there in moments of clarity consciousness.
The easy way is to assume that all is well and that all will be well. Do what you choose to do in any given moment and do it with your full attention. Stay in the Now. Know that all of the people around you are responsible for their own feelings and experiences, even the children. Your responsibility does not extend to making sure that everyone you care about has a wonderful Christmas; only they can create for themselves a wonderful Christmas. Your reponsibility is to your own experience of what Is. You can create a wonderful Christmas for yourself and in doing so, you radiate that ease and potential for joy to those around you.
Breathing is immediately and extremely beneficial. It doesn't cost anything either. It will calm you and bring you back to center, which is a lovely place to be. I find myself listening to my thoughts, which are somewhat worrying, critical and judgemental. Suddenly, taking a deep breath, I realize that I really don't want to be immersed in such thoughts. Another deep breath centers me in the calm, trusting peace that I choose and brings me out of those thoughts, out of the mind and into the heart, where all is well.
I offer you one last suggestion, one which I intend to follow over the next few days. Get out. Go outside. Walk in the lowering light of the season, unless you happen to be in the southern hemisphere, or the tropics. Walk in the fresh air and the quiet of the evening or morning. Walk surrounded by the natural world which, just by the way, loves you unconditionally. Breathe deeply of the fresh air. Remind yourself of the wisdom of trusting and flowing with the easy energies of the times in which we live. Trust and center yourself in your heart space, in your own unconditional love. Center yourself in a trust that allows that perfect peace to filter through all of your busy-ness and wash over you. Radiate that peace, which is radiated back to you by the very ground upon which you tred.
By the time you go back inside, to the many tasks which await you, you will be able to take on those tasks with the love through which they were concieved. For do we not take on all of this busy-ness simply because we love? And would we, truly, have it any other way?
Know that you, filled with love, extend that love outward, radiate love and peace, trust and ease as you embody these. Know that you are perfect in your being and your doing. Know that you are loved as you love.
Easy does it, and may the joys of the season be yours.
A few days ago, the only demands on my time, apart from the usual chores and work, were to prepare myself inwardly for the energy influx of the full moon, the lunar eclipse and the winter solstice. My focus was all inward and I purposely left myself time and space to be quiet and introspective, being and feeling.
Now, only a few days later, I feel almost besieged by lists of things to be purchased, baking to be done, the house to be prepared for visitors and all the little worries that come when we receive people, especially elderly people, into our homes.
Well, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I choose the easy way. It involves trust. It is a turning to trust and away from worry. Let it be what it will be. Trust that all is as it should be; that is the natural state of things. All is well. At least three times yesterday, and already once today, I find myself saying the simple word, 'Trust.' It brings me back to allowance of the flow of synchronicity and ease that I know is there in moments of clarity consciousness.
The easy way is to assume that all is well and that all will be well. Do what you choose to do in any given moment and do it with your full attention. Stay in the Now. Know that all of the people around you are responsible for their own feelings and experiences, even the children. Your responsibility does not extend to making sure that everyone you care about has a wonderful Christmas; only they can create for themselves a wonderful Christmas. Your reponsibility is to your own experience of what Is. You can create a wonderful Christmas for yourself and in doing so, you radiate that ease and potential for joy to those around you.
Breathing is immediately and extremely beneficial. It doesn't cost anything either. It will calm you and bring you back to center, which is a lovely place to be. I find myself listening to my thoughts, which are somewhat worrying, critical and judgemental. Suddenly, taking a deep breath, I realize that I really don't want to be immersed in such thoughts. Another deep breath centers me in the calm, trusting peace that I choose and brings me out of those thoughts, out of the mind and into the heart, where all is well.
I offer you one last suggestion, one which I intend to follow over the next few days. Get out. Go outside. Walk in the lowering light of the season, unless you happen to be in the southern hemisphere, or the tropics. Walk in the fresh air and the quiet of the evening or morning. Walk surrounded by the natural world which, just by the way, loves you unconditionally. Breathe deeply of the fresh air. Remind yourself of the wisdom of trusting and flowing with the easy energies of the times in which we live. Trust and center yourself in your heart space, in your own unconditional love. Center yourself in a trust that allows that perfect peace to filter through all of your busy-ness and wash over you. Radiate that peace, which is radiated back to you by the very ground upon which you tred.
By the time you go back inside, to the many tasks which await you, you will be able to take on those tasks with the love through which they were concieved. For do we not take on all of this busy-ness simply because we love? And would we, truly, have it any other way?
Know that you, filled with love, extend that love outward, radiate love and peace, trust and ease as you embody these. Know that you are perfect in your being and your doing. Know that you are loved as you love.
Easy does it, and may the joys of the season be yours.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Now is the Time
I walked out this morning, a walking pole in one hand and a small bag of household waste in the other. It's garbage day today.
All around me was white. The snow was white and the sky was exactly the same colour. The trees and bushes were clothed in white. Only tree trunks and the larger branches gave my eyes a tracing of black-brown to follow. The tracks of deer were grey-white shadows in the snow. The mass of Sutton Mountain, visible from the bottom of my driveway, was all white; even the tree trunks there were invisible under the snow. The mountain seemed to shine, as if with some inner light, from its height. The silence was almost total in the world around my house. The neighbour's barking dog sounded muffled by snow and distance. There were no passing cars. The road was as white as all else. It all seemed absolutely perfect to me.
Since Monday, there has been an almost indescribable peace within me. It is as if I had been dipped in some sensory accompaniment to the whiteness that surrounds me. My consciousness is as softly undisturbed as the blessed snow that lies over rocks and earth outside.
It is not that I have not had occasion to feel less than that peace. As if to plumb its depths, I managed to break my favourite wine glass - an exquisite hand-blown glass of a particularly lovely blue colour. I had found it by chance in a Goodwill store, a charity shop, for those not from the United States. It wasn't valuable in monetary terms, but I treasured it as a great find and a lovely glass and used it every day, not just for wine, but for water and fruit juice as well. I broke it and stared at the sharp fragments and the splattered liquid that it had held and felt no regret, no trouble, no sense of loss. I felt that all is perfect at being what it is in the moment. I valued its presence in my life, celebrated my enjoyment of it for so long as I had it whole and then let it go completely.
It is a feeling of complete acceptance that is within me. It is filling me completely, so that I am in love with everything that surrounds me. I can't seem to not be in love at the moment. I can't seem to not be in complete acceptance. I'm not trying very hard to leave this peace behind. I have sought it, over many years. Now, it seems to have taken residence within me.
It feels within me like the energy that I have felt when I have called to Yeshua ben Joseph to come to me. It feels like a bit of divinity now shining within my being, permeating my consciousness as the snow outside lies everywhere, permeates all of the landscape, covers all in its quiet whiteness. This peace, this love, this acceptance suffuses all that I AM.
It will take me some time to become familiar with it, I suspect. It will take me some time to understand how I am who I am within the peace which now fills me. It will take me some time to understand how I can express it in the world around me. I trust this process. I trust it as I trust my own breath to bring oxygen into my lungs and blood and body.
I remember exactly when it came. It was on Sunday evening. I looked into the mirror, met my own gaze for an instant, and said, "It's time. It's time now." And I felt it. I felt a sense of emergence. I felt an emergence into something. I didn't know what it was, but I trusted.
And it has been there ever since. It feels like coming out of the most wonderful yoga class, meditation session, or massage, but it doesn't go away over time. It doesn't fade or recede. It remains as a potent presence of unutterable peace within me.
I'll keep you posted. And I know, as surely as I feel this potent peace within me, that whatever you are choosing for yourself now, whatever you are choosing to experience within yourself, now is the time that you can. Now is the time.
All around me was white. The snow was white and the sky was exactly the same colour. The trees and bushes were clothed in white. Only tree trunks and the larger branches gave my eyes a tracing of black-brown to follow. The tracks of deer were grey-white shadows in the snow. The mass of Sutton Mountain, visible from the bottom of my driveway, was all white; even the tree trunks there were invisible under the snow. The mountain seemed to shine, as if with some inner light, from its height. The silence was almost total in the world around my house. The neighbour's barking dog sounded muffled by snow and distance. There were no passing cars. The road was as white as all else. It all seemed absolutely perfect to me.
Since Monday, there has been an almost indescribable peace within me. It is as if I had been dipped in some sensory accompaniment to the whiteness that surrounds me. My consciousness is as softly undisturbed as the blessed snow that lies over rocks and earth outside.
It is not that I have not had occasion to feel less than that peace. As if to plumb its depths, I managed to break my favourite wine glass - an exquisite hand-blown glass of a particularly lovely blue colour. I had found it by chance in a Goodwill store, a charity shop, for those not from the United States. It wasn't valuable in monetary terms, but I treasured it as a great find and a lovely glass and used it every day, not just for wine, but for water and fruit juice as well. I broke it and stared at the sharp fragments and the splattered liquid that it had held and felt no regret, no trouble, no sense of loss. I felt that all is perfect at being what it is in the moment. I valued its presence in my life, celebrated my enjoyment of it for so long as I had it whole and then let it go completely.
It is a feeling of complete acceptance that is within me. It is filling me completely, so that I am in love with everything that surrounds me. I can't seem to not be in love at the moment. I can't seem to not be in complete acceptance. I'm not trying very hard to leave this peace behind. I have sought it, over many years. Now, it seems to have taken residence within me.
It feels within me like the energy that I have felt when I have called to Yeshua ben Joseph to come to me. It feels like a bit of divinity now shining within my being, permeating my consciousness as the snow outside lies everywhere, permeates all of the landscape, covers all in its quiet whiteness. This peace, this love, this acceptance suffuses all that I AM.
It will take me some time to become familiar with it, I suspect. It will take me some time to understand how I am who I am within the peace which now fills me. It will take me some time to understand how I can express it in the world around me. I trust this process. I trust it as I trust my own breath to bring oxygen into my lungs and blood and body.
I remember exactly when it came. It was on Sunday evening. I looked into the mirror, met my own gaze for an instant, and said, "It's time. It's time now." And I felt it. I felt a sense of emergence. I felt an emergence into something. I didn't know what it was, but I trusted.
And it has been there ever since. It feels like coming out of the most wonderful yoga class, meditation session, or massage, but it doesn't go away over time. It doesn't fade or recede. It remains as a potent presence of unutterable peace within me.
I'll keep you posted. And I know, as surely as I feel this potent peace within me, that whatever you are choosing for yourself now, whatever you are choosing to experience within yourself, now is the time that you can. Now is the time.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Winter Solstice Beauty Break
Over the past few weeks, I've been taking photographs from my home and from a certain favoured spot on the road down to Sutton village. Here are a few of these, selected as the best that I have to offer to you.
Snow clothes the trees in the forest until I cannot see through them at all, except where a rare glimpse of blue sky brings me a sense of space and light and spring days to come.
The bulk of Sutton's southwestern shoulder seems so comforting to me. When I reach this point in the road from the village, I always feel as if I am home, even though I have another mile to go, up and to the right, before reaching my driveway. These fields are part of a very old farm, owned by a man I know, who inherited them from his uncle. He works them, grazing cattle here in the warmer months and bringing in hay every year.
The rare glimpse of sunlight warms me as it sits low and setting at 3:45 in the afternoon.
May this solstice day find you exactly as and how and where you choose to be. Blessings of self-fulfillment and free choice be yours.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thoughts of Christmas at the Winter Solstice, 2010
I've always been more drawn to the solstice as a pivotal point in time, rather than to Christmas or to the 'New Year' celebrations. When I consider the yearly orbit of the Earth around our Sun and the annual seasonal sequence brought through the regular variation of Earth's tilt relative to the Sun, the winter solstice is the pivot point of change. This year, more than ever, I feel the power of the winter solstice as a turning point for us, for Earth and for ALL. It feels as though we are on the brink of something truly momentous.
Yet, all around me are the sounds of Christmas hymns, carols and anthems. The Christmas narrative is a beautiful one, a story of light come to the world, and my love for, and gratitude to, Yeshua ben Joseph, the Christos, the bearer of light and of Christ consciousness is profound and passionate.
I am not a Christian, yet I serve with every fiber of my being, body, heart and soul, the exalted consciousness which was embodied by the one known as Christ. And so, Christmas is, for me, a celebration of great joy.
In celebrating the birth of the Christ child every year, Christians are actually celebrating the birth of their own light, their own divinity within them. It may be unrecognized, unnamed, uncalled. It may be hidden. Yet it is there, in each and every one of us; Christ consciousness is our potential.
What I see and hear in the Christmas narrative is a rapturous recognition of the divine in the world, of God in man and in all things, raising the potential in every human being for their divinity to shine forth. That is the real miracle of Christmas - replayed every year for me in the heartbreakingly beautiful hymns of the season. Behold the arrival of the Christ - the light and the love of God - in a child. Behold the birth of the Christos, the Bearer of Light, who tells us of our own kinship with God, with the light, with a consciousness that exceeds all limits placed on love.
That is why Christmas, so close to the winter solstice, resonates so richly for me. I use the songs of joy of the season as signposts on my way to the solstice. Behold! The light returns! What we have been, what we are in our truest selves, comes again into our consciousness, comes in the form of a person, here to show us the way forward. So many of the centuries old hymns are deeply felt calls to recognize the miracle of God in man, God incarnate, embodied, in the world. The passion expressed in these choral masterpieces, and in the soaring cathedrals wherein they are sung, is our own divinity incarnate in us, embodied by us.
We realize this divinity through our consciousness of it. We embody it uniquely, as we are unique individuals. This spirit of God in us is irrepressibly ascendant. We are the ALL becoming more and more conscious of itself through our consciousness. Behold the Light of the World; it is you; it is me; it is all that we are and all that we aspire to. I believe that this is the Second Coming, that we are the ones we have been waiting for.
This year the solstice stands like a doorway for me, one through which I have prepared myself to pass since before I was born. I suspect that this solstice means a great deal to many of us. And I say this to you as you approach the pivot point of change, "Safe journey through to your truth, your light, the Christ consciousness within you - safe journey through change and transformation, through All that you are and All that you have ever been, safe journey to the divinity that is at the core of you."
Yet, all around me are the sounds of Christmas hymns, carols and anthems. The Christmas narrative is a beautiful one, a story of light come to the world, and my love for, and gratitude to, Yeshua ben Joseph, the Christos, the bearer of light and of Christ consciousness is profound and passionate.
I am not a Christian, yet I serve with every fiber of my being, body, heart and soul, the exalted consciousness which was embodied by the one known as Christ. And so, Christmas is, for me, a celebration of great joy.
In celebrating the birth of the Christ child every year, Christians are actually celebrating the birth of their own light, their own divinity within them. It may be unrecognized, unnamed, uncalled. It may be hidden. Yet it is there, in each and every one of us; Christ consciousness is our potential.
What I see and hear in the Christmas narrative is a rapturous recognition of the divine in the world, of God in man and in all things, raising the potential in every human being for their divinity to shine forth. That is the real miracle of Christmas - replayed every year for me in the heartbreakingly beautiful hymns of the season. Behold the arrival of the Christ - the light and the love of God - in a child. Behold the birth of the Christos, the Bearer of Light, who tells us of our own kinship with God, with the light, with a consciousness that exceeds all limits placed on love.
That is why Christmas, so close to the winter solstice, resonates so richly for me. I use the songs of joy of the season as signposts on my way to the solstice. Behold! The light returns! What we have been, what we are in our truest selves, comes again into our consciousness, comes in the form of a person, here to show us the way forward. So many of the centuries old hymns are deeply felt calls to recognize the miracle of God in man, God incarnate, embodied, in the world. The passion expressed in these choral masterpieces, and in the soaring cathedrals wherein they are sung, is our own divinity incarnate in us, embodied by us.
We realize this divinity through our consciousness of it. We embody it uniquely, as we are unique individuals. This spirit of God in us is irrepressibly ascendant. We are the ALL becoming more and more conscious of itself through our consciousness. Behold the Light of the World; it is you; it is me; it is all that we are and all that we aspire to. I believe that this is the Second Coming, that we are the ones we have been waiting for.
This year the solstice stands like a doorway for me, one through which I have prepared myself to pass since before I was born. I suspect that this solstice means a great deal to many of us. And I say this to you as you approach the pivot point of change, "Safe journey through to your truth, your light, the Christ consciousness within you - safe journey through change and transformation, through All that you are and All that you have ever been, safe journey to the divinity that is at the core of you."
Friday, December 17, 2010
Everything and Nothing
I am going to try to express something here this morning that is almost beyond my mind's comprehension. So bear with me.
I'd like you to imagine having everything. Everything that you could possibly want or choose for yourself, including endless choices, is yours. Imagine having excellent health and energy, well-being, great food, friends and a lover or husband or wife or whatever it is you choose to have. Imagine having everything you could possibly want as far as material wealth goes. Imagine being in the most wonderful place in the world, a place that you have always wanted to live in. Imagine knowing that you can go anywhere at any time and stay for as long as you care to. Imagine having so much money, say you won the lottery or something, so much money that you couldn't possibly spend it all in one lifetime. Imagine nothing lacking at all.
Let that feeling fill you. You have everything. Everything on every level. Feel that for a moment. Really feel it. Sink into it. Ride it. Fly with it. Sit with it.
How does it feel? Now that you are used to it a little bit, how does it feel? It feels good, doesn't it. But there's something else there, a sort of emptiness.
Everything. Everything. Everything. Every single thing that I could possibly want is right here in front of me or is readily available. No wish unfulfilled, no want unmet, no desire unrealized. Hmmmm. I'm not happy. I don't know what to tell you! I'm just not happy. There's no challenge. No reach. No reason to have to do anything, so why do this instead of that? There's no story, no difficulty met, no limits overcome... Oh, sure. I have my past. I have all the lack and limitation of my past, but that's all just smoke in the rearview mirror now. I'm looking at absolute abundance. I feel sort of deadened by it, sort of flat.
Sigh.
Okay, let's pull ourselves out of there and come back into where we actually are - somewhere between yes and no, between heaven on Earth and a hell of our own longings and wanting.
Now, imagine that you have nothing. For the sake of this delving into not having, let's assume that you are fed and clothed and housed in some bare and basic fashion. A sort of prison environment. Your most basic needs to keep your body alive and relatively healthy are met, but only just. No art, no beauty, no music, no friends, no books, no colours, no comfort or only just enough to allow for sleep. No connections, no ability to make choices because how could they possibly be realized when there is nothing. Nothing is yours. You hold nothing. You own nothing.
Fabric covers your nakedness. Something vaguely approaching the look and taste of food goes into your stomach every day. A bare room and a place to sleep are all you can count on. Other than that, you have nothing. How does it feel?
Go into it. It's dark. It's dim. It's empty. It's uncomfortable and depressing. It leaves you with nothing but yourself. How does it feel?
Now that you're fully in it, how does it feel? It feels pretty bad, doesn't it. But there's something else there, a sort of fullness deep within. I sense something so infinitely beautiful and perfect in its being deep within. In this emptiness, there are no distractions from this perfect fullness within me.
Nothing. Sameness. Emptiness. And then, from deep within, this ALL that is sustaining. It is this, I think, that keeps people alive when they have nothing. It is the ALL within them that we then sense in them when they emerge and we say, "How was she able to bear it? She is so filled with fortitude, with Self."
So, which do you prefer? The everything, or the nothing?
Well! No one would prefer the nothing. Having nothing! But I don't choose the everything either. No, I choose something inbetween. I choose exactly what I have. Every single thing that I have and every single thing that I don't have and every single moment that is perfect and every single moment that is not. That is what I choose.
And this thing that I strive now to bring to you, this realization that is almost beyond my mind's ability to comprehend - is that very paradoxical truth that I choose to not have everything that I choose. I love beyond all, all, all that I do not have all. I love that I am still in the game. Do you see? It's a game that we are playing here. If you had everything, everything, there'd be no game. The game would be over. If you had nothing, you'd be back where you started this game - at the beginning and you'd have to build up a 'life' again. No problem! I can do that. Once I get over the fear and panic and self-doubt... which of course are part of the game.
It's all perfect in its being and not being. And last evening, sitting in silence, in darkness, I realized that. I realized how it is perfect in all of its being and its not being. I realized how I wouldn't have it any other way. I realized that every pain, every ache, every loss, every humiliation, every failure, every hunger, every sadness, every pit of depression, every fear was perfect, is perfect and will be perfect. I realized that they serve. They serve me. They serve the God that I AM. They serve in ways so inclusive, so unconditional, so All-That-Is, so graceful, so loving, so very very loving, that my mind cannot fully comprehend. They serve by bringing to me every colour, every hue, every nuance of shading and light that is experience. It is all perfect.
I realized that I am always where I choose to be. I chose this life of lack and struggle. I chose it. I chose the pain, the aches, the losses, the humiliations, the failures, the hunger, the sadness - oh yes! I chose the sadness. I chose the depression, the aloneness, the fears. I chose to be here. In this world of yes and no. Yes and also no. I chose this game of being and not being.
I choose it still.
And I have one more question for you. You know what it is. You know.
Do you choose to be here, in this game of yes and no? Do you?
I'd like you to imagine having everything. Everything that you could possibly want or choose for yourself, including endless choices, is yours. Imagine having excellent health and energy, well-being, great food, friends and a lover or husband or wife or whatever it is you choose to have. Imagine having everything you could possibly want as far as material wealth goes. Imagine being in the most wonderful place in the world, a place that you have always wanted to live in. Imagine knowing that you can go anywhere at any time and stay for as long as you care to. Imagine having so much money, say you won the lottery or something, so much money that you couldn't possibly spend it all in one lifetime. Imagine nothing lacking at all.
Let that feeling fill you. You have everything. Everything on every level. Feel that for a moment. Really feel it. Sink into it. Ride it. Fly with it. Sit with it.
How does it feel? Now that you are used to it a little bit, how does it feel? It feels good, doesn't it. But there's something else there, a sort of emptiness.
Everything. Everything. Everything. Every single thing that I could possibly want is right here in front of me or is readily available. No wish unfulfilled, no want unmet, no desire unrealized. Hmmmm. I'm not happy. I don't know what to tell you! I'm just not happy. There's no challenge. No reach. No reason to have to do anything, so why do this instead of that? There's no story, no difficulty met, no limits overcome... Oh, sure. I have my past. I have all the lack and limitation of my past, but that's all just smoke in the rearview mirror now. I'm looking at absolute abundance. I feel sort of deadened by it, sort of flat.
Sigh.
Okay, let's pull ourselves out of there and come back into where we actually are - somewhere between yes and no, between heaven on Earth and a hell of our own longings and wanting.
Now, imagine that you have nothing. For the sake of this delving into not having, let's assume that you are fed and clothed and housed in some bare and basic fashion. A sort of prison environment. Your most basic needs to keep your body alive and relatively healthy are met, but only just. No art, no beauty, no music, no friends, no books, no colours, no comfort or only just enough to allow for sleep. No connections, no ability to make choices because how could they possibly be realized when there is nothing. Nothing is yours. You hold nothing. You own nothing.
Fabric covers your nakedness. Something vaguely approaching the look and taste of food goes into your stomach every day. A bare room and a place to sleep are all you can count on. Other than that, you have nothing. How does it feel?
Go into it. It's dark. It's dim. It's empty. It's uncomfortable and depressing. It leaves you with nothing but yourself. How does it feel?
Now that you're fully in it, how does it feel? It feels pretty bad, doesn't it. But there's something else there, a sort of fullness deep within. I sense something so infinitely beautiful and perfect in its being deep within. In this emptiness, there are no distractions from this perfect fullness within me.
Nothing. Sameness. Emptiness. And then, from deep within, this ALL that is sustaining. It is this, I think, that keeps people alive when they have nothing. It is the ALL within them that we then sense in them when they emerge and we say, "How was she able to bear it? She is so filled with fortitude, with Self."
So, which do you prefer? The everything, or the nothing?
Well! No one would prefer the nothing. Having nothing! But I don't choose the everything either. No, I choose something inbetween. I choose exactly what I have. Every single thing that I have and every single thing that I don't have and every single moment that is perfect and every single moment that is not. That is what I choose.
And this thing that I strive now to bring to you, this realization that is almost beyond my mind's ability to comprehend - is that very paradoxical truth that I choose to not have everything that I choose. I love beyond all, all, all that I do not have all. I love that I am still in the game. Do you see? It's a game that we are playing here. If you had everything, everything, there'd be no game. The game would be over. If you had nothing, you'd be back where you started this game - at the beginning and you'd have to build up a 'life' again. No problem! I can do that. Once I get over the fear and panic and self-doubt... which of course are part of the game.
It's all perfect in its being and not being. And last evening, sitting in silence, in darkness, I realized that. I realized how it is perfect in all of its being and its not being. I realized how I wouldn't have it any other way. I realized that every pain, every ache, every loss, every humiliation, every failure, every hunger, every sadness, every pit of depression, every fear was perfect, is perfect and will be perfect. I realized that they serve. They serve me. They serve the God that I AM. They serve in ways so inclusive, so unconditional, so All-That-Is, so graceful, so loving, so very very loving, that my mind cannot fully comprehend. They serve by bringing to me every colour, every hue, every nuance of shading and light that is experience. It is all perfect.
I realized that I am always where I choose to be. I chose this life of lack and struggle. I chose it. I chose the pain, the aches, the losses, the humiliations, the failures, the hunger, the sadness - oh yes! I chose the sadness. I chose the depression, the aloneness, the fears. I chose to be here. In this world of yes and no. Yes and also no. I chose this game of being and not being.
I choose it still.
And I have one more question for you. You know what it is. You know.
Do you choose to be here, in this game of yes and no? Do you?
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Grounding
I always seem to realize the importance of grounding when I fail to do it over a sufficiently long period of time, so that my energy is imbalanced and erratic within me. Grounding is so simple and takes so little time; it's a wonder that we ever allow ourselves to become ungrounded, and yet we do.
There are many ways in which we can ground ourselves. All of them are simple and immediate.
We can ground ourselves into the world by taking a moment when we are outside to focus on the natural world around us and literally feel its energy and align our energy to that which we feel. I can easily do this when I am standing or sitting still outside; it is difficult, but not impossible, for me to do this when I am moving.
We can ground ourselves into the Now by taking a couple of deep breaths and bringing ourselves into stillness, wherever we are and whatever we are doing. I also find that simple tasks like rinsing out a cup or dish, washing my hands or putting away yesterday's clothes can ground me if I bring mindfulness to the task and immerse myself in the simplicity of the moment.
We can ground ourselves into our bodies, always a good thing these days, times being what they are. Stretching exercises of your own, or another's, design, hatha yoga, resistance training, aerobic exercise - all of these will bring you back into your body and your breath if you have flown off somewhere else and need to ground. I also love to walk - either quickly, as for an aerobic workout, or slowly, communing with the natural world around me and taking the time to feel the muscles in my legs, to perhaps walk with my arms out-stretched to the world as I move along for awhile. The point is to get back into your body and feel and ground yourself into the immediate experience of the body being in the world.
Another wonderful way to ground is to tone. When conditions outside allow for it, I love to sit somewhere and just tone my being into the air around me. There's no one around to hear, so I don't have to worry about how it sounds. Toning forces us to breathe deeply, which is always beneficial, and to express energy and feel the vibration of the tones as they emanate from us. Toning seems to me to embody the energy through these vibrations and I find that incredibly grounding. We can also tone indoors. The presence of the natural world surrounding us outside adds to the grounding experience of toning. Indoors we don't have that, but we do have the wonderful vibrations of the tones running through our bodies. We do have the experience of the Now as we tone and the opportunity to wordlessly express energy. We also have the benefits of the deep breathing that accompanies toning.
I find that writing in my journal grounds me. I am brought into myself and must ask the question, "What am I feeling now?" so that I can express it in my journal. Journal writing uses words, which seem incredibly limiting to me these days and a bit too much in the head rather than the heart, but being brought back to my feelings, my knowing, my experience of the Now, grounds me in my Being none-the-less. Anything that brings you into yourself in your truth will help you to feel grounded.
What is it that takes us out of our grounded being in the world? All that is of the head and the whirling, shifting, chattering thoughts of the mind. Flitting about on the internet - much as I love it - it is not a very grounded space. Working with, or even just being with, other people - as we are becoming multi-dimensional and more empathic, we tend to go outside of ourselves to encounter their reality, their feeling, their truth - and lose sight of our own more than we would have liked to. Even when we are on our own, when we are moving into multi-dimensional experience of the various levels of consciousness and being, we tend to leave our bodies behind and it's good to know that we can come back to them, can maintain that balance between being off in the etheric realms somewhere and being fully present in our bodies here in 3D. Taking on the vibrations of mass consciousness, of the fear and anxiety that energetically permeate our awareness sometimes, can bring us into imbalance. It's not easy to know what is ours and what is not, and often what we are experiencing energetically is not ours at all. Grounding brings us back into our truth and we can then distinguish between what is ours and what is not. Grounding helps us to rid ourselves of vibrations which are not ours.
The ultimate grounding exercise is to stand or sit in a quiet place with the full intention of grounding and to then consciously send energy down into the ground, releasing it from your body and your consciousness, your energy field and your vibration. My feeling about this way of grounding is that it unnecessarily burdens the earth with this energy which it doesn't need any more than we do. I don't ground that way anymore; it just doesn't feel like something I choose to do these days. I use the methods outlined above, sending the energy out into the world at large from whence it came. It will clear eventually, I reckon. And in any case, there's nothing inherently 'bad' or 'wrong' about the energy - it's just not ours, or it's very much of the mind and we're clearing it out so that we can feel from the heart and from the wisdom of the body, from the truth of our selves in the moment.
We are constantly being pulled out of ourselves, especially as we become more and more highly conscious. Grounding brings us back in to feel. Feeling is the currency of the times in which we live. Vibration is our way forward shown to us in the moment. Resonance, a word much in use these days, is our feeling of and with the vibrations that surround us. Being grounded helps us to navigate this new energy.
There are many ways in which we can ground ourselves. All of them are simple and immediate.
We can ground ourselves into the world by taking a moment when we are outside to focus on the natural world around us and literally feel its energy and align our energy to that which we feel. I can easily do this when I am standing or sitting still outside; it is difficult, but not impossible, for me to do this when I am moving.
We can ground ourselves into the Now by taking a couple of deep breaths and bringing ourselves into stillness, wherever we are and whatever we are doing. I also find that simple tasks like rinsing out a cup or dish, washing my hands or putting away yesterday's clothes can ground me if I bring mindfulness to the task and immerse myself in the simplicity of the moment.
We can ground ourselves into our bodies, always a good thing these days, times being what they are. Stretching exercises of your own, or another's, design, hatha yoga, resistance training, aerobic exercise - all of these will bring you back into your body and your breath if you have flown off somewhere else and need to ground. I also love to walk - either quickly, as for an aerobic workout, or slowly, communing with the natural world around me and taking the time to feel the muscles in my legs, to perhaps walk with my arms out-stretched to the world as I move along for awhile. The point is to get back into your body and feel and ground yourself into the immediate experience of the body being in the world.
Another wonderful way to ground is to tone. When conditions outside allow for it, I love to sit somewhere and just tone my being into the air around me. There's no one around to hear, so I don't have to worry about how it sounds. Toning forces us to breathe deeply, which is always beneficial, and to express energy and feel the vibration of the tones as they emanate from us. Toning seems to me to embody the energy through these vibrations and I find that incredibly grounding. We can also tone indoors. The presence of the natural world surrounding us outside adds to the grounding experience of toning. Indoors we don't have that, but we do have the wonderful vibrations of the tones running through our bodies. We do have the experience of the Now as we tone and the opportunity to wordlessly express energy. We also have the benefits of the deep breathing that accompanies toning.
I find that writing in my journal grounds me. I am brought into myself and must ask the question, "What am I feeling now?" so that I can express it in my journal. Journal writing uses words, which seem incredibly limiting to me these days and a bit too much in the head rather than the heart, but being brought back to my feelings, my knowing, my experience of the Now, grounds me in my Being none-the-less. Anything that brings you into yourself in your truth will help you to feel grounded.
What is it that takes us out of our grounded being in the world? All that is of the head and the whirling, shifting, chattering thoughts of the mind. Flitting about on the internet - much as I love it - it is not a very grounded space. Working with, or even just being with, other people - as we are becoming multi-dimensional and more empathic, we tend to go outside of ourselves to encounter their reality, their feeling, their truth - and lose sight of our own more than we would have liked to. Even when we are on our own, when we are moving into multi-dimensional experience of the various levels of consciousness and being, we tend to leave our bodies behind and it's good to know that we can come back to them, can maintain that balance between being off in the etheric realms somewhere and being fully present in our bodies here in 3D. Taking on the vibrations of mass consciousness, of the fear and anxiety that energetically permeate our awareness sometimes, can bring us into imbalance. It's not easy to know what is ours and what is not, and often what we are experiencing energetically is not ours at all. Grounding brings us back into our truth and we can then distinguish between what is ours and what is not. Grounding helps us to rid ourselves of vibrations which are not ours.
The ultimate grounding exercise is to stand or sit in a quiet place with the full intention of grounding and to then consciously send energy down into the ground, releasing it from your body and your consciousness, your energy field and your vibration. My feeling about this way of grounding is that it unnecessarily burdens the earth with this energy which it doesn't need any more than we do. I don't ground that way anymore; it just doesn't feel like something I choose to do these days. I use the methods outlined above, sending the energy out into the world at large from whence it came. It will clear eventually, I reckon. And in any case, there's nothing inherently 'bad' or 'wrong' about the energy - it's just not ours, or it's very much of the mind and we're clearing it out so that we can feel from the heart and from the wisdom of the body, from the truth of our selves in the moment.
We are constantly being pulled out of ourselves, especially as we become more and more highly conscious. Grounding brings us back in to feel. Feeling is the currency of the times in which we live. Vibration is our way forward shown to us in the moment. Resonance, a word much in use these days, is our feeling of and with the vibrations that surround us. Being grounded helps us to navigate this new energy.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Consciousness in Service to the Whole
I realized something that I'd like to share with you.
You might recall through what I have written, or through what others have written (for in truth, we are all brilliantly exploring all of this work in consciousness), that when we become consciousness of our being, our feeling, our hurts and shame and fears, we allow them to be transmuted and released. What we are - all that we are - seeks to be known by our consciousness, to be known and accepted. Then it can be released.
That's the basis of the work in consciousness and in acceptance of self that we are doing here. We are fearlessly (more or less) going into our own dark places and by allowing them to be known by us, we are allowing them to be transmuted and released.
Well, is it possible that the same is true for the world's dark places, for humanity's hurts and shame and fears? The realization that I came to this morning is that, yes, it is possible. One day last spring I was outside in the garden as a strong wind blew and all of a sudden I could feel Afghanistan. I could feel it. The stuck energy. The blocks to peace there. I could feel it but not in words. I held it for an instant. Then let it go. What if my consciousness of that energy was actually helping it to come to a point of transmutation? I think it's possible.
Certainly, I've always found that what is true on the personal level is true for everyone - not dogma, but process. We're all moving through this process of becoming more and more aware and more and more releasing of that which we do not choose as our experience, more and more consciously choosing our reality through our greater awareness of all that we are and all that surrounds us. More and more accepting of what is; not resisting it because we know that resistance gives energy to the thing resisted. Could this work for things like war, hatred, racism, fear and resistance to change? Can our consciousness of the energies at play in these dark places on our planet help them to become unstuck?
I'm just entertaining this idea. I'm feeling kind of excited about it. Not that we have to change the world, save the world, do it all ourselves. No. Not that. But that our consciousness is a force in the world, a way forward for stuck energies and fear-bound societies. And it begins with becoming conscious of these energies without judgement, without trying to change them, without blame or anger that they are there. Just as it is with ourselves, it is with everyone else.
Consciousness is key. Acceptance is key.
You might recall through what I have written, or through what others have written (for in truth, we are all brilliantly exploring all of this work in consciousness), that when we become consciousness of our being, our feeling, our hurts and shame and fears, we allow them to be transmuted and released. What we are - all that we are - seeks to be known by our consciousness, to be known and accepted. Then it can be released.
That's the basis of the work in consciousness and in acceptance of self that we are doing here. We are fearlessly (more or less) going into our own dark places and by allowing them to be known by us, we are allowing them to be transmuted and released.
Well, is it possible that the same is true for the world's dark places, for humanity's hurts and shame and fears? The realization that I came to this morning is that, yes, it is possible. One day last spring I was outside in the garden as a strong wind blew and all of a sudden I could feel Afghanistan. I could feel it. The stuck energy. The blocks to peace there. I could feel it but not in words. I held it for an instant. Then let it go. What if my consciousness of that energy was actually helping it to come to a point of transmutation? I think it's possible.
Certainly, I've always found that what is true on the personal level is true for everyone - not dogma, but process. We're all moving through this process of becoming more and more aware and more and more releasing of that which we do not choose as our experience, more and more consciously choosing our reality through our greater awareness of all that we are and all that surrounds us. More and more accepting of what is; not resisting it because we know that resistance gives energy to the thing resisted. Could this work for things like war, hatred, racism, fear and resistance to change? Can our consciousness of the energies at play in these dark places on our planet help them to become unstuck?
I'm just entertaining this idea. I'm feeling kind of excited about it. Not that we have to change the world, save the world, do it all ourselves. No. Not that. But that our consciousness is a force in the world, a way forward for stuck energies and fear-bound societies. And it begins with becoming conscious of these energies without judgement, without trying to change them, without blame or anger that they are there. Just as it is with ourselves, it is with everyone else.
Consciousness is key. Acceptance is key.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Knowing What's Ours, Knowing What's Not
One of the most difficult things to be in compassion with is someone else's reaction to me. Negative reactions, like anger, frustration or resentment, pack an emotional punch, slamming energy into me. I tend to get hit pretty hard by these and retreat in dismay. But even positive reactions can be energy bombs and it is a real challenge to incorporate, literally take into my body, the energy being directed at me by another person.
It helps tremendously for those of us who are sensitive to energies to realize that the flood of energy coming into us is not our own. So, when someone is reacting to me with a fairly intense emotion, whether negative or positive, I am learning to stay in my groundedness, in my truth, and to understand that their reaction is theirs. I don't have to take it in, take it on or take it as my truth. It is their truth and I honour it, but I don't need to become it.
Yes, believe it or not, I used to actually become whatever was being sent my way. I didn't know how to disassociate myself from what was not mine. I suspect that there are quite a few of us who find this to be a challenge.
My friend and I have been exchanging emails about HSP's (highly sensitive persons). I suspect that I fall into that category and perhaps you who are reading this do also. I can't cite the source of the term highly sensitive person, because I don't have a reference to his or her name, but someone came up with it and I'm glad that they did. It helps me to know that I am not alone in my sensitivity and that there is a category that I can place myself in. These people are more sensitive than others to such things as light, sound, weather conditions and energies.
Energies are everywhere. Places have energies. People radiate energies, either knowingly or not, powerfully or subtly, lovingly or fearfully. People radiate energies. So do pets. So do people's homes. I find it to be really cool and interesting when it is not overwhelming me.
The more highly conscious we become, the more aware we become, the more sensitive we become. I've reached a point where there are certain places that I just will not go to. Certain people's homes are very difficult for me. Cities are difficult for me. Crowds are impossible for me. Even just being around other people is very tiring to me. I'm taking in all of their energies and then sending them out. It takes up a lot of my energy to do this. So, most of the time, I prefer to be in what I call 'blessed solitude.'
With those whom we care about, those whom we choose to spend time with, and those who are colleagues in work we choose to do, we can practice knowing what is ours, what is not, and what we can and should move through and out of us. It is not ours. It is theirs.
It is a practice in compassion. It is a practice in consciously moving energy, rather than allowing energy to move me. Sometimes I do better at it than other times. If I am well-rested and centered in myself, it tends to go quite well. If I am tired or stressed, it can be a disaster. I take on others' energies and emotions and then feel terrible because I am no longer in my truth. And that has become unbearable to me.
So this practice is very important to me. I find it quite easy to be in compassion with strangers. It is those with whom I share more of myself and who share more with me that present a far greater challenge. Ah, well. Best just to get on with it, eh?
Knowing what's ours and knowing what's not - moving that energy through us, through the breath, through the truth of the self, through the groundedness of self being in the world, and doing so in compassion and with honour for the other, always with honour for the truth of the other - that is my practice these days.
It helps tremendously for those of us who are sensitive to energies to realize that the flood of energy coming into us is not our own. So, when someone is reacting to me with a fairly intense emotion, whether negative or positive, I am learning to stay in my groundedness, in my truth, and to understand that their reaction is theirs. I don't have to take it in, take it on or take it as my truth. It is their truth and I honour it, but I don't need to become it.
Yes, believe it or not, I used to actually become whatever was being sent my way. I didn't know how to disassociate myself from what was not mine. I suspect that there are quite a few of us who find this to be a challenge.
My friend and I have been exchanging emails about HSP's (highly sensitive persons). I suspect that I fall into that category and perhaps you who are reading this do also. I can't cite the source of the term highly sensitive person, because I don't have a reference to his or her name, but someone came up with it and I'm glad that they did. It helps me to know that I am not alone in my sensitivity and that there is a category that I can place myself in. These people are more sensitive than others to such things as light, sound, weather conditions and energies.
Energies are everywhere. Places have energies. People radiate energies, either knowingly or not, powerfully or subtly, lovingly or fearfully. People radiate energies. So do pets. So do people's homes. I find it to be really cool and interesting when it is not overwhelming me.
The more highly conscious we become, the more aware we become, the more sensitive we become. I've reached a point where there are certain places that I just will not go to. Certain people's homes are very difficult for me. Cities are difficult for me. Crowds are impossible for me. Even just being around other people is very tiring to me. I'm taking in all of their energies and then sending them out. It takes up a lot of my energy to do this. So, most of the time, I prefer to be in what I call 'blessed solitude.'
With those whom we care about, those whom we choose to spend time with, and those who are colleagues in work we choose to do, we can practice knowing what is ours, what is not, and what we can and should move through and out of us. It is not ours. It is theirs.
It is a practice in compassion. It is a practice in consciously moving energy, rather than allowing energy to move me. Sometimes I do better at it than other times. If I am well-rested and centered in myself, it tends to go quite well. If I am tired or stressed, it can be a disaster. I take on others' energies and emotions and then feel terrible because I am no longer in my truth. And that has become unbearable to me.
So this practice is very important to me. I find it quite easy to be in compassion with strangers. It is those with whom I share more of myself and who share more with me that present a far greater challenge. Ah, well. Best just to get on with it, eh?
Knowing what's ours and knowing what's not - moving that energy through us, through the breath, through the truth of the self, through the groundedness of self being in the world, and doing so in compassion and with honour for the other, always with honour for the truth of the other - that is my practice these days.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Practicing Compassion
I've been practicing compassion lately. It's not so easy, yet it's not so difficult either. I find that it involves getting my ego out of the way, because my ego always wants to solve the problem and be oh-so-helpful to the other person. Compassion feels with the other, not in sympathy, but in unity consciousness. I can do that. I love to do that. The challenge for me is that compassion makes no effort to change the reality that the other person is experiencing.
Compassion is an expression of unity consciousness - an expression of the ALL That Is in some specific moment, in some specific instance - an expression of complete acceptance, which is the way God sees the world. There is nothing that is not God. There is nothing that is not included in the ALL That Is. Thus compassion is all inclusive. Its incredible power and presence is this very inclusivity. Compassion holds ALL in its gentle embrace and the feeling of safety there is palpable, visceral, life-changing. Within that all-inclusive embrace we are, above all, allowed. We are allowed to be all that we are. We are accepted, as is all of our experience.
Compassion is also the soulful experience of the truth that all is well in all of creation. This truth lies outside of duality consciousness. Every loss, every pain, every illness, every disability, every challenge is perfect in its being. Every joy, every gain, every moment of ease, every wellness, every accomplishment, every work well done is perfect in its being. Until and unless these dual aspects of being in the world are accepted in their entirety for self and for others, we cannot be in true compassion.
And this is what I have been practicing. Various people have spoken to me lately of their aches, pains, challenges and resentments, disappointments, loneliness and yearnings. I am practicing holding myself in compassionate acceptance of all that they present to me as their experience. I am practicing holding a place within me that witnesses their expression of their truth but makes no attempt, takes no action of any kind, to change that truth or to adjust their expression or to 'improve' their experience. For in truth, there is no improvement to be made on perfection. And the experiences that we go through are perfect in their whole-being. It is this aspect of the practice of compassion that is so challenging to me. I love. And I want to help.
I find myself slipping into offering 'advice' which is actually just my opinion on the matter. Or I find myself offering sympathy - it's what people expect, after all. What I choose to offer is something much quieter, much more subtle and yet much more powerfully present as a space of allowance of all that the person is in the moment.
The most frustrating part of this practice, for me, is that when I look at my own 'troubles' and challenges, I love them! I love how they move me, teach me, bless me with greater awareness and deeper insights. My pain is a gift. My aloneness is a gift. Everything that I experience is a gift. So, wouldn't that also be true for everybody else? And it's only my habit of sympathizing that brings me to sympathize. It's only my ego's desire to be seen as strong, capable, helpful, wise.... that leads me, when I'm not aware enough to stop myself, to offer all kinds of suggestions and possible courses of action or different ways of looking at the 'problem.'
In truth, the experience of the other belongs to the other. It is theirs and it is sacred and I truly believe that the greatest gift that I could give to the other would be my presence with them in total compassion, in compassionate witnessing of their experience when they request that witnessing. Mostly, we just want to be heard, don't we. We just want to be seen for who we are as we are living our lives of love and loss, of victory and victimization.
So, I'm practicing compassion. I'm going to keep at it for the forseeable future.
Compassion is an expression of unity consciousness - an expression of the ALL That Is in some specific moment, in some specific instance - an expression of complete acceptance, which is the way God sees the world. There is nothing that is not God. There is nothing that is not included in the ALL That Is. Thus compassion is all inclusive. Its incredible power and presence is this very inclusivity. Compassion holds ALL in its gentle embrace and the feeling of safety there is palpable, visceral, life-changing. Within that all-inclusive embrace we are, above all, allowed. We are allowed to be all that we are. We are accepted, as is all of our experience.
Compassion is also the soulful experience of the truth that all is well in all of creation. This truth lies outside of duality consciousness. Every loss, every pain, every illness, every disability, every challenge is perfect in its being. Every joy, every gain, every moment of ease, every wellness, every accomplishment, every work well done is perfect in its being. Until and unless these dual aspects of being in the world are accepted in their entirety for self and for others, we cannot be in true compassion.
And this is what I have been practicing. Various people have spoken to me lately of their aches, pains, challenges and resentments, disappointments, loneliness and yearnings. I am practicing holding myself in compassionate acceptance of all that they present to me as their experience. I am practicing holding a place within me that witnesses their expression of their truth but makes no attempt, takes no action of any kind, to change that truth or to adjust their expression or to 'improve' their experience. For in truth, there is no improvement to be made on perfection. And the experiences that we go through are perfect in their whole-being. It is this aspect of the practice of compassion that is so challenging to me. I love. And I want to help.
I find myself slipping into offering 'advice' which is actually just my opinion on the matter. Or I find myself offering sympathy - it's what people expect, after all. What I choose to offer is something much quieter, much more subtle and yet much more powerfully present as a space of allowance of all that the person is in the moment.
The most frustrating part of this practice, for me, is that when I look at my own 'troubles' and challenges, I love them! I love how they move me, teach me, bless me with greater awareness and deeper insights. My pain is a gift. My aloneness is a gift. Everything that I experience is a gift. So, wouldn't that also be true for everybody else? And it's only my habit of sympathizing that brings me to sympathize. It's only my ego's desire to be seen as strong, capable, helpful, wise.... that leads me, when I'm not aware enough to stop myself, to offer all kinds of suggestions and possible courses of action or different ways of looking at the 'problem.'
In truth, the experience of the other belongs to the other. It is theirs and it is sacred and I truly believe that the greatest gift that I could give to the other would be my presence with them in total compassion, in compassionate witnessing of their experience when they request that witnessing. Mostly, we just want to be heard, don't we. We just want to be seen for who we are as we are living our lives of love and loss, of victory and victimization.
So, I'm practicing compassion. I'm going to keep at it for the forseeable future.
Friday, December 10, 2010
I Am
I found and kept this quotation from the Bhagavad Gita:
"I am not bound by this vast work of creation. I am and I watch the drama of events."
There is a sense of detachment in this. There is a sense of the observer who remains removed from the world. Yet we are in the world, even when we pretend that we are not. By our very claim to be, our whispered "I Am," we are in the world. And then, of course, there is the love that we feel. The love that we feel for the world, or for parts of the world, is as much a part of us as our breath. Would we detach ourselves from that love?
Is it possible to love without attachment? Is it possible to be an observer, unbound, unfettered, yet filled with love?
Yes. It is possible, for this is the way that God loves. This is the way that angels love. They offer love and light, yet they do not interfere and they honour whatever happens, whatever transpires. They are not bound by this vast work of creation. They are and they watch the drama of events. And they do so with love and compassion.
Is is possible for us to love in this way? Can we be an integral part of this 'vast work of creation,' yet not bound by it? Observing it, yet not caught in any of the drama being played out in it? What is this freedom? What does it look like to be so unbound?
I'm not sure. But I'll hazard a guess. I reckon that to be 'not bound by this vast work of creation' is to be fully present in the moment, yet holding on to nothing, flowing in trust through time and space. It is to be in complete accord and acceptance with the moment and all that it presents. It is to be unattached to outcomes or agendas, plans or visions of what will be. It is to let go. It is profoundly felt, but not easy to put into words. And it involves trust; always, it comes back to trust.
Here is another beautiful quotation that says something similar, although not exactly the same. It is an Irish proverb.
"The most beautiful music of all is the music of what happens."
These quotations, by the way, come from a publication of quotations that was brought together and published by the editor of The Sun magazine. They have a website which you might like to explore, for the magazine is quite special. It is completely free of advertising, maintained totally by its readers, and contains prose, poetry, photographs and quotations such as these. It's very different than any other magazine I've ever come across.
(http://www.thesunmagazine.org/)
Well, I'm off now to experience the day, to enjoy the beautiful music of what happens.
Blessings!
"I am not bound by this vast work of creation. I am and I watch the drama of events."
There is a sense of detachment in this. There is a sense of the observer who remains removed from the world. Yet we are in the world, even when we pretend that we are not. By our very claim to be, our whispered "I Am," we are in the world. And then, of course, there is the love that we feel. The love that we feel for the world, or for parts of the world, is as much a part of us as our breath. Would we detach ourselves from that love?
Is it possible to love without attachment? Is it possible to be an observer, unbound, unfettered, yet filled with love?
Yes. It is possible, for this is the way that God loves. This is the way that angels love. They offer love and light, yet they do not interfere and they honour whatever happens, whatever transpires. They are not bound by this vast work of creation. They are and they watch the drama of events. And they do so with love and compassion.
Is is possible for us to love in this way? Can we be an integral part of this 'vast work of creation,' yet not bound by it? Observing it, yet not caught in any of the drama being played out in it? What is this freedom? What does it look like to be so unbound?
I'm not sure. But I'll hazard a guess. I reckon that to be 'not bound by this vast work of creation' is to be fully present in the moment, yet holding on to nothing, flowing in trust through time and space. It is to be in complete accord and acceptance with the moment and all that it presents. It is to be unattached to outcomes or agendas, plans or visions of what will be. It is to let go. It is profoundly felt, but not easy to put into words. And it involves trust; always, it comes back to trust.
Here is another beautiful quotation that says something similar, although not exactly the same. It is an Irish proverb.
"The most beautiful music of all is the music of what happens."
These quotations, by the way, come from a publication of quotations that was brought together and published by the editor of The Sun magazine. They have a website which you might like to explore, for the magazine is quite special. It is completely free of advertising, maintained totally by its readers, and contains prose, poetry, photographs and quotations such as these. It's very different than any other magazine I've ever come across.
(http://www.thesunmagazine.org/)
Well, I'm off now to experience the day, to enjoy the beautiful music of what happens.
Blessings!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Effortless Abundance
It's very simple.
The secret to living a life of effortless abundance is to get out of the way and let it happen. So once again we are asked to trust. What often makes it seem difficult, if not impossible, is that we don't experience abundance in the moment, so we fall into doubt and fear of lack, which is loving reflected back to us in our experience.
Once you have experienced that flow, that effortless flow from moment to moment within which all of your needs and wants are somehow taken care of, you understand the possibility of effortless abundance.
There are no words to describe it, for it is beyond words. There is no clear way of getting into that flow, except through complete trust.
Whatever it is within you that blocks you from trusting, sit with that for as long as need be. Sit with that until you understand it. Sit with that until you know why it is there in your life, in your experience, and how it has served you. Whatever it is within you that blocks you from complete trust, sit with it until you can truly appreciate it. When you can truly appreciate it, offer it your gratitude and your appreciation and then release it. Only when you understand how it has served you, will you be able to release it from that service. Whatever it is within you that blocks you from trusting, from experiencing the flow of divine grace that provides effortless abundance, you cannot deny it, ignore it, fight it, resist it, kill it or negate it. You can only release it through love and appreciation, understanding and gratitude.
Whatever it is within you that blocks you from trusting, it is there for some reason. It may be a fear of lack. It may be a fear of success. It may be a belief that you are unworthy. It may be a belief that you are guilty and therefore need to suffer. It may be a belief that life is inherently difficult. It may be a belief that you are too small and weak and unable and so you cannot experience abundance. It may be any one of these things, or a combination of these things or something else entirely. Whatever it is, it is yours. It is personal to you and if you sit with it and ask it to tell you about itself, you will understand more than you do now about why your experience of life has been as it has been.
Always the flow of effortless abundance is available to you. It is you who withhold yourself from it, not the other way around. And it is not only effortless abundance that is available to you, it is effortless safety, effortless health, effortless community with others, effortless flow of synchronicity, effortless self-expression, effortless well-being.
Wanting it will not avail you of it, for if you fill yourself with the experience of wanting it, you will have that wanting as your experience. We've all heard that before. And we know how true it is, albeit frustrating.
Effortless abundance is experienced through letting go and simply being in trust in the moment. So simple! How can it be that such simplicity and joy can elude us?
Take a deep breath and then set aside some time to spend with yourself in true and loving communication with those beliefs and memories, all held deeply within, that inform your conception and creation of the world that you inhabit. And when you have sat for long enough with these beliefs, sat and listened, understood and appreciated, sat and loved and released with gratitude for the service rendered to you, then take another deep breath and then another and then one more, and step easily into the flow of trust, of living in the Now, of allowance in the moment, and know yourself to be blessed.
The secret to living a life of effortless abundance is to get out of the way and let it happen. So once again we are asked to trust. What often makes it seem difficult, if not impossible, is that we don't experience abundance in the moment, so we fall into doubt and fear of lack, which is loving reflected back to us in our experience.
Once you have experienced that flow, that effortless flow from moment to moment within which all of your needs and wants are somehow taken care of, you understand the possibility of effortless abundance.
There are no words to describe it, for it is beyond words. There is no clear way of getting into that flow, except through complete trust.
Whatever it is within you that blocks you from trusting, sit with that for as long as need be. Sit with that until you understand it. Sit with that until you know why it is there in your life, in your experience, and how it has served you. Whatever it is within you that blocks you from complete trust, sit with it until you can truly appreciate it. When you can truly appreciate it, offer it your gratitude and your appreciation and then release it. Only when you understand how it has served you, will you be able to release it from that service. Whatever it is within you that blocks you from trusting, from experiencing the flow of divine grace that provides effortless abundance, you cannot deny it, ignore it, fight it, resist it, kill it or negate it. You can only release it through love and appreciation, understanding and gratitude.
Whatever it is within you that blocks you from trusting, it is there for some reason. It may be a fear of lack. It may be a fear of success. It may be a belief that you are unworthy. It may be a belief that you are guilty and therefore need to suffer. It may be a belief that life is inherently difficult. It may be a belief that you are too small and weak and unable and so you cannot experience abundance. It may be any one of these things, or a combination of these things or something else entirely. Whatever it is, it is yours. It is personal to you and if you sit with it and ask it to tell you about itself, you will understand more than you do now about why your experience of life has been as it has been.
Always the flow of effortless abundance is available to you. It is you who withhold yourself from it, not the other way around. And it is not only effortless abundance that is available to you, it is effortless safety, effortless health, effortless community with others, effortless flow of synchronicity, effortless self-expression, effortless well-being.
Wanting it will not avail you of it, for if you fill yourself with the experience of wanting it, you will have that wanting as your experience. We've all heard that before. And we know how true it is, albeit frustrating.
Effortless abundance is experienced through letting go and simply being in trust in the moment. So simple! How can it be that such simplicity and joy can elude us?
Take a deep breath and then set aside some time to spend with yourself in true and loving communication with those beliefs and memories, all held deeply within, that inform your conception and creation of the world that you inhabit. And when you have sat for long enough with these beliefs, sat and listened, understood and appreciated, sat and loved and released with gratitude for the service rendered to you, then take another deep breath and then another and then one more, and step easily into the flow of trust, of living in the Now, of allowance in the moment, and know yourself to be blessed.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Making Our Own Way
Without looking to anyone else to lead us, it is we ourselves who will now make our own way to the Divine that we are.
Without asking anyone else to define what that means for us, or to describe it to us so that we will know it, it is we ourselves who will now create the realization of Self being God in the world.
Without asking anyone else to let us know when we have arrived and what that will be and what will happen next, it is we ourselves who will now choose our path, every step of the way.
And if you are anything like me, that prospect is at least a little bit daunting. No one to guide us? No one to lead? No one to tell us what to do and how to do it?
No. Not anymore. It was, in any case, an illusion of not knowing that we used to cushion ourselves against the full weight of the responsibility of going forward into the future in integrity and complete self-realization.
Phew!
Without asking anyone else to define what that means for us, or to describe it to us so that we will know it, it is we ourselves who will now create the realization of Self being God in the world.
Without asking anyone else to let us know when we have arrived and what that will be and what will happen next, it is we ourselves who will now choose our path, every step of the way.
And if you are anything like me, that prospect is at least a little bit daunting. No one to guide us? No one to lead? No one to tell us what to do and how to do it?
No. Not anymore. It was, in any case, an illusion of not knowing that we used to cushion ourselves against the full weight of the responsibility of going forward into the future in integrity and complete self-realization.
Phew!
The way forward is dark and shadowed by our own need for certainty and our own sense of ourselves as not being ready, not being strong enough, not being wise enough.
I know that we are ready. I know that we are strong enough and wise enough.
I know that we can handle this transition into a new way of being in the world, in the moment. I know that we can help each other in this, but that each of us ultimately chooses a path that is all our own.
Be of good courage. Be in the moment. Be in trust of yourself and of your depth, breadth, heights and wisdom.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
God Within
Piles of fluffy white snow fell through the day yesterday and through the night. I awoke to delight in the change. My world is now white and black and grey. These are the colours of duality. The white and the black signify the positive and the negative. The grey is the space between them, the third element that allows for the existence of the two poles of experience.
Yesterday I wrote of being in that space of perfect love that means that when we see the world around us, we see with the eyes of God. All day yesterday, I felt that within me. It was a love such as I have always dreamed of - a love so complete that it accepts everything that I am and loves regardless, strong, steady and sure.
This morning, I found myself thinking about the details of Christmas day with family members. I found myself dreading the inevitable clash of personalities and values that seems to occur whenever I spend time with my sister. Suddenly I was out of love. I felt it distinctly. I was out of love and instead I was intent on trying to figure out a way that I can minimize the discomfort that I anticipate on Christmas day as I try to squeeze myself into the space allowed by my family's views, expectations and beliefs.
I found myself wondering why that perfect love within me could allow me to fall into such petty thinking. Here I am contemplating heaven on Earth and God within me and then all of a sudden I'm worrying about having a pissing contest, based on every other pissing contest I've ever had, with my sister at the inevitable family gathering on Christmas day. How could that love, that wisdom that I KNOW is within me, allow this oh-so human stuff to be going on - still?!
And the answer came and it was, of course, perfect love, since it was given by perfect love.
All that is divine within me, within us, honours our totality of self-being-in-the-world so much and so perfectly, and accepts ALL that we are, every little petty and not-so-petty thing that we are, accepts it all so well that when we choose to entertain such thoughts or to delve into our fears and needs and lack and losses, it just goes right along with it. It wouldn't DREAM, not even for a moment, of saying "No" to anything that we are. The love and the acceptance are complete. The divinity within us says, "Okay, Beloved. You're that right now? Then that is what I love and that is what I honour."
And so, as usual, it is entirely up to us what we will be and what we will focus on and choose. I can surrender to that perfect love and to all that is God within me, but the instant that I choose otherwise, that love comes right along with me and says, "Okay. We're going to spend a little time fretting about the price of snow removal services right now? Okay."
And the instant that I once again turn to the perfect peace and wordless knowing of the ALL that is the I AM, the divinity within me, I'm there. It is in constant synchronicity with me, and consistently honours my choices in the world of form. There's that notion of the toggle switch again. Only this time, it has the divine seal of approval lovingly applied to it. We cannot fail God. No matter how petty or how fearful or how angry we become in the moment, we cannot fail the God that is within us, or the ALL-That-Is-is-God that surrounds us. We will be loved regardless. And that vibration of divine beingness that has become available to us now, times being what they are, will not ever remove itself from us, unless we choose that it do so. When we find ourselves entertaining thoughts that we feel no longer serve us, we have only to turn to other thoughts, to choose again, to refocus. It is a simple act of will, of choice, of intention. And it is never too much trouble, or too often that we fall, or too petty that we become.
The love that is God's love, within us and surrounding us, always honours our choices, always follows our lead. We get to choose.
It is time for us to claim our divinity, the God within us. It is time for us to fully realize our sovereignty and to own our I AM presence. It is time for us to feel it within us, to court it, to listen to it, to enjoy it. We can toggle back and forth. This isn't ever a closed door. It is an opening up of our awareness of who we truly are and what we are capable of feeling, realizing and embodying. Like any other opening, it affords us greater and greater levels of choice and becoming.
On one of those December days when the sky and the snow are exactly the same colour, the same soft white, and the trees form a black and grey lacework between them, I choose the dance between my humanity and the divinity that makes itself more and more known to me. It is time for this now.
Yesterday I wrote of being in that space of perfect love that means that when we see the world around us, we see with the eyes of God. All day yesterday, I felt that within me. It was a love such as I have always dreamed of - a love so complete that it accepts everything that I am and loves regardless, strong, steady and sure.
This morning, I found myself thinking about the details of Christmas day with family members. I found myself dreading the inevitable clash of personalities and values that seems to occur whenever I spend time with my sister. Suddenly I was out of love. I felt it distinctly. I was out of love and instead I was intent on trying to figure out a way that I can minimize the discomfort that I anticipate on Christmas day as I try to squeeze myself into the space allowed by my family's views, expectations and beliefs.
I found myself wondering why that perfect love within me could allow me to fall into such petty thinking. Here I am contemplating heaven on Earth and God within me and then all of a sudden I'm worrying about having a pissing contest, based on every other pissing contest I've ever had, with my sister at the inevitable family gathering on Christmas day. How could that love, that wisdom that I KNOW is within me, allow this oh-so human stuff to be going on - still?!
And the answer came and it was, of course, perfect love, since it was given by perfect love.
All that is divine within me, within us, honours our totality of self-being-in-the-world so much and so perfectly, and accepts ALL that we are, every little petty and not-so-petty thing that we are, accepts it all so well that when we choose to entertain such thoughts or to delve into our fears and needs and lack and losses, it just goes right along with it. It wouldn't DREAM, not even for a moment, of saying "No" to anything that we are. The love and the acceptance are complete. The divinity within us says, "Okay, Beloved. You're that right now? Then that is what I love and that is what I honour."
And so, as usual, it is entirely up to us what we will be and what we will focus on and choose. I can surrender to that perfect love and to all that is God within me, but the instant that I choose otherwise, that love comes right along with me and says, "Okay. We're going to spend a little time fretting about the price of snow removal services right now? Okay."
And the instant that I once again turn to the perfect peace and wordless knowing of the ALL that is the I AM, the divinity within me, I'm there. It is in constant synchronicity with me, and consistently honours my choices in the world of form. There's that notion of the toggle switch again. Only this time, it has the divine seal of approval lovingly applied to it. We cannot fail God. No matter how petty or how fearful or how angry we become in the moment, we cannot fail the God that is within us, or the ALL-That-Is-is-God that surrounds us. We will be loved regardless. And that vibration of divine beingness that has become available to us now, times being what they are, will not ever remove itself from us, unless we choose that it do so. When we find ourselves entertaining thoughts that we feel no longer serve us, we have only to turn to other thoughts, to choose again, to refocus. It is a simple act of will, of choice, of intention. And it is never too much trouble, or too often that we fall, or too petty that we become.
The love that is God's love, within us and surrounding us, always honours our choices, always follows our lead. We get to choose.
It is time for us to claim our divinity, the God within us. It is time for us to fully realize our sovereignty and to own our I AM presence. It is time for us to feel it within us, to court it, to listen to it, to enjoy it. We can toggle back and forth. This isn't ever a closed door. It is an opening up of our awareness of who we truly are and what we are capable of feeling, realizing and embodying. Like any other opening, it affords us greater and greater levels of choice and becoming.
On one of those December days when the sky and the snow are exactly the same colour, the same soft white, and the trees form a black and grey lacework between them, I choose the dance between my humanity and the divinity that makes itself more and more known to me. It is time for this now.
Monday, December 6, 2010
The Eyes of God
To see others as God would see them - this is my intention. To accept others, to love them, as God accepts and as God loves - this is my choosing.
I don't know whether or not I can do this. I only know that I choose to do this. And I sense something within me that feels that allowing, that accepting. Not always. Definitely not last week! But today, yes, I can sense it within me. It is a quietness, a serenity of sorts. It is a witness, but never a judge. It is an observer, but will not interfere in the process of the other.
When I do feel it, so faintly, yet there, it seems to me to be something hard won and easily lost in the heat of the moment, in the maelstrom of my human emotions.
Over the past few days I have spent a goodly amount of time in precious solitude and in blessed silence as the snow has lovingly whitened and cushioned all the world around me in a gentle embrace. And in this peaceful space I have delved as deeply as I am able into the place within me where my base is. Down to the foundation I have gone, to check for cracks and any other signs of damage or weakness. I would offer such solidity to the world, such a surfeit of certainty, of calm, of awareness that seeks nothing, asks for nothing, needs nothing.
I once wrote that true love was not possible in the presence of need. Thus, do I seek that sure solid foundation of being in trust in self in the world, so that there is no need, so that true love, the love that God is, is possible for me.
The key here, for me, is that this love asks nothing of the beloved. No alteration is required, no change, no progress, no agreement.
So I've been holding that possibility of complete acceptance of illness, say, or pain, or disharmony, discomfort.... Complete acceptance is not complete at all if it is present within me only when life is easy. For me, this love has to include every colour on the wheel, every nuance of light and dark that exists in all of creation. For me, it has to include the sinking down into depression, as well as every joy I've ever known. So it is that the darkness of early December in these woods that surround me has made of itself a fitting accompaniment to my musings.
That's the thing about seeing through God's eyes! There is that love that is absolutely infallible, unending, unalterable, unconditional. When we say, unconditional love, we often feel it. But can we feel it when our hearts are being broken wide open? Can we feel it when we are also feeling pain in our bodies? Can we feel it when we face loss or loneliness?
I remember the morning after I had heard that my brother was dead, sitting on the couch, staring at nothing, barely breathing in the moments of not wanting to know, not even wanting to exist. And I said to myself, "This too is God's love." And I knew it was true. Didn't like it! Didn't want to know! Yet I did know. I knew that in the totality of God's love, my grief was held and loved and offered back to me in perfect truth.
In the depths of depression, that is the gem, the gift that the depression offers to us, again and again and again until finally we accept it. That very suffering, the darkness, the dead feeling, the unmoving, unfeeling numbness of it - that is the gift - that truth held and loved and offered back to us in perfect truth. "You are this. Accept it."
I don't know if any who read this will agree with me, but for me, this is now the way forward. I ask myself to embody the love of God, to see with the eyes of God. All is accepted. All is perfect whole being. Everything.
I'm not going to tell you that I've got it down pat. Far from it. But that is where I now find myself, gazing at that as a goal for myself, naming that as my intention.
Be. Know. Trust.
I don't know whether or not I can do this. I only know that I choose to do this. And I sense something within me that feels that allowing, that accepting. Not always. Definitely not last week! But today, yes, I can sense it within me. It is a quietness, a serenity of sorts. It is a witness, but never a judge. It is an observer, but will not interfere in the process of the other.
When I do feel it, so faintly, yet there, it seems to me to be something hard won and easily lost in the heat of the moment, in the maelstrom of my human emotions.
Over the past few days I have spent a goodly amount of time in precious solitude and in blessed silence as the snow has lovingly whitened and cushioned all the world around me in a gentle embrace. And in this peaceful space I have delved as deeply as I am able into the place within me where my base is. Down to the foundation I have gone, to check for cracks and any other signs of damage or weakness. I would offer such solidity to the world, such a surfeit of certainty, of calm, of awareness that seeks nothing, asks for nothing, needs nothing.
I once wrote that true love was not possible in the presence of need. Thus, do I seek that sure solid foundation of being in trust in self in the world, so that there is no need, so that true love, the love that God is, is possible for me.
The key here, for me, is that this love asks nothing of the beloved. No alteration is required, no change, no progress, no agreement.
So I've been holding that possibility of complete acceptance of illness, say, or pain, or disharmony, discomfort.... Complete acceptance is not complete at all if it is present within me only when life is easy. For me, this love has to include every colour on the wheel, every nuance of light and dark that exists in all of creation. For me, it has to include the sinking down into depression, as well as every joy I've ever known. So it is that the darkness of early December in these woods that surround me has made of itself a fitting accompaniment to my musings.
That's the thing about seeing through God's eyes! There is that love that is absolutely infallible, unending, unalterable, unconditional. When we say, unconditional love, we often feel it. But can we feel it when our hearts are being broken wide open? Can we feel it when we are also feeling pain in our bodies? Can we feel it when we face loss or loneliness?
I remember the morning after I had heard that my brother was dead, sitting on the couch, staring at nothing, barely breathing in the moments of not wanting to know, not even wanting to exist. And I said to myself, "This too is God's love." And I knew it was true. Didn't like it! Didn't want to know! Yet I did know. I knew that in the totality of God's love, my grief was held and loved and offered back to me in perfect truth.
In the depths of depression, that is the gem, the gift that the depression offers to us, again and again and again until finally we accept it. That very suffering, the darkness, the dead feeling, the unmoving, unfeeling numbness of it - that is the gift - that truth held and loved and offered back to us in perfect truth. "You are this. Accept it."
I don't know if any who read this will agree with me, but for me, this is now the way forward. I ask myself to embody the love of God, to see with the eyes of God. All is accepted. All is perfect whole being. Everything.
I'm not going to tell you that I've got it down pat. Far from it. But that is where I now find myself, gazing at that as a goal for myself, naming that as my intention.
Be. Know. Trust.
Friday, December 3, 2010
An Exalted State of Consciousness
I wrote recently of the toggle switch, toggling back and forth between consciousness of ALL and a smaller consciousness. How do we toggle? How do we get there when we are feeling stuck in our little lives, with our problems and our fears, our questions and our needs?
In the moment. We get there by being in the moment. We have to actually stop seeking and simply BE. And it helps tremendously to focus on something which simply IS. A tree, a plant, a hillside.... A rock.... These help us to ground into stillness and beingness because that is where they are. We literally take of their stillness and incorporate it into our consciousness.
At the deepest level of this state of consciousness, all separation dissolves and you experience unity consciousness - Oneness with ALL. The sense of yourself as an individual dissolves and you experience the Eternal Presence, the I AM.
Center yourself in the Now by becoming fully present with that which is fully present. What comes to mind for me, having grown up in a house filled with works of art, is the concept of a still-life painting. Why are we so taken by these works that depict a simple bowl of fruit or a vase of flowers. Still life. We are invited to become fully present with that which is fully present.
In the moment. We get there by being in the moment. We have to actually stop seeking and simply BE. And it helps tremendously to focus on something which simply IS. A tree, a plant, a hillside.... A rock.... These help us to ground into stillness and beingness because that is where they are. We literally take of their stillness and incorporate it into our consciousness.
Trillium grandiflorum
Even an image will suffice if you allow yourself to sink fully into that image. And when you have partaken fully of the stillness of this plant, become that stillness yourself, you are fully present in the Now. There is no past and no future. There is only the silence and the Now. You can do this because the plant is fully present in the Now, as is the image of it. You are here now in silence, the mind stilled. This is the exalted state of consciousness. In it is the ALL. Yet there are no words.
At the deepest level of this state of consciousness, all separation dissolves and you experience unity consciousness - Oneness with ALL. The sense of yourself as an individual dissolves and you experience the Eternal Presence, the I AM.
Center yourself in the Now by becoming fully present with that which is fully present. What comes to mind for me, having grown up in a house filled with works of art, is the concept of a still-life painting. Why are we so taken by these works that depict a simple bowl of fruit or a vase of flowers. Still life. We are invited to become fully present with that which is fully present.
Centaurea
If you can immerse yourself in its presence, you can bring yourself into the I AM consciousness in the moment, in the Now. Thoughts stop. The mind falls silent. You know only this, which is an integral part of the ALL. In this One, is ALL.
It is said that we can ascend to this, more easily now than at any other time that we have known, times being what they are. We can ascend to this, as to the high country of the world's great mountain ranges. We can ascend to this as to heights where the air is thin and the winds are too cold for us to long remain. We can ascend to this, but we cannot live here. It is said that we cannot sustain this exalted state of consciousness. For when we are in it, we literally cease to exist as individuals. The self disappears and is replaced by the I AM, by the ALL.
Yet I choose to live in this I AM consciousness! I believe that we can become this and still be selves in the world, individuated, intact, in point of presence in the moment. We can toggle back and forth when the world asks of us that we remove our presence from the eternal Now and bring it back into the illusion of separation and busy-ness. That's what I'm playing at these days.... Playing with the seemingly impossible..... Bringing into reconciliation within me the world of time and form, of needs and wants.... And the eternal stillness, the point of presence of the I AM.
And this is sacred work, this balancing act, this careful traversing of the high country, this exploration of humanity's Always and Never. And there is no map, no guidebook, no signpost here in this expanse of consciousness of the ALL. This is the reverberant stillness of the zero point field. This is the place beyond all words.
Early May woodland, Chester County, Pennsylvania
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Truth and Trust
Ouch.
It's been a rough couple of days for me. I can justify it somewhat by saying that there has been a lot for me to assimilate, a lot for me to do and a lot for me to experience and accept.
The truth of the matter is that I have been exceptionally challenged to remain in my truth and to trust.
When the emotions are flowing fast and furious within, trust in All-That-Is and know that all is well in all of creation, even if you don't understand what is taking place, or why, or how it will impact you.
I fell from trust. And my beloved soul-self is under strict instructions from the grandeur that I AM to assist me in any vibration, to match that vibration. The world around me will always do the same. So, when I fall out of trust, the world around me will show me reason after reason why everything is falling apart and trust in the process is seemingly impossible. It's like falling from grace, falling from heaven, falling from the arms of your beloved Wholeness All-Being in the World.
Ouch.
We each have our own vibration and resonance. We each have a truth that goes so far beyond words that to assign words to it does no good - they cannot serve. When we come more and more to live in integrity with that vibration and resonance it becomes more and more painful and difficult to be out of sync with it. Sometimes, people and places pull us out of sync with our own selves and our own truth.
Ouch.
There was a great wind roaring through the trees around my house all day yesterday. Grey clouds scudded overhead and the trees bent and clashed against each other in the high canopy. I went out onto the land to find what I had lost in the high wind and the scudding clouds. A terrible crash sounded deep in the woods as a tree came down. The hemlocks bent almost double in the force of the wind gusts. And I cried out from deep within myself, cried out again and again, roaring with the roaring of the wind. And I released the blocks to my being in my truth. I called to my soul-self to bring me Her clarity and bring it She did. I had fallen out of trust in myself and the consequence was painful and difficult.
Thus do I learn to navigate the high levels of energy, of light, of truth, of an imperative integrity that are surrounding us now. We can no longer stray from our own truths. Not unless we want to experience darkest nights of soul-search wandering that tear us from all comfort. We cannot fall out of trust in ourselves anymore, unless we want to trudge barren deserts of dry yearning for something, anything that will save us. Only we can save ourselves now. Look always to your knowing. Look always to your own still, small voice of divinity within. And trust.
Trust.
Trust.
It's been a rough couple of days for me. I can justify it somewhat by saying that there has been a lot for me to assimilate, a lot for me to do and a lot for me to experience and accept.
The truth of the matter is that I have been exceptionally challenged to remain in my truth and to trust.
When the emotions are flowing fast and furious within, trust in All-That-Is and know that all is well in all of creation, even if you don't understand what is taking place, or why, or how it will impact you.
I fell from trust. And my beloved soul-self is under strict instructions from the grandeur that I AM to assist me in any vibration, to match that vibration. The world around me will always do the same. So, when I fall out of trust, the world around me will show me reason after reason why everything is falling apart and trust in the process is seemingly impossible. It's like falling from grace, falling from heaven, falling from the arms of your beloved Wholeness All-Being in the World.
Ouch.
We each have our own vibration and resonance. We each have a truth that goes so far beyond words that to assign words to it does no good - they cannot serve. When we come more and more to live in integrity with that vibration and resonance it becomes more and more painful and difficult to be out of sync with it. Sometimes, people and places pull us out of sync with our own selves and our own truth.
Ouch.
There was a great wind roaring through the trees around my house all day yesterday. Grey clouds scudded overhead and the trees bent and clashed against each other in the high canopy. I went out onto the land to find what I had lost in the high wind and the scudding clouds. A terrible crash sounded deep in the woods as a tree came down. The hemlocks bent almost double in the force of the wind gusts. And I cried out from deep within myself, cried out again and again, roaring with the roaring of the wind. And I released the blocks to my being in my truth. I called to my soul-self to bring me Her clarity and bring it She did. I had fallen out of trust in myself and the consequence was painful and difficult.
Thus do I learn to navigate the high levels of energy, of light, of truth, of an imperative integrity that are surrounding us now. We can no longer stray from our own truths. Not unless we want to experience darkest nights of soul-search wandering that tear us from all comfort. We cannot fall out of trust in ourselves anymore, unless we want to trudge barren deserts of dry yearning for something, anything that will save us. Only we can save ourselves now. Look always to your knowing. Look always to your own still, small voice of divinity within. And trust.
Trust.
Trust.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Listen to Your Soul
Even Though
Even though your heart might be broken
Even though you might lose control
Let your spirit sing like the birds' song
Listen to your soul.
When you find yourself out on a road that's too long
And you don't know which way you should go
There's a feeling inside you that's coming on strong
And it's telling you what you should know.
So,
Even though your heart might be broken
Even though you might lose control
Let your spirit sing like the birds' song
Listen to your soul.
Every time that you try to hold on to the World
There's a terrible risk that you take
You could falter and fall and you could lose it all
When you try and you build up to make it.
But,
Even though your heart might be broken
Even though you might lose control
Let your spirit sing like the birds' song
Listen to your soul.
When the people around you are telling you, "No."
And it seems to be taking too long
Just remember what started you out on this path
You are heading to where you belong.
And
Even though your heart might be broken
Even though you might lose control
Let your spirit sing like the birds' song
Listen to your soul.
These are the lyrics to a song that I composed in 2000. Like many of the songs and poems which I have written over the years, this one just sort of came pouring out of me. At the time, I had just lost my job, a job I had held for fifteen years. I had also just lost my dad to complications from Parkinson's disease. Yet this song of trust in self, trust in Life, came bubbling up out of me and I wrote it down and figured out some guitar chords to go with it. Listen to your soul.
There is a whole lot of information being published these days about our way forward and the times in which we find ourselves, notably through the internet, but there's a lot of it on the television and the radio as well. It can often come to sound like a cacophony, can often come to seem overwhelming. Which way is the way forward? How shall I proceed? And what does it all mean? What is happening in the world?
Listen to your soul.
Now, more than ever, the answers that come from within are the ones which can be trusted. I feel quite strongly about this; we each are travelling on a path to union with the divine. For each of us our path is unique and sacred. Each of us is asked to listen to the wisdom of our own knowing, to hear our soul-song as it lovingly leads us from moment to moment. Yet there is more. Each of us is asked to deeply honour the path of the Other. No matter how different their path seems from our own, each of us is asked to honour the choices and free will of each person whom we encounter as we make our way through space and time to the limitless, timeless and absolutely unspeakable presence of God.
It is not always easy to do this. Yet it is this openness, this love for each Other, that we are being asked to give. And it is this acceptance, this allowance, this honouring of the Other that allows us to travel our road in his or her company. And I've said it before, and I'll say it again here, now. Let us not let words, labels, catch phrases, get in the way of our loving, our acceptance, our embodiment of these essential attributes of the divine - unconditional love, gratitude, compassion, acceptance, appreciation, enjoyment, forgiveness, honouring.....
These are the times in which we live. We are coming into a greater awareness of what it means to be human. All that we are and all that we have ever been comes into the light now. It comes into the light to be seen, to cast a beautiful shadow of darkness, to make itself known to us, and to ask for our blessing. And as we bless ourselves with understanding and compassion, let us bless our companions in the same way. And as we love and honour ourselves, let us love and honour our companions.
Listen to your soul. Your inner truth is the voice of the divine within you. And as you listen to this voice, small, like the chattering of small winter birds, soft, like the stirring of beech leaves in a soft south wind, sweet, like the love emanating from your own sweet heart, you hear the will of the divine within you. And as you honour this voice, you step into divine will and into timeless being. And into trust. And into surrender. And into acceptance. And into love.
And your neighbour does the same. Your friend does the same. Your spouse, your child, your mother or father - all do the same.
Sometimes, it seems that our paths diverge, that one turns right while the other moves straight ahead, or shifts to the left. But I tell you this, we are all on a good road, the perfect road for us. We are all underway and making good progress and coming closer and closer to the All, the unspeakable, indefinable....
Even though your heart might be broken
Even though you might lose control
Let your spirit sing like the birds' song
Listen to your soul.
When you find yourself out on a road that's too long
And you don't know which way you should go
There's a feeling inside you that's coming on strong
And it's telling you what you should know.
So,
Even though your heart might be broken
Even though you might lose control
Let your spirit sing like the birds' song
Listen to your soul.
Every time that you try to hold on to the World
There's a terrible risk that you take
You could falter and fall and you could lose it all
When you try and you build up to make it.
But,
Even though your heart might be broken
Even though you might lose control
Let your spirit sing like the birds' song
Listen to your soul.
When the people around you are telling you, "No."
And it seems to be taking too long
Just remember what started you out on this path
You are heading to where you belong.
And
Even though your heart might be broken
Even though you might lose control
Let your spirit sing like the birds' song
Listen to your soul.
These are the lyrics to a song that I composed in 2000. Like many of the songs and poems which I have written over the years, this one just sort of came pouring out of me. At the time, I had just lost my job, a job I had held for fifteen years. I had also just lost my dad to complications from Parkinson's disease. Yet this song of trust in self, trust in Life, came bubbling up out of me and I wrote it down and figured out some guitar chords to go with it. Listen to your soul.
There is a whole lot of information being published these days about our way forward and the times in which we find ourselves, notably through the internet, but there's a lot of it on the television and the radio as well. It can often come to sound like a cacophony, can often come to seem overwhelming. Which way is the way forward? How shall I proceed? And what does it all mean? What is happening in the world?
Listen to your soul.
Now, more than ever, the answers that come from within are the ones which can be trusted. I feel quite strongly about this; we each are travelling on a path to union with the divine. For each of us our path is unique and sacred. Each of us is asked to listen to the wisdom of our own knowing, to hear our soul-song as it lovingly leads us from moment to moment. Yet there is more. Each of us is asked to deeply honour the path of the Other. No matter how different their path seems from our own, each of us is asked to honour the choices and free will of each person whom we encounter as we make our way through space and time to the limitless, timeless and absolutely unspeakable presence of God.
It is not always easy to do this. Yet it is this openness, this love for each Other, that we are being asked to give. And it is this acceptance, this allowance, this honouring of the Other that allows us to travel our road in his or her company. And I've said it before, and I'll say it again here, now. Let us not let words, labels, catch phrases, get in the way of our loving, our acceptance, our embodiment of these essential attributes of the divine - unconditional love, gratitude, compassion, acceptance, appreciation, enjoyment, forgiveness, honouring.....
These are the times in which we live. We are coming into a greater awareness of what it means to be human. All that we are and all that we have ever been comes into the light now. It comes into the light to be seen, to cast a beautiful shadow of darkness, to make itself known to us, and to ask for our blessing. And as we bless ourselves with understanding and compassion, let us bless our companions in the same way. And as we love and honour ourselves, let us love and honour our companions.
Listen to your soul. Your inner truth is the voice of the divine within you. And as you listen to this voice, small, like the chattering of small winter birds, soft, like the stirring of beech leaves in a soft south wind, sweet, like the love emanating from your own sweet heart, you hear the will of the divine within you. And as you honour this voice, you step into divine will and into timeless being. And into trust. And into surrender. And into acceptance. And into love.
And your neighbour does the same. Your friend does the same. Your spouse, your child, your mother or father - all do the same.
Sometimes, it seems that our paths diverge, that one turns right while the other moves straight ahead, or shifts to the left. But I tell you this, we are all on a good road, the perfect road for us. We are all underway and making good progress and coming closer and closer to the All, the unspeakable, indefinable....
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Light and the Dark
Sonnet #2
Oh, song of night, create outspoken day
And it shall spring from nothingness the way
That All-that-Is is only for its not.
For this we know, thought it is never taught,
That in sweet bloom, the fruit begins to rot,
The bubbling stew contained by metal pot,
And birds’ free flight informs our earthiness.
What’s more is more when something else is less,
And in some hurrying figure, stillness lies.
The largely laughing man hides infant’s cries.
Clean mountains draw from clustered dusty plain,
As sanity builds walls with the insane.
So sing! Spontaneous dream in unfelt, unknown night
Begins the world again; from dark flows light.
When there was only One, One chose to know Self, to know Being. That choice was of Love. The One, in that instant, was infinitely fragmented into the Many. And in all of the beingness of the Many there was the yes and the no, the right and the left, the up and the down.... the light and the dark.
The light and the dark played together with great joy. Their love for each other knew no bounds and their devotion to each other was total. They knew themselves to be two parts of a whole so sacred that all of creation would hush to listen to the whispered rumour of its secrets. All of the world, in its seasons, its night and day, its highest heights and its deepest depths, danced to the song composed by the light and by the dark. A great being and becoming was engendered through the love that these two felt, each for the other and each for the Whole.
The light sang of choosing, of will and reaching out into the world. The darkness sang of being, of reception of all the world's gifts, of holding All within. Together, they sang a song of polarity, of yes and no, in perfect harmony and service, each to the other and each to the Whole.
The light saw the fruits of its willfulness in the world. It saw the clamour for more, for more, and always for more. It saw the strength of will used to enslave and oppress others. It held this with a terrible mourning cry forming in its core. The light saw so much that was so difficult to see. It suffered greatly through its sight and its knowing of what the will and the choosing had created.
The dark felt such compassion for the light. The dark held as much of the suffering of the light as it could. The dark, so receptive, so able to hold within itself these truths, these parts of the All, took more and more of this upon itself. And it did this because it loved the light with all of its being. It served the Whole and offered itself in this way over and over and over again, and always in love.
The dark took into itself so much that was of cruelty, of suffering, of fear and loathing, of hatred and vengeance and death. It did this as a great service to the light which it loved with All of itself. The light felt lighter and less encumbered by these things. It turned ever more toward the joy and the laughter, the spring flowers and the innocence of the children. It came to feel a revulsion toward the dark, holding as it did all of the pain and suffering and selfishness and willful cruelty of the world within its core.
The light forgot the incredible act of love that the dark had offered. The light forgot the suffering it had endured and the way that the dark had gently and consistently taken all of that suffering within itself, so as to ease and comfort the light. The light forgot the great love that the dark had for it. The light forgot that once it had also loved the dark as much as that. The light pulled away from the dark, first in simple reaction to the weight of the suffering that the dark held in service to the Whole, and later, in horror, revulsion and hatred of the dark. For if the dark held all of that within itself, surely it must be made of that! The dark must be cruel and fearful and filled with hate, since it held all of that within itself.
The dark continued, for century after century, for eon after eon, to hold these for the light. It continued to suffer and mourn. It did this in service to the light, so that the light could be all else, could be all that was not fear and hatred, pain and violence brought to the world. The light forgot its essential kinship with the dark. It repudiated its own essential nature. The light and the dark were so completely opposed to each other that it seemed that they could never come back into Wholeness, never embrace each other in love again.
Yet they can. And they must. And the time is now for this reunion to come to the world. And it begins within each one of us. And it changes all the world.
All the world is changed by the realization that the darkness loves the light, serves the light, holds All that it can for the light, so that the light can dance and play in joy. When the light accepts the incredible gift that the darkness has given over all of these centuries and eons, the darkness is redeemed. And wholeness is returned to the world.
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