Being a Divine Human on Planet Earth

My long journey to this way of being has taken place over many years. Decades have passed and during those decades, I have been fascinated by what it means to be human. It began with poetry and psychology and I have not stopped since that time, but have steadfastly gone deeper and deeper into the mystery of being human, which means being both infinite and limited, eternal and mortal, divine and despairingly separated from Source.

I remember moving to a new shared residence, living on a communal farm in south-eastern Ontario in the early 1980's. I was looking at what treasures might be found on the communal bookshelves. I remember saying to myself, "I choose to be wise, and so I will read these books that I see here, Sartre and Camus, Rollo May and Aldous Huxley. All my adult life, I have sought such wisdom as I could find in any situation, in every situation. And deeper and deeper I have gone into the mystery of the human condition.

Whether one is a Christian or a Jew, a Muslim, a Bhuddist, a yogi, or an extra-terrestrial, there is a fundamental truth that all of us navigate and do our best to come to terms with. We are not God and yet we continually aspire to God. We are separate from the world and we struggle within the unbearable context of our essential separation.

This struggle is in itself a testament to our divinity. We would not seek if we did not somehow know that which we seek.  Indeed, we are divine. We are God voluntarily separated from God so that we can look out and see God. We are mirror. We are frame. We are the absolutely priceless gift of the experience of being human and in every moment we are giving this gift to God, to Source, to Creator.

And this incredibly courageous and precious gift that we are, in our very being, is so perfect that it is time now for us to rejoin our consciousness of being God also. Our divine and eternal souls are ready to reunite with us. This merging of the human and the divine is happening now. Call it what you will; there are many many names for this.

I will write more soon of the various words which we beloved humans have attached to this reunion with our own divinity. For now, breathe deeply and know the profound perfection of the service that your consciousness and your heart's truth have provided to the ALL.

New Understanding, Greater and Greater Love

I continue to look back at the journey that brought me to this time, this moment and all that I am now.

The wisdom and compassion that I found so soothing and so enlightening in the channelled words of Those of Q'uo led me to consider other channelled information that I would have ignored and even belittled only six months earlier.

I joined a small group of spiritually-minded people in a 'Spirit Circle' where once a month we would sit and share our growth and becoming, our insights and challenges as we sought to become ever more clearly a voice for our own spirit and for the spirit of ALL that is in all things. The organizer of this monthly gathering was a man named Ji. He spoke the word Ascension in a way that made me want to know more. He brought to my attention the channelled words of Tobias, channelled through a man named Geoffrey Hoppe in Colorado. I began to study the channelled words of Tobias and found a way forward for myself there.

Those of Q'uo had given me the feeling that I wanted to embody more and more. Tobias gave me the background, the story that allowed my human mind to work its way slowly to that vast, limitless feeling of love and peace, of honouring and of witnessing the world with limitless compassion that is the resonant vibration, for me, of Those of Q'uo.

Tobias would invite other beings to join him in the channelling of energy and information. He invited Archangels Michael and Rafael, Gabriel and Uriel and he invited Einstein, St. Germaine and Kwan Yin. He invited God and His divine embodiment, or son, on Earth, Yeshua Ben Joseph. When I read the channelled words of Yeshua Ben Joseph, I could feel myself vibrating, like a bell that has been struck. And all that I read, I took in and used my own discerning intelligence with, so that over time, I took what resonated for me and left the rest for others, for there are as many ways to reach this perfect Center of the infinite Circle of Being and Becoming as there are human beings on this planet at any given moment. And each of those beings and each of those ways of reaching the Divine is perfect and whole and sacred.

So, there I was, following my own particular path, for years. From early 2007 until the summer of 2010, I soaked up everything I could find that rung that bell within me, that bell of love for ALL, of compassion and joy and sacred Union with all that is. And I struggled a great deal as well, for all that is not that love and not that joy within me, within my life, within my experience weighed very heavily on me.

One night, in the middle of the night as I lay in sadness and despair on my bed in the darkness, I called to Yeshua Ben Joseph and He was there as surely as this computer screen is in front of me right now. He was there with a love and a light so powerful that I was greatly comforted and knew again so clearly the way forward for me. I said, "I would like to embody the Love that You Are! I would like to bring that Love into the world." And the answer that I got back was, "And so you do. What I am, you are also." And I could feel it. And I just let it sink into me and did my best to become that love and that light so that I could then recall it, remember it. Ever since that night, I have known that my path through this shift of the ages, my path into the experience of Ascension, whatever that ultimately reveals itself to be, includes my devotion to Yeshua and my vast and unending love for the energy that is Yeshua.

I have been doing the best that I possibly can since the summer of 2010 to embody and realize the divine that I am as I follow the light that is Christalline, the light and love that is the Christ on this Earth. I call this love and light Yeshua. Call it whatever you will. It is this that moves me, inspires me, challenges me, informs me, enlightens me and provides the sense for me of what my service is at this time. Words cannot convey the experience of it. They can only touch the surface of it, the edges of it. That will have to be enough.

The divine that I am and the divine that you are are needed now in the World. This I know to be true. It is time.

Earth Changes

I will continue for just a few more posts with the story how I came to hold the beliefs and energies that I hold today.

In 2000, my world fell apart. I lost my job, my father and my brother in the space of two months. I was devastated. I stopped looking for miracles, stopped seeing grace and struggled just to get through each day. Yet, even then, I said with determination, "This too is the love of the Goddess." I did not lose my faith, but I did lose my will to continue. I wanted more than anything to join my brother on the other side of the veil. He and I were very close. I always felt that he was the only person in the world who really understood me and saw me clearly. And I always felt loved while he was in the world. When he was gone, I wanted to leave too. Yet, I stayed. My family had already been though the suicide death of my younger brother as well as the deaths in 2000 and I swore I wouldn't put any of them through any more grief.

So, I began a sort of pilgrimage back to joy. It took years and there were many challenges, not the least of which were health problems, a six month struggle with Lyme Disease, and moving to the United States to take on a new job.

In Chester County, Pennsylvania, I met the man who is now my husband and we began a slow courtship and the measured, wary building of a friendship. I was afraid, terribly afraid, to love anyone. Those men I had loved, my father, my brothers, had died. Still, my husband is a patient man, a man used to taking his time and meeting challenges with courage. On the day after our wedding in September of 2005, I was showing my mother and friend around the neighbourhood where I then lived in Pennsylvania and took them into a Whole Foods store and cafe. I loved that place! They had books and medicinal herbs as well as healthy organic foods. I was leaving the store, my guests just ahead of me, when a book in a liquidation basket literally fell into my hands. It was on clearance sale for the price of $3.00. It was called Earth Changes and was written by a woman whom I had read before, Diane Stein. I dug into my pocket and pulled out all that I had, which was $3.00. I bought the book.

When I had finished devouring that book from cover to cover, I checked the date on its copyright notice. It had been published quite some time before and was delving into a very timely subject, being the imminent approach of the year 2012. I decided to do something that I had never done before. I decided to search the internet for references to earth changes and to 2012. I used the internet at that time just for email and to buy things from amazon.com. I had heard that if you spent too much time on the internet, you'd get viruses in  your computer, and I had never liked being in front of a screen for too long. I preferred to be out of doors. I was one of those people who came late to really making full use of the internet. Never-the-less, in autumn of 2005, I began to search for more up-to-date information on earth changes and the predictions of events to come in 2012.

There is a lot out there. Most of it, in my opinion, was a bunch of fear-mongering crap. I wanted nothing to do with it. Yet, that book had fallen into my hands from a seemingly secure spot on a clearance rack shelf. There had to be something out there for me to find. So I kept looking. I used my discernment. I've always had a strong and active bullshit detector and it came in very handy.

I came across the name of David Wilcock. Most of what he had to say didn't interest me, but his website led me to another one. This was the website of a non-profit group called L&L Research. The L's were acronyms for Love and Light. A woman was channelling an extra-terrestrial group called Those of Q'uo. It was pretty far out there for me, but something was pulling me toward it. I read a little bit of one of the archived channelling sessions and I was intrigued and somehow answered, somehow at home.

I began to delve into the archived question and answer sessions. They contained something more and more precious to me. It wasn't the words, which quite frankly, were slow, repetitive and only sometimes interesting. It was the perspective of off-world intelligence and more than that, it was the energy behind the words, strongly felt by me every time I sat in front of the computer screen and read from what had been channelled. This group, Those of Q'uo, honour the free will of Earth's humanity so completely that they wouldn't even speak unless it was to answer a question and every answer was offered with the caveat that the listener or the later reader use his or her discernment to take in only what resonated completely with their own sense of truth and relevancy. The energy of honouring and of unconditional love was strongly felt by me and I drank it in. I felt that I had found what my higher self had wanted me to find when that book fell into my hands.

It wasn't really about earth changes. It was indeed about the year 2012, but only as a marker, as a signal to us here on this planet that we are doing something extraordinary now. It is not solely because it is the year 2012 that we are doing this, although our galaxy is very much a part of our transition at this time. It is within us. It is a quickening, a coming to truth, an awakening, a transition to a new age. I was brought into awareness of all of this by the simple fact that on the day after my wedding, a book fell into my hands.

I highly recommend that you sample from the 2005 channelled session archives at the L & L research site. Reading from that site changed me; it changed my energy. And I am so grateful! I don't care if channelled stuff is seen as being wonky in some way. It helped me. It might help you.

More to come in another post.

My Path - Exploring Alternatives

As I came into adulthood the world seemed to open up before me and I began to explore it.

I sensed the vast array of paths before me and chose carefully where I would go. It had to feel right. It had to feel true. I suspect that many of us choose this carefully, especially when we are young.

I followed paths of poetry and philosophy, psychology and music. I followed folklore and the wisdom of country people living simple lives close to the ground, close to Earth's own wisdom and truth.

My passionate desire to be on the land in love was an expression of my great love for the Earth itself, and I followed this path, this devotion, steadily all through the years.

I no longer struggled with the teachings and words of the organized Christian congregations. I chose to explore alternatives.

I was introduced to the ideas and energies of Wiccan reclaiming traditions in the late 1980's, when I was in my late 20's. I liked the free and loving raising of my sights to the divine as conceived by me. Wicca is an anarchic and free-spirited path and this appealed to me very much. I began to explore this path in earnest.

Wiccan practices have only one central principle or rule which must be followed and it is a simple, but profound one that reaches out in every direction and cannot be ignored in its power and its simplicity. As long as it harms no one, do as you will.

I studied this principle for a long time, over many years. I also began to delve deeply into various words that go along with this idea; words like 'freedom,' and phrases like 'free will,' came to occupy my conscious thoughts. I thought for a very long time, and did a great deal of feeling as well, about the word 'love.'

Wiccan practices center on the seasons of the year and the slow progression through the rebirth of spring, into the fullness and accomplishments of summer and autumn and then to the inevitable death and decay of late autumn and winter. The winter solstice marks the great turning point from the descent into endings and loss and letting go, the darkness, mystery and despair of deep winter, to the return of the light and the ascent into new beginnings, new awareness, enlightenment and joy. I explored these deeply meaningful themes over many years and came to a great love for the divinity that exists in the world and in its every mood and season.

Wicca also invites the working of one's own creative will. There is a sense of being able to bring one's vision of what can be into one's awareness with clarity and then releasing this vision out into the world with one's will and love. As long as it harms no one, my will be done. I practiced this working of my will and enjoyed the practice. There was the sense that I do make a difference in the world, just through my choices. I began to gather with a small group of friends and do 'Earth Healing' work, where we would share our visions for a clean environment and peace on this beautiful planet and then send those visions out into the world with joy.

Wiccan tradition focuses on the female principle of the divine. So Goddess replaced the troublesome God of the Christian tradition that I had grown up with and I was able to embrace Her with all of my heart and soul as a much needed balance in the world to the male energy of the Christian God.

Over more than a decade, I called to the Goddess by many names and came to feel and know more and more Her presence. I lived then in the grace of Her love and a wisdom that is older than the world.

My Path - Beginnings

I feel that it would be beneficial perhaps to some who read this blog to know where I come from, what beliefs and attitudes I have held. Perhaps in this way some can see their own stories reflected in mine, or can see that we have travelled similar paths.

I began as the daughter of a very intellectual and atheist father and a Christian mother. My mother was not devout; she used the United Church of Canada as a community that she could feel she belonged in. However, my mother did take me Sunday School when I was very young. Later, at my father's insistence, she gave all of us, myself and my three brothers and two sisters the choice of attending church or not. I chose to attend church with my mother sometimes. I liked the feeling of Him in that place when I was young. I didn't like the words used though, not then and not later. Words were extraneous and inadequate and just in the way, as far as I was concerned. I liked to sit in complete silence, in that all-too-brief pause between the moment when the minister said, "Let us pray," and when he began to speak the standard prayers of the United Church of Canada.

When I was about sixteen years old, my older brothers had been away at a boarding school in the countryside and I decided that I would also like to attend that co-educational school. My brother John had told me that the classes were more challenging and interesting than what was offered at the public high school in Dorval, Quebec, where I lived. I liked the idea of being challenged because I was bored silly and a straight A student. There was nothing for me to learn in the high school near my parents' house, at least, that is how I decided it was for me. In truth, I missed the gymnastics instruction and the music instruction, both of which were lacking at Bishop's College School. Still, I decided to go to the boarding school. Most of my classmates were drinking beer and smoking cigarettes and marijuana and I didn't want to waste my time with that.

At Bishop's, morning chapel attendance was required and there was a long service every Sunday which we had to attend also. My brother John had advised me to join the choir to make all of this compulsory church attendance less burdensome. I was very glad that I followed his advice.

We were a choir of 150 voices and we sang almost the entire service, from prayer responses to psalms and hymns. We sang the Creed and everything else, except the daily lessons and the weekly sermon. I loved the choir singing and I loved the harmonies that filled me with joy. We often sang in six part harmony; having so many voices and an experienced and accomplished choir director allowed for that.

As I sang, of course, I became more and more aware of the words that I was singing. The Creed especially became difficult for me to sing. I did not consider myself to be a sinner in need of salvation. I did not consider the Christ to be my 'Lord.' I am sovereign and felt myself to be sovereign even then.
So, I changed the words! I changed the word Jesus to the word Life. I changed the word Lord to the word Life. I didn't sing the changed words, of course, but I said them to myself. I decided then that I would create my own relationship with the most beloved Creator and Source, with the Christ who was pure love and light.

I Love the World

I love the world and that is all.

Having said that, I would like to explore here the journey that has brought me to say that I love the world.

I love the world with an energy that is mysterious to me. It is a love, an unconditional love, that lives within me, palpable, visceral and pulsing. I attend to it as to an infinitely precious treasure, and it is only  now, in my fifty-third year that I understand that I am here for this, only this. Any expression of my love for the world furthers my soul's purpose here on this planet at this time.

I will explore this love, the divine energy behind and within it, and how I became this emanation, in posts to come.



I love the world when it is blue flowers against blue rocks in my garden.