I am practicing leaving behind all of the ‘what if's?’ You see, I have a tendency to project into the future and then worry about how it will be. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not there yet; I'm right here, right now. So, I am practicing turning away from everything that is NOT this moment and turning toward a total appreciation for this moment. Words limit it. It's a feeling of complete acceptance. I’m moving a bit away from words as well, from the mind's constant stream-of-consciousness chatter. I love to move with the changes. I love to be in moments of intensity because they stop the flow of chatter from the mind. Meditation does this. Exercise and breathing do this too.
I come into deeper and more direct contact with my soul-self. It began when I remembered the contact that we had, my soul-self and I, when I was very young – sitting in the back seat of the car and singing an improvised hum to the world – and when I remembered that, my soul-self was there, very strongly. And that is what I build my relationship with my soul-self on. There was a strong memory of what I used to call the fairy-trees, the hawthornes, and I asked Her why this came to me so strongly, and She told me, ‘That was where it began – we together.’ And I knew it to be so and I cried with the strength of my feeling. I told Her how much I love Her presence in my consciousness. We commune together. I never want it to stop and if I am too busy to spend long moments of peace in the divine moment, I lose that sense of my soul-self, of the divinity within me.
Look for it where you find it. Breathe and feel it and then sidle over to it and breathe again and just get closer and closer until you're right beside that part of you that is of the Divine.
One morning, at 3:00 am, trying to fight the depression that then filled me and to understand what had happened to me and where I should now move myself, I called upon the one known as Jesus, the Messiah. He came. His energy was so incredibly strong in me and around me. His divinity was so strongly apparent to me! Such a comfort and a guide was He. Oh, yes. Capital letters. I suddenly was able to feel my own divinity more clearly than I ever had. It was still very young and fragile and small compared to the divine energy of He, who was also called Yeshua Ben Joseph, but it was there! And by feeling His divinity, I was able to recognize that energy in myself.
It’s all about energy. These things of the body, of the three dimensional world, are not at all the issue. It’s all about energy. I pick up the energy of the people around me and I probably will continue to do so, but I also generate my own energy. I know too, so gratefully, that there have been times when I have given my energy to others; a child, a friend…. Oh, yes, I have, and I am so grateful to have been of service. My intention is to be of service to at least one other person every single day, just by giving them some of my energy which is, hopefully, clear, accepting, loving and compassionate.
You and I are no different than Yeshua Ben Joseph, aka Jesus the Christ, the one so many people have turned to. When we generate the energy of complete acceptance, of unconditional love and of total and complete compassion, we actually embody the divine energy of the Christ. We can do this. We do this when we love. You know what I mean. We've all had those moments when we just gave from the heart to another human being because we had it in us to give. Maybe it was our child, or our best friend or our mother, father or sister.... We've all known the vast limitless feeling of that energy of giving to another. Your divinity in you is as real and as perfect as His divinity in Him. It's just that we don't necessarily see it that way. We see ourselves as little humans struggling along.
Breathing really really helps. Being in the Now helps. Spending time in nature helps. Having time to just BE for nice long stretches of time helps. I feel my divinity deepening within me – or I’m becoming more aware of something that was already there – I’m not entirely sure, nor do I think it really matters. My humanity and my divinity are becoming integrated within me. And yes, this is entirely new. But that's okay, right? We can go somewhere new .....
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