Not Knowing

Feeling. Not knowing. Feeling is the way forward.

When we try to figure it out, try to put words to it in endless permutations of this/that and that/this, we cover it, obfuscate it, obliterate it.

What is this thing that we feel, but should not try to know with our minds? What is this .... something that we cannot fully perceive and do not understand, but which permeates our being now?

It is change. It is becoming. It is the World-Whole and we along with it - Whole Being Self. It is Divine Being in the World.

Let it be.

Let your sense of self expand into this not knowing. It is liberating. Not having to know means that we can expand into it without words. Words would limit it to the point that it would cease to be what it flowingly is anyway.

One morning, back in Pennsylvania, I walked at dawn up a steep hillside road and as I walked by a hay meadow, saw a deer back on its far side, large and alive in the dawn. She had already heard me and stood attentively, those huge ears focused on me. I stood absolutely still for long seconds, held by my wanting to behold her, and the young one behind her, a split-second late in staying its small young body into immobility. I too was utterly stopped and still, wordless, in that instant, just to experience the doe and her fawn in the silvery dawn light. And in that timeless time there was nothing else -  no thought, no movement, no before and no afterward.

And that is what I am talking about here. No words. No movement to or from. No thing at all besides this Whole-World Becoming that we are not in any way separate from. In a very real sense, there is only this. And when we speak of God, it is this of which we speak. When I write of the ALL, it is this of which I write.

I AM not knowing. I breathe and I AM.

I feel. I love. I sing long notes in the morning.

Not knowing.