I have written of the process of coming into full acceptance of all that we are and all that we have been. I have written of coming into a love of self so unconditional and inclusive that it is the way that God loves us. I have expressed my belief that it is this process of coming to love ourselves and accept ourselves, in all of our aspects and ways of being, that frees us to become the selves we choose to be in our best moments of wisdom and clarity.
It has come to my attention that this process extends to the other people in our lives as well. Co-workers who threaten our position, employers who seem to undervalue us, siblings who seem to misunderstand us, who remind us of what we were twenty years ago, children who challenge us, spouses who sometimes seem to hold us back from all that we could be. All of these. All of these are ours to come into complete acceptance with. It is for us to do the work of clearing our reactions of ego-based need and fear of lack to the ways in which the people around us have been with us. Only by doing this can we see these people as God sees them. Only by doing this can we see these people with the clarity and compassion that we seek within ourselves. It is hard work and measured only by one's own integrity with one's self.
Hard work indeed. I find myself in the thick of it these days.
I am using as my template the process that I use with my own self as I seek to come into complete love and acceptance of self. So, when someone does something that 'pushes one of my buttons' that is the cue. That is the signal that I have work to do. The work is to look at what I am feeling, as a reaction to what this person has done or said, or not done, or failed to say. Then with unfailing courage and complete honesty, I must identify why my reaction is what it is. I must then accept that within myself. Do I still need his or her approval, after all these years! Do I fear the loss of this person from my life? Do I fear falling out of favour with him or her? Would that cost me dearly? What do I need or fear to lose, that I react as I do? That must be known to me, named by me, accepted completely and honoured as yet another life experience, adding to the unique and perfect store of such experiences, all of which have made me what I am.
That acceptance then extends to the other person. Acceptance of what this person has been for me. Acceptance of all that they are in my experience, all that they have done and said. Deep breathing helps with this.
Acceptance becomes respect and an honouring of the other person in their being and their choices. I find this to be the easiest for me, but it might feel different for you. Finally, appreciation and thankfulness for the other person's presence in my life leads to unconditional love for the other. I don't have to like all of their behaviours to love them as God also. Then, I release the other person from my expectations and my ego-based needs and fear of lack or loss.
For me, this process, although very challenging, is necessary now. I have chosen to hold the light of unconditional love and compassion for ALL within me. This requires complete clarity. Clarity requires clearing of all that is not love and compassion. And it is only through coming into this honouring, this appreciation, and this love that I can release the other and be in turn released. If there is anything, anyone which we still have a 'problem' with, it will remain in our lives, in our awareness as a problem. We are not free from our 'problems', or from any person or situation until we have gone through this process of releasing through acceptance, honouring, gratitude and appreciation. There is no short-cut here. And I feel quite strongly that it is time now, as I seek resolution of all that is not love, to release all of these so-called problems and allow the light and the love that is God on Earth to fill me.
Breathing helps. Honesty with myself helps. But it's hard work and I'll not try to make it seem otherwise. It's work that requires strength of character and courage. We need to face all that is within us that is not completely accepting, honouring and loving.
And for those of you who read this and count me as a friend, know that a hug would not go amiss! Sometimes, it still just hurts!
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