God Within

Piles of fluffy white snow fell through the day yesterday and through the night. I awoke to delight in the change. My world is now white and black and grey. These are the colours of duality. The white and the black signify the positive and the negative. The grey is the space between them, the third element that allows for the existence of the two poles of experience.

Yesterday I wrote of being in that space of perfect love that means that when we see the world around us, we see with the eyes of God. All day yesterday, I felt that within me. It was a love such as I have always dreamed of - a love so complete that it accepts everything that I am and loves regardless, strong, steady and sure.

This morning, I found myself thinking about the details of Christmas day with family members. I found myself dreading the inevitable clash of personalities and values that seems to occur whenever I spend time with my sister. Suddenly I was out of love. I felt it distinctly. I was out of love and instead I was intent on trying to figure out a way that I can minimize the discomfort that I anticipate on Christmas day as I try to squeeze myself into the space allowed by my family's views, expectations and beliefs.

I found myself wondering why that perfect love within me could allow me to fall into such petty thinking. Here I am contemplating heaven on Earth and God within me and then all of a sudden I'm worrying about having a pissing contest, based on every other pissing contest I've ever had, with my sister at the inevitable family gathering on Christmas day. How could that love, that wisdom that I KNOW is within me, allow this oh-so human stuff to be going on - still?!

And the answer came and it was, of course, perfect love, since it was given by perfect love.

All that is divine within me, within us, honours our totality of self-being-in-the-world so much and so perfectly, and accepts ALL that we are, every little petty and not-so-petty thing that we are, accepts it all so well that when we choose to entertain such thoughts or to delve into our fears and needs and lack and losses, it just goes right along with it. It wouldn't DREAM, not even for a moment, of saying "No" to anything that we are. The love and the acceptance are complete. The divinity within us says, "Okay, Beloved. You're that right now? Then that is what I love and that is what I honour."
And so, as usual, it is entirely up to us what we will be and what we will focus on and choose. I can surrender to that perfect love and to all that is God within me, but the instant that I choose otherwise, that love comes right along with me and says, "Okay. We're going to spend a little time fretting about the price of snow removal services right now? Okay."

And the instant that I once again turn to the perfect peace and wordless knowing of the ALL that is the I AM, the divinity within me, I'm there. It is in constant synchronicity with me, and consistently honours my choices in the world of form. There's that notion of the toggle switch again. Only this time, it has the divine seal of approval lovingly applied to it. We cannot fail God. No matter how petty or how fearful or how angry we become in the moment, we cannot fail the God that is within us, or the ALL-That-Is-is-God that surrounds us. We will be loved regardless. And that vibration of divine beingness that has become available to us now, times being what they are, will not ever remove itself from us, unless we choose that it do so. When we find ourselves entertaining thoughts that we feel no longer serve us, we have only to turn to other thoughts, to choose again, to refocus. It is a simple act of will, of choice, of intention. And it is never too much trouble, or too often that we fall, or too petty that we become.

The love that is God's love, within us and surrounding us, always honours our choices, always follows our lead. We get to choose.

It is time for us to claim our divinity, the God within us. It is time for us to fully realize our sovereignty and to own our I AM presence. It is time for us to feel it within us, to court it, to listen to it, to enjoy it. We can toggle back and forth. This isn't ever a closed door. It is an opening up of our awareness of who we truly are and what we are capable of feeling, realizing and embodying. Like any other opening, it affords us greater and greater levels of choice and becoming.

On one of those December days when the sky and the snow are exactly the same colour, the same soft white, and the trees form a black and grey lacework between them, I choose the dance between my humanity and the divinity that makes itself more and more known to me. It is time for this now.