Earth Changes

I will continue for just a few more posts with the story how I came to hold the beliefs and energies that I hold today.

In 2000, my world fell apart. I lost my job, my father and my brother in the space of two months. I was devastated. I stopped looking for miracles, stopped seeing grace and struggled just to get through each day. Yet, even then, I said with determination, "This too is the love of the Goddess." I did not lose my faith, but I did lose my will to continue. I wanted more than anything to join my brother on the other side of the veil. He and I were very close. I always felt that he was the only person in the world who really understood me and saw me clearly. And I always felt loved while he was in the world. When he was gone, I wanted to leave too. Yet, I stayed. My family had already been though the suicide death of my younger brother as well as the deaths in 2000 and I swore I wouldn't put any of them through any more grief.

So, I began a sort of pilgrimage back to joy. It took years and there were many challenges, not the least of which were health problems, a six month struggle with Lyme Disease, and moving to the United States to take on a new job.

In Chester County, Pennsylvania, I met the man who is now my husband and we began a slow courtship and the measured, wary building of a friendship. I was afraid, terribly afraid, to love anyone. Those men I had loved, my father, my brothers, had died. Still, my husband is a patient man, a man used to taking his time and meeting challenges with courage. On the day after our wedding in September of 2005, I was showing my mother and friend around the neighbourhood where I then lived in Pennsylvania and took them into a Whole Foods store and cafe. I loved that place! They had books and medicinal herbs as well as healthy organic foods. I was leaving the store, my guests just ahead of me, when a book in a liquidation basket literally fell into my hands. It was on clearance sale for the price of $3.00. It was called Earth Changes and was written by a woman whom I had read before, Diane Stein. I dug into my pocket and pulled out all that I had, which was $3.00. I bought the book.

When I had finished devouring that book from cover to cover, I checked the date on its copyright notice. It had been published quite some time before and was delving into a very timely subject, being the imminent approach of the year 2012. I decided to do something that I had never done before. I decided to search the internet for references to earth changes and to 2012. I used the internet at that time just for email and to buy things from amazon.com. I had heard that if you spent too much time on the internet, you'd get viruses in  your computer, and I had never liked being in front of a screen for too long. I preferred to be out of doors. I was one of those people who came late to really making full use of the internet. Never-the-less, in autumn of 2005, I began to search for more up-to-date information on earth changes and the predictions of events to come in 2012.

There is a lot out there. Most of it, in my opinion, was a bunch of fear-mongering crap. I wanted nothing to do with it. Yet, that book had fallen into my hands from a seemingly secure spot on a clearance rack shelf. There had to be something out there for me to find. So I kept looking. I used my discernment. I've always had a strong and active bullshit detector and it came in very handy.

I came across the name of David Wilcock. Most of what he had to say didn't interest me, but his website led me to another one. This was the website of a non-profit group called L&L Research. The L's were acronyms for Love and Light. A woman was channelling an extra-terrestrial group called Those of Q'uo. It was pretty far out there for me, but something was pulling me toward it. I read a little bit of one of the archived channelling sessions and I was intrigued and somehow answered, somehow at home.

I began to delve into the archived question and answer sessions. They contained something more and more precious to me. It wasn't the words, which quite frankly, were slow, repetitive and only sometimes interesting. It was the perspective of off-world intelligence and more than that, it was the energy behind the words, strongly felt by me every time I sat in front of the computer screen and read from what had been channelled. This group, Those of Q'uo, honour the free will of Earth's humanity so completely that they wouldn't even speak unless it was to answer a question and every answer was offered with the caveat that the listener or the later reader use his or her discernment to take in only what resonated completely with their own sense of truth and relevancy. The energy of honouring and of unconditional love was strongly felt by me and I drank it in. I felt that I had found what my higher self had wanted me to find when that book fell into my hands.

It wasn't really about earth changes. It was indeed about the year 2012, but only as a marker, as a signal to us here on this planet that we are doing something extraordinary now. It is not solely because it is the year 2012 that we are doing this, although our galaxy is very much a part of our transition at this time. It is within us. It is a quickening, a coming to truth, an awakening, a transition to a new age. I was brought into awareness of all of this by the simple fact that on the day after my wedding, a book fell into my hands.

I highly recommend that you sample from the 2005 channelled session archives at the L & L research site. Reading from that site changed me; it changed my energy. And I am so grateful! I don't care if channelled stuff is seen as being wonky in some way. It helped me. It might help you.

More to come in another post.