My Path - Beginnings

I feel that it would be beneficial perhaps to some who read this blog to know where I come from, what beliefs and attitudes I have held. Perhaps in this way some can see their own stories reflected in mine, or can see that we have travelled similar paths.

I began as the daughter of a very intellectual and atheist father and a Christian mother. My mother was not devout; she used the United Church of Canada as a community that she could feel she belonged in. However, my mother did take me Sunday School when I was very young. Later, at my father's insistence, she gave all of us, myself and my three brothers and two sisters the choice of attending church or not. I chose to attend church with my mother sometimes. I liked the feeling of Him in that place when I was young. I didn't like the words used though, not then and not later. Words were extraneous and inadequate and just in the way, as far as I was concerned. I liked to sit in complete silence, in that all-too-brief pause between the moment when the minister said, "Let us pray," and when he began to speak the standard prayers of the United Church of Canada.

When I was about sixteen years old, my older brothers had been away at a boarding school in the countryside and I decided that I would also like to attend that co-educational school. My brother John had told me that the classes were more challenging and interesting than what was offered at the public high school in Dorval, Quebec, where I lived. I liked the idea of being challenged because I was bored silly and a straight A student. There was nothing for me to learn in the high school near my parents' house, at least, that is how I decided it was for me. In truth, I missed the gymnastics instruction and the music instruction, both of which were lacking at Bishop's College School. Still, I decided to go to the boarding school. Most of my classmates were drinking beer and smoking cigarettes and marijuana and I didn't want to waste my time with that.

At Bishop's, morning chapel attendance was required and there was a long service every Sunday which we had to attend also. My brother John had advised me to join the choir to make all of this compulsory church attendance less burdensome. I was very glad that I followed his advice.

We were a choir of 150 voices and we sang almost the entire service, from prayer responses to psalms and hymns. We sang the Creed and everything else, except the daily lessons and the weekly sermon. I loved the choir singing and I loved the harmonies that filled me with joy. We often sang in six part harmony; having so many voices and an experienced and accomplished choir director allowed for that.

As I sang, of course, I became more and more aware of the words that I was singing. The Creed especially became difficult for me to sing. I did not consider myself to be a sinner in need of salvation. I did not consider the Christ to be my 'Lord.' I am sovereign and felt myself to be sovereign even then.
So, I changed the words! I changed the word Jesus to the word Life. I changed the word Lord to the word Life. I didn't sing the changed words, of course, but I said them to myself. I decided then that I would create my own relationship with the most beloved Creator and Source, with the Christ who was pure love and light.

I Love the World

I love the world and that is all.

Having said that, I would like to explore here the journey that has brought me to say that I love the world.

I love the world with an energy that is mysterious to me. It is a love, an unconditional love, that lives within me, palpable, visceral and pulsing. I attend to it as to an infinitely precious treasure, and it is only  now, in my fifty-third year that I understand that I am here for this, only this. Any expression of my love for the world furthers my soul's purpose here on this planet at this time.

I will explore this love, the divine energy behind and within it, and how I became this emanation, in posts to come.



I love the world when it is blue flowers against blue rocks in my garden.

A Whole New Level of Self-Love

I have been in love with myself for well over a year now. It's a great way to be. Yet, just the other day, I experienced self-love on a whole new level and I'd like to share that with you here.

In the past, I have loved my mind, my soul, my heart, my emotions, my process and all of my experiences - the good, the bad and the downright ugly. I have loved my skin and my muscles too.

Sitting in my comfortable chair the other evening, calm and restful, I suddenly perceived my internal organs. I began at the base of my torso and could perceive with my  mind's eye very clearly, the organs situated there. I loved them completely and delightedly and passionately and compassionately. Then, I moved upward and perceived the viscera of my digestive system and felt a huge love for them. And on it went, up through my lungs and heart, my brain and the whole system of ears, nose, sinuses and throat that processes air, scent and sound. Suddenly, I was intensely aware of my bones, my skeletal structure, almost as if I were a medically trained professional and could see my body as a series of systems, intricate, complex and perfectly designed as my physical vessel through time and space. The love and joy were total within me and were delightedly spreading through my body, not just at the level of my skin and muscles, as before, but deep into my 'blood and guts' body, so to speak.

This morning, in meditation, I again had a very clear sense of my body's inner workings and the beauty and perfection of my organs and systems. I had pain in the soles of my feet and sent a colour to them, cooling and soothing, a turquoise blue-green. Immediately the pain left my feet. I felt a slight discomfort in my wrist, probably from using the computer so much, and sent a similar colour there. There was no mind, no thought, associated with this colour; it came from the innate knowing that I become more and more conscious of these days. The discomfort in my wrist disappeared.

Lately, I have been so much more aware of tones of colour and tones of sound as energetic frequencies that mean a great deal to me on levels beyond the mind. So, I am now playing with these tones of colour and sound joyfully as tools of healing, rebalancing and creation. This is fun!

And the level of self-love that now permeates even my liver, my kidneys, my bowels and my bladder feels miraculous to me. This is a whole new level of self-love.

Colour and Sound as Frequency

I'm becoming more and more aware of myself as an energetic alignment with a corporeal being.

In other words, I am energy, vibrating in a certain frequency, a frequency which fluctuates from moment to moment in patterns that are uniquely my own expression. This energy, which I am, is aligned with a body on this Earth and that is what people see when they look at me.

I am not, despite appearances, my body. I am energy aligned with this physicality that is visible to other people. And as this is true for me, it is also true for you.

More and more, I feel energies and frequencies that are not of the phsyical, yet relate to it and affect it. I am seeing these frequencies as colours and enjoying that correspondence very much.

Today, for example, I am a calm, pearly grey, touched with amethyst and palest yellow, barely a hint of yellow, yet it is there none-the-less. The colours that I am as frequency are almost never just one colour, but rather a muted blending of shades and tones, like oil pastels rubbed and subtly blended together on the artist's sketch pad.

To make it even more fun and enjoyable, tones can also be expressed as sounds. So there are tones of colour and tones of sound that express my frequency vibration at any particular moment.

Days have their moods for me. Today's grey tones bring out certain sounds, certain musical notes that resonate with my frequency. A frequency of peace and quiet home-coming infuses me today. The sounded tones and tones of colour blend within my consciousness to create an expression of my being now.

As I move through this Ascension process, becoming more and more aligned with higher dimensional consciousness and frequencies of love, peace and joy, I realize my energetic being and that of all other physicality on this planet. This is something that fills me with a blissful calm energy of complete enjoyment of what is.

I fall in love over and over again, moment by moment and know little else. Only love, only blessing, only gratitude for what is, only appreciation for all the potentials of what will be.

Colour and sound become much more expressive, for me, than words. I begin to use silence, touched by sound as notes sung and held within the breath and the body. I infuse my beingness with colour as well and move into frequency vibration as the truth of my being in the world.

Darkening Skies

Oh! I'm delving into images of darkness. I'm doing this only to bring to you an understanding that the darkness is not evil or bad. We do not need to fear it.

All around us, these days, are messages of darkening and disaster. Economic news is filled with fear and uncertainty. Political news is filled with conflicts and conspiracy theories.

I watched yet another video presentation about how dark and conspiratorial the world is. There are a lot of these messages out there, on the internet, which is to say, in our collective consciousness stream. I honestly can't remember the name of it ... oh, the name was something to do with Obama being a deceiver of some kind. Obama the deception.. something like that. So, I watched this whole long video and after I had finished watching it, I decided for myself what I believe, what I know of the world in which I live. And I think that we all have to do this, almost daily now, surrounded as we are by all of these messages of darkening, disaster, conspiracy, etc. We all have to decide what we believe, what we know, what we choose to focus on, what is important to us, what matters.

And what I decided as I sat in my living room after watching this film was that what I know is that there are 7 billion people on this planet and that 99% of those 7 billion people are filled with love as much as they are filled with anything else. Everywhere, people are kind, generous of spirit, helpful, loving and creative, not all the time, but often. Everywhere, people are coming up with interesting and positive changes and ideas about how to live and be in the world. And that matters to me. That is what I choose to focus on.

The news media don't make much money these days by telling us how great we are, how amazing the human race is, how evolving, moving, changing, becoming. The film-makers don't get much of a rush from dwelling on the slow, but sure, unfolding of love and kindness in this dawning of a new age. They get much more zing for their mediated messages of disaster and fear.

So keep that in mind as you surf the waves of human consciousness on the world wide web. Remember to be discerning and to consciously choose your own reality. You do this everytime you focus on one thing instead of focusing on something else. Since your focus and attention, intention and conscious choices make the world you live in, determine your reality, create your situation and surroundings, both energetically and materially, you might want to be as conscious about these as possible. Focus, attention, intention and choices.

Darkening skies bring winds and rains to sculpt and move and grow the new from the detritus of the old.

I'm focusing on the beginnings inherent in all of our endings.

Debt Crisis

I've never thought that spending money that wasn't mine was a good idea. I've never been comfortable with debt. I'm one of those people who carefully budget and save my money until I have enough to spend on the project that I'm choosing. For example, as I landscape around my new home, I am saving money each month through the winter so that in the springtime, I will have money to spend on plants and other supplies for my garden.

I live simply and I live within my means.

I love everything, so I never feel 'poor' because I am surrounded by a wealth of being, of beauty, of all that is in abundance. I can't adequately express the depth of my joy at simply being, not having... being.

Having said this, I just this morning read an article about Estonia. Facing a financial crisis in 2008-2009, they implemented an austerity budget on themselves. It wasn't easy for them, but they are coming out of those years with very little public debt and signs of growth in their economy. As a nation, as a society, they believe that you shouldn't spend money that you don't have. If you can't afford something, you should do without it, or save your money until you can afford it. If your income is low, you should look for ways to increase it. They are not 'in crisis' and they are not 'in the news' because they didn't get themselves into a huge hole of debt from which they were then unable to extricate themselves.

The Goldman Sachs of this world come across, for me, like loan-sharks with metaphoric baseball bats, threatening to break the legs of those who can't repay the loans that never should have been made. But it takes two to create a loan, lender and borrower. Shakespeare said it, "Neither a lender nor a borrower be." Good advice, in retrospect.

With no debt, I am free. My husband and I counsel others on how to reduce their debt so that they too can be free.

So, my view of the debt crisis is that it is a great opportunity for people to come to deeply understand what being in debt means for them. If we demonize the 'bankers,' we fail to take responsiblity for our own well-being. We blame it all on those evil and greedy ones. We are responsible for our own well-being. It is not bankers or politicians who are responsible for my well-being, my health and my happiness. I am responsible for these things.

And when we demonize and blame the very wealthy, we also lose a great opportunity to practice unconditional love and to bring ourselves to accept even those Goldman Sachs executives and others who appear to oppress and rob us.

Let us breathe deeply and see the divine in all things.

Let us choose freedom and move forward in the knowledge that it is we who provide it for ourselves.

It's Very Simple

You don't need to resist, oppose or stand against anything. You only need to choose sovereignty for yourself.

You don't need to hate war, you only need to love peace.

Whatever you resist right now, you will see more of. So instead of resisting what you do not want to see in your world, try tuning your own frequency to what you do want to see.

Joy.

Love.

Acceptance and open-minded tolerance of all for all.

Happiness in the moment.

Playfulness.

Music.

Harmony.

Co-operation.

Co-creation.

Be what you would like the world to be.


Here is a view from my front door.

Blessings!

Lu